Job Discussion Forums

[anne_o]

yep......

i would like to hear some opinions, stories, observations, etc, from any liberated, open-minded, sexually active foreign women, who have been involved with japanese men.

how are they? are they generally too shy to approach foreign women?

believe it or not, i'm an american woman who finds asian men very attractive and i'm planning on going to tokyo.

responses from men are welcome as well.

looking forward to the replies!

[Sour Grape]

Just in case I get outed later, as Sweetsee once did, let me make clear that I am a man.

Have a look at the Women and a better life thread a few posts down - on the second or third page it has comments from foreign women about dating Japanese men.

Most of the attractive foreign women I have known in Japan have been able to get all the sex they wanted.

[anne_o]

ahhhhh....my heart is beating and i have a big smile on my face.

lovely.....i'll check out the thread

thanks

[markle]

just a word of warning, Japanese men are nowhere near as fawning and accomodating as Thai guys

[JimDunlop2]

It's raining men, Hallelujah it's raining men, Amen!



Sorry. Couldn't resist.


Okay, move along people. Nothing to see here!

[kdynamic]

Japanese men are hot, have great fashion sense, are playful and fun in bed, and will probably worship you if you're an attractive western girl. It might take you a while to figure out th dating scene here, but once you do you'll be having a blast! In Tokyo there are countless guys who speak English and would love to take you out.

As was said, check out the other thread for more details.

[sallycat]

have fun!

[Hoser]

Just be ready for the dreaded "I love you" after the first date. This is from second-hand experience-I haven't been dating any japanese men

[anne_o]

so funny.....i get that "i love you" crap here in bangkok! peoples notions of what love is are sometimes so skewed, especially over here. oh well, sometimes i just smile....sometimes i reply with a "no you don't" depending on my mood.
so, another question for any of you living in japan with experience or insight into the "dating" scene....which i have never been really into, no matter what country i'm in. i mean...i'm not the dinner and a movie type....dating?????
anyway...my question is......is there a typical, sort of generic type of japanese man who likes to date foreign women? or can i expect to meet some more interesting characters?
i ask, because here in bangkok, the social structure makes it hard to meet some of the guys i'm really attracted to. the fact that i make a lot more money than many of the men here is a big deal.

[kdynamic]

I find that the guys interested in foreign women here tend to be interesting because they are open minded and interested in interesting things (like travel, foreign language, and generally the world outside their immediate area). There is no one type of guy that's more interested in foreign women, but I guess if I had to say, I would guess that a guy who has traveled and studied a foreign language or culture might be more apt to be interested. They also tend to be self-assured and confident. There are lots of shy guys here who won't know how to approach you at all. It's a shame but it's true. However, there are lots of NOT shy guys as well, and these are the confident ones I am talking about. It's pretty unlikely that you'll be making more money than them, so that won't be a problem. Actually, in my experience, Japanese guys always insist on paying for everything.

[johanne]

It is true that Japanese guys usually insist on paying everything as this is the custom here. However my Japanese husband on our second date asked me if he had to pay all the time. Although I was working for NOVA he was actually making less money than me. He asked me quite sheepishly, and actually I found it endearing. He has other quirks which I think made him more likely to approach a foreign woman. For example, he had backpacked with his buddies for a month in Australia, often sleeing in the rental car and did a similar thing in the U.S. He went to Canada by himself and hooked up with a Quebecer and they travelled through the Rockies together and somehow managed to communicate. He also used to be a salary man, but then gave it all up to become a gardener. When I met him he was doing his apprenticeship with a master gardener and thus has so little money.

As kdynamic says, this type of person is more likely to approach you. On the other hand a Canadian friend of mine ended up married to a Japanese banker who completely fit the stereotype of a salary man working 12 hours a day and having little to say. He spoke almost no English and her Japanese was limited, although 2 years later she was fluent. She was hoping to move back to Canada, but he really didn't want to go and who could blame him. In Tokyo he had a high-powered job with a million yen a month salary and was considered a great success. In Canada he would be hard pressed to get a job at 7/11 since his English was so weak.
That's the one thing I would think about if you get seriously involved with someone from another country. I think one of the greatest difficulties in an international marriage/serious relationship is finding a place to live where both people can be happy and successful (however the peson defines success). In my case neither one of us minded living in the other's country. We lived 4 years in Japan, then 7 in Canada and are now back in our 2nd year in Japan. We are planning to live in a 3rd country, probably in Europe, in another 3 or 4 years time. Then maybe we will head back to Canada. In this area we agree quite easily, but I know it has been a problem for other couples. It also helps that both our jobs are very portable (teachers and gardeners seem to be in need everywhere)

That's probably more than you needed or wanted to know, so yes, dating here can be quite fun and it's not necessary to go the "dinner and movie" route. You can just meet, hang out and be a couple.

[keister]

let me tell you sister... coming from an Asian man, any Asian dude that can even scrounge up the cojones to approach a western woman, let alone ask her on a date has GOT to be self-assured and confident!

[Apsara]

Interesting that Johanne's husband's background is quite similar to mine- he also backpacked around Australia (almost a year), NZ and the States by himself, spent a few years as a salaryman and then chucked that in. His English is good, and yes he is a pretty confident guy, it probably does take some extra confidence for a Japanese guy to ask a foreign woman out on a date.

We have been splitting the bill pretty much since our first date though, in fact a lot of our finances are still separate!

[thelza]

I'm finding these stories really interesting! Am heading to Tokyo with ECC in a week, and I'm looking forward to meeting some new and interesting guys! (I guess I should say "hoping to meet.")

I find that I tend to get along better with people who have spent time in other countries, as I think we usually have a similar disposition. Fellow Americans in other countries are usually more interesting to me than Americans who have never left (with the exception of the stereotypical expat who is there with a company and lives in like a corporate bubble.. I'm talking people who study abroad, teach English, backpack, etc.) But of course I'd rather meet locals.

Anyway these are just generalizations.. but I think that maybe Japanese men who have spent time abroad become more desirable and similar to Western women in Japan, rather than Japanese men who have never left the country.

Does anyone have more Japanese husband success stories??

[Alberta605]

Mostly hairless.