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Guy Courchesne · Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City

Such a situation might be the norm here too, though I've never seen it.

Samantha · Joined: 25 Oct 2003 Posts: 2038 Location: Mexican Riviera

Guy wrote:

corporatehuman · Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Posts: 198 Location: Mexico City

This is what�s so great about Mexico, its such a diverse country. � stayed in Guadalajara for about two weeks and would agree with Aarbas comments. However I�ve lived in a small town in Chiapas for about eight, nine months now...and rest assured, machismo is very well alive.

It�s one of the reasons I�ve found living here very interesting (the people are very different) and very frustrating. I have a number of male friends, that doesn�t seem to be a problem. But it is seldom that a woman and a man here can just be friends. In fact...

Most girls here live with their parents. All of them have to have permission to go out at night. I know very, very, few girls that have permission to leave their house past 10 o�clock. In general, they can stand outside of their house and talk to boys at that time, but cannot leave to go anywhere.

Most girls around my age (24 and up...) are all married. Probably 90% of them. And they all have kids. And husbands. It makes things difficult. Actually this is something I�ve been wanting to bring up...

I live with two mexicans, and last night my one friend was drunk and bragging to me about his four girlfriends. This wasn�t the first time we had this conversation. Now for a long time I thought of girlfriends, as...in terms of my experience in the United States, someone you regularly spend time with, go out with, etc. etc. And so I was always amazed baffled confused how my ONE friend Hector could manage to have four, to five, to six girlfriends. Like where did he get the time??? The energy???

And then finally, after meeting one of my Hector�s girlfriends at a party, it all clicked. The party was outside of her house (her dad inside asleep), and was thrown for the birthday of a friend. Hector (my roommate and her boyfriend) held her hand, and occasionally kissed her. And that was it. That meant they were girlfriend and boyfriend. He hadn�t seen her in 3 to 4 months (though they live 10 minutes apart) but they still considered themselves to be girlfriend and boyfriend!

And then it finally clicked. The only way for a guy to HAVE a female friend, is to say that they are their girlfriend. And vice-versa, a girl cannot spend any amount of time with a guy, without that guy being her boyfriend!!

(there are exceptions I imagine, like when coming back from school many students hang out for hours together before they go home...)

Now the problem in my town is, every guy has minimum three to four girlfriends. In reality, ONE is usually a serious girlfriend, and the others are just friends they like to spend time with. It�s almost akin to a guy in a monogamous relationship but with other female friends!!

I, myself, have had problems meeting girls in my town. Mostly because after NINE o�clock there aren�t any!! Also because they all have boyfriends. Of course with Machismo a guy can have ten girlfriends, but girls can NOT have more than one boyfriend, at any given time. As a result, there�s no SINGLE WOMEN.

And yet close by, thirty minutes away is Tuxtla Guiterrez, where I sit writing this email. And in Tuxtla it appears to be entirely different! A lot less machismo. A lot more freedom for women in general. People that go out past 10 o�clock until early in the morning.

I�m curious if anyone else has had experiences with this. The only time I�ve had (very brief) relationships in Mexico have been in San Cristobal and Mexico City, where everything was so much easier, in terms of finding places to meet people you like!

Chris

corporatehuman · Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Posts: 198 Location: Mexico City

I didn�t take the �getting away�comment like that at all! I have no clue what happened to the Canadian you are talking about...and it is true there are some GOOD things foreigners can get away, and some BAD things too.

For me, one of the greatest things in my town, is being able to be friends with WHOEVER I want. Meaning I can talk to people working on the street without feeling ashamed! This one incident happened recently where I properly greeted a Mexican woman, by kissing her on the cheek, though I knew she worked in the back kitchen of a restaurant (that I frequent), and she was STUNNED. Why???? Because, besides the people of her own class (which is POOR), no one properly greets her with respect.

For me, this is GETTING away with something. What is nice though is that I cannot (I wasnt born here) adhere to the class structure because it just isnt in me! Half of the time I don�t see it. Ironically, the longer I live here, the harder it is to treat everyone as equals, because when my wealthy friend, who is standing a few meters away, sees me hanging out with someone who is of a lower-class, often this strains my relationship with him the next day. Or lowers my reputation etc.

You are right that there are plenty of foreigners that ignore the tradition, common values, and respect in a society, blatantly. I�ve tried to toe this line, keeping respect, while not turning into a chaste monk. Also just keeping in mind one must do what one must do to enjoy life. I don�t advocate doing these things at the expense of others, but...well, ONLY one life!

The worst crime I see foreigners committing on a daily basis, is being RUDE. But damn, if that�s the worst that they do, it isn�t SO bad.

Chris

Guy Courchesne · Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City

Samantha · Joined: 25 Oct 2003 Posts: 2038 Location: Mexican Riviera

Corporatehuman wrote:

Henry_Cowell · Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 3352 Location: Berkeley

Guy Courchesne · Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City

I'd seen this story. There has to be more to it. Taxi drivers and service staff in Acapulco do not just go around beating people to death. From what I've experienced in Acapulco, the bar staff or bouncers would be far more likely to have thrown out the local man (which at the Paladium, is highly unlikely to have been someone from Acapulco) than the tourist. Something really stinks about this story.

Henry_Cowell · Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 3352 Location: Berkeley

Guy Courchesne · Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City

Ben Round de Bloc · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1946

Samantha · Joined: 25 Oct 2003 Posts: 2038 Location: Mexican Riviera

Guy wrote:

Guy Courchesne · Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City

Could be anything...drug-related is my first guess. 19 year olds cut loose in Acapulco...anything goes, and everyone working in Acapulco is long used to to providing anything people want.

cangringo · Joined: 18 Jan 2007 Posts: 327 Location: Vancouver, Canada

read these if you really want to be disgusted with Canadians... http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20070111/deprisco_feedback_email_070111/20070115?hub=TorontoHome&pr=0

Not to say that there aren't people like this everywhere, but a lot of these are disgusting. This is how all the misinformation spreads. A lot of ignorant people out there.

gordogringo · Joined: 15 Jul 2005 Posts: 159 Location: Tijuana

I am trying to figure out what issues anyone would have with the comments from the link above. I read the first few pages and they seem pretty on the dinero. Local law enforcement is corrupt and unreliable?Yes, this could not be more true.The narcos own most of Mexico local law enforcement.That should not be news to anybody.In trouble in Mexico, you are on your own? This is true for US citizens in every country but if you are looking for outside help, of course you are on your own in Mexico.
Club staff conspire to shake down customers? Mexico is famous for teaming service staff with corrupt cops and splitting the take.Has been happening for over 50 years.

In Tijuana they are forming citizens groups to walk the streets at night and monitor police activity with tourists. Baja tourism has dropped substantially because of the police robbing visitors.Many visitors are scared to report the corruption and just pay and never return.