Job Discussion Forums

[denise]

This has been nagging at my mind for a while...

I think that as long as we treat everyone fairly and equally in the classroom, it is OK/normal not to like them all equally. As a professor of mine said, we're people, too. We're allowed the same thoughts/opinions/etc. as "normal" people.

Still, I feel like I need to make an extra-concerted effort to find something positive/redeeming in all of them (something that I always try to do when I meet new people anyway), and it really bothers me that there are students that I just really do not like.

What do the rest of you guys/ladies do when you don't like one of your students (or more than one!)? Vent to colleagues? Keep it to yourself? Act differently towards them in class?

d

[Gordon]

I often talk to my colleagues and see if they are of the same mind or if it is just me. Then maybe we can talk about a concerted strategy with them. Sometimes there is a good reason why they are behaving that way (death in the family, breakup...) or maybe they are just jerks.

[struelle]

Great topic!

[denise]

Steve--

I like your analysis. The 1/3 breakdown seems very accurate. I think in the past, in my first teaching job, I tended to focus too much on the top 1/3. Those were the ones who wanted to be there, who worked hard, and who participated. Thus, they made my life/job easier, and I think I rewarded them with extra attention. I basically decided that the ones who didn't pay attention/participate must have made a conscious effort not to participate, which of course was their right... (This was in a private language institute with mostly adult students--if that's any justification!)

Somehow over the next couple of years I stopped doing that, thankfully. (A hidden benefit of my MA? Personal growth? Who knows?!?!?) I have been much better about trying to give equal attention in/out of class. Still, there are a couple of students who kind of slip through the cracks, and, unfortunately, I'm still not doing enough for those ones.

What about that other group of students that Gordon mentioned, though? The ones who are just jerks? They're a whole 'nother issue!

d

[Wolf]

I teach very large university classes that do not meet often. I do try to give everyone the opportunity to participate, but that's just not easy. Motivation is rarely a problem with my students. Their families often had to work pretty hard to send them to school, and they know it.

In Japan I had more problems with the students not liking each other. I would simply move them apart in class. I often move people in my classes, so it wouldn't have been too out of the ordinary.

I taught a few students who "didn't want to be there." But I would try to make the class interesting. I had to make them participate (can't have one slacker in a class of four.) And, if they were to just sit there, it would make them different from the group.

There were many students that I didn't have anything in common with. We just couldn't connect. This was a real problem when I had a 2 hour, one to one conversational class with an advanced student of this sort.

[Capergirl]

I like Steve's analysis, too. Very well said, Steve.

Personally, I find that a student's motivation -or lack thereof - has a lot to do with my feelings toward that particular student. It is interesting to see that motivation appears to be the deciding factor for other teachers as well. It must be a teacher thing. I have the hardest time "liking" students who don't do homework, show up late for class, skip classes, and/or do diddly squat in class. All of these actions (or inactions) are symptoms of low motivation. That kind of apathy really bothers me. Fortunately, most of my (current) students are very motivated, so this is rarely a problem for me.

What I have a problem with (sometimes) is the "teacher's pet" phenomenon. There seems to be one standout in every class that I have. I definitely don't want to show favouritism in class, so I try very hard to treat everyone equally. However, it is almost impossible sometimes not to compare the other students to the numero uno (internally, never aloud).

[Lynn]

I am so happy someone started this thread. It has also been on my mind. I agree with Wolf about the one on one lessons. I've had students with whom I just did not click. This was at a school, so the student just told the director, and the director told me not to take it personally. When this first happened, I couldn't help but take it personally. I think I cried. I felt like I failed. I don't cry anymore, but I do question myself.

But have you ever had a slightly different situation? I've had situations where I do not like the student, but the student loves me. Right now I have a private lesson with Mr.L at school. He has private lessons 6 times a week with 3 different teachers. He asked the director if I could teach him all 6 days. I declined, of course. Now he only has 3 lessons left and he requested those hours with me. I asked the director if this was okay. And she said,"Oh my gosh, yes! The other teachers have completely given up on him and don't know what to do with him."

Group lessons are different. I'd take group lessons over private any day!

[jud]

I'm not exactly a "people person," but I also have almost never had a student whom I didn't like. The exception was someone completely unmotivated and universally disliked by her co-workers. She basically wanted me to learn for her. But strangely enough she loved me as a teacher. (I pushed her a lot in lessons).
Other "difficult" or less motivated students have challenged me to stretch and find ways of communicating and motivating them. I think these students force you to take a step back and re-evaluate what you're doing, which can be beneficial for all of the students in a class. Many people have to learn how to learn and have never been positively reinforced.

That said, while I think any teacher should be able to teach any student, there is such a thing as chemistry. There are some students who I know I won't be a great teacher for, and others for whom I'm a good fit.

[Dr.J]

I agree with the 1/3 breakup, but I wonder if it isn't created by the group structure itself rather than by individual student's personalities. Outside of class I find some 'slackers' to be quite keen.

It's unreasonable to expect that you will like every student. But if you keep it in perspective it doesn't have to affect how well you teach them. I remind myself that obnoxious students often have family problems or other 'issues', or more simply, that they are just a kid, and I did some failry obnoxious stuff as a kid too, so that makes me a little more understanding and tolerant.

Also, kids are very aware of which students are the 'favorite' in the class, so now and then choosing the 'bad' kid over the favorite may help a lot with the classroom atmosphere.

[Peter]

At times, I wish I could string up the best on the guts of the worst.