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how do you know when it's time to move on?
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dmb



Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397

PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How deep is the pit? Is it too deep to climb out?
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thrifty



Joined: 25 Apr 2006
Posts: 1665
Location: chip van

PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is if you have been in it for a long time.
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Chris_Crossley



Joined: 26 Jun 2004
Posts: 1797
Location: Still in the centre of Furnace City, PRC, after eight years!!!

PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 2:35 pm    Post subject: Five years in Wuhan and counting... Reply with quote

In my case, it is not exactly a question of going back and forth like a yo-yo, but, after my first two years in Wuhan, China, I went back to the UK in the hope of getting a job. After eight fruitless weeks, I came back to China, and I have been here in Wuhan for almost exactly three more years, making five altogether. I know already that I may be here for yet another two years, possibly three.

How come I have stayed in the one city so long? Simple. I got married and have virtually taken root in Wuhan, primarily because, for nearly two years, I have had a very well-paid job here. Interestingly enough, none of the other posters in this thread have mentioned marriage, so I guess that it was easy for some of them to go from one country to another.

Would I have gone from country to country had I not got hitched? Definitely yes, as I would have liked to have taught in eastern Europe (especially the Czech Republic and Russia) and other east Asian countries (like Japan). However, if I do ever go to any of these countries to live and work, that will probably not happen for another 20+ years until I "retire" (by which I mean I will reach the then-UK pensionable age of 66 - it is still 65 for men now, but it will change within the next decade or so, I believe).

How do I know I will stay here in China for another two or three years? My daughter is now 2 1/2 years of age, so my wife and I intend having her attend school in the UK in either two or three years' time. Until then, I am perfectly content to remain where I am, since, after nearly five whole years, I have got used to Wuhan - as you would expect!

I know that it is said that a change is as good as a rest. My wife says that, if we cannot go to the UK (or else it proves unnecessary to do so), we could go to Shanghai instead - provided, so she says, that I can land a job at an international school so that our little one can benefit from discounted, if not free, tuition!!!

Let's just see what happens, shall we? (I just might have a chance, since I am a qualified secondary/high school teacher and, all being well, I will gain my master's degree in education by December of next year.)
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Will.



Joined: 02 May 2003
Posts: 783
Location: London Uk

PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The crunch comes when your rented accommodation in the country you are working in becomes too small for the stuff you have accumulated and the book collection needs to be shipped as it no longer fits into your backpack, then you look aroound and realise that none of the people who were there when you arrived remain, only you and you haven't had a payrise since last ages ago and your latest lover is just like all the others you have met in this country but younger and not as interesting conversationally and the beer starts to taste over-familiar and you miss fish and chips and a real pint of warm beer and thoughts of fog seem somehow warming and to smell, sinaesthetically, of roast chestnuts and fireworks mixed with leaf mould but tasting of Marmite or some other concoction...
Basically when you miss what you never expected to miss and there are none to whom you may confer and regard as capable of understanding and giving assistance with a relevant response, think about moving on.
On the other hand sticking it out a bit longer might get you better career prospects
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Chris_Crossley



Joined: 26 Jun 2004
Posts: 1797
Location: Still in the centre of Furnace City, PRC, after eight years!!!

PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 2:53 pm    Post subject: Do a degree online! Reply with quote

Will. wrote:
On the other hand sticking it out a bit longer might get you better career prospects


As might doing an MA in Education degree online: just the remedy for homesick Brits! I'm hoping to gain mine by Christmas next year!
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sheeba



Joined: 17 Jun 2004
Posts: 1123

PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
the book collection needs to be shipped as it no longer fits into your backpack,


I know that feeling !

Quote:
none of the people who were there when you arrived remain, only you and you haven't had a payrise since last ages ago and


And that



Quote:
you miss fish and chips and a real pint of warm beer


Yep



Quote:
thoughts of fog seem somehow warming and to smell,


Would be better than coal fumes.

Quote:
there are none to whom you may confer and regard as capable of understanding and


There's no-body Crying or Very sad

But on the other hand I'll stick it out Very Happy
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Venti



Joined: 19 Oct 2006
Posts: 171
Location: Kanto, Japan

PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 3:40 pm    Post subject: 100% Reply with quote

Until you're 100% sure you don't want to be where you are any longer, don't make a move. Confusion and indecision suck, but regret sucks more.
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Henry_Cowell



Joined: 27 May 2005
Posts: 3352
Location: Berkeley

PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dmb wrote:
How deep is the pit? Is it too deep to climb out?

thrifty wrote:
It is if you have been in it for a long time.

Who dug it?
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voodikon



Joined: 23 Sep 2004
Posts: 1363
Location: chengdu

PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow. so many conflicting perspectives.
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furiousmilksheikali



Joined: 31 Jul 2006
Posts: 1660
Location: In a coffee shop, splitting a 30,000 yen tab with Sekiguchi.

PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

voodikon wrote:
wow. so many conflicting perspectives.


Always the way. Although I can't help thinking that even asking yourself your original question is answering it too. Maybe you know it's time to leave.
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Deicide



Joined: 29 Jul 2006
Posts: 1005
Location: Caput Imperii Americani

PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simple question and answer:

Q: Are you a road warrior?

If not then you will know when you have to go back...

If yes you will die the life of the road warrior...

that's my take...
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sheeba



Joined: 17 Jun 2004
Posts: 1123

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 1:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think Milkshake and Decide summarise the situation pretty well with few words. Thanks voodikon for the post . I think it's made me think a lot too. I guess I'll just let intuition guide me.
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JZer



Joined: 16 Jan 2005
Posts: 3898
Location: Pittsburgh

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 2:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Simple question and answer:

Q: Are you a road warrior?

If not then you will know when you have to go back...

If yes you will die the life of the road warrior...

that's my take...


Deicide, nice post!!!
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yaramaz



Joined: 05 Mar 2003
Posts: 2384
Location: Not where I was before

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is how I figured it out:
Back in June, I quit my job, gave up my flat, sold my furniture, mentally bade adieu to my many years in Turkey, reserved a plane ticket out, then at the very last minute, upon hearing that a friend was looking for a flatmate, decided to stay and move in with her. After planning my escape thoroughly, within 24 hours I had a new flat, new job, and abandoned plan. And I'm still here and I dont regret my about face decision (yet). Go figure. Mind you, I did take 4 months off to travel after I gave up the flat and job- that may have helped me to adjust to staying.
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dmb



Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When's the flat waming Yaramaz Very Happy
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