Job Discussion Forums

DMan · Joined: 17 Mar 2003 Posts: 4

I have been teaching at an elementary Hagwon in Seoul for most of the past year. For a variety of reasons, both cultural and personal, I am thinking about finding a job in Japan for my next contract. I don't have teaching degree -- just a basic 4-year BA from the USA.

If you have gone to Japan from Korea, how did you go about it? Did you go home first (I'm American) then fly to Japan? I'd like to go home and see family first. Did you interview in your home country? In Korea?

Also, culturally, I am not very impressed with Korea. The people are rude and not very friendly, in my opinion. Sure, some are, but it doesn't seem like the most enjoyable place to be sometimes. Is Japan better?

Dating in Korea has been a bit of a downer too. I'd like to meet someone and marry in the next few years (in my early 30s) and there is such a huge emphasis on age, and how someone is considered a bit of a loser if they are over 28 and unmarried. To make it worse, they tack another 2 years on my age (asian age figuring thing)! The women here are difficult to figure out (not that they'd be much better in Japan, I'm sure) and I am tired of being used. They all seem to want to not get serious unless they are approaching 30. Then it's like the get desperate and will grab hold of about anything (scary). Otherwise, if they are below 26 or so, they just want to play and not get serious unless you are rich, have a great job, or are good-looking enough. They don't seem to take westerners as serious partners, due to culture pressures.

I'm not sure it would be much better in Japan? Too easy for a nice guy to get hurt in Japan too?

Thanks

Brooks · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1369 Location: Sagamihara

I have heard some people are leaving Korea, because of a fear of war.

Well in Japan, nice guys can get hurt. Like anywhere.
Some realationships work, and have happy endings.
But some don`t, and end in divorce.

I talked to a fellow teacher who has been in Japan ten years or more and he said that foreign guys often get together with Japanese women who are older than them. Sometimes much older. Some of them are going through a mid-life crisis just like some men do. After talking to him, it made me feel pessimistic.
But I had to believe him.

homersimpson · Joined: 14 Feb 2003 Posts: 569 Location: Kagoshima

There are many factors to consider in the kind of dating scenario you mentioned. First, there are a host of cultural differences, but more practically, you have to consider where you are going to live. Americans tend to think everyone wants to live in America, but don't assume that. If you want a long-term relationship with a Japanese woman (or any other current non-U.S. resident) you will first need to consider that fundamental fact. There are a lot of Westerners happy living in Japan permanently (the "lifers"), but would that be something you'd consider? "Getting a girlfriend" just about anywhere in the world isn't that difficult, but when you start thinking about marriage you will have to find answers to many questions. I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade, just trying to be realistic! Wink

DMan · Joined: 17 Mar 2003 Posts: 4

I would be willing to stay in her country if need be. Not a problem.

Am still wondering -- what is Japan like compared to Korea?

DMan · Joined: 17 Mar 2003 Posts: 4

Reasons to stay:

1. Easy work that pays OK for the area (can save).
2. Building a base of Korean friends.
3. Lots of beautiful girls.
4. No sales tax.

Reasons to leave:

1. Little or no chance for building a career here
2. Korean friends have no time to meet during the week because they work work work (or just dilly-dally at work until the boss leaves).
3. Lots of beautiful girls who are VERY superficial and afraid to date or commit with a foriegner. If they like you, they whine like ten year olds. Can't be myself around them either. If I am too kind or caring (though they claim that's what they want) I am seen as weak. If I joke too much, or they don't understand my jokes, I am viewed as immature.
4. Health care seems expensive for covering next to nothing
5. Xenophobic, racist, elitest culture
6. Bosses can be arrogant idiots who think they're god but truly suck
7. Koreans are abrupt and rude. If over age 28 and single, you are considered old and a failure at dating -- and called that directly.
8. Polluted
9. Most single women live with their parents, so dating them is like dating was like in high school.

Those are a few to start with, anyway.

lajzar · Joined: 09 Feb 2003 Posts: 647 Location: Saitama-ken, Japan

I made teh jump from Korea to Japan. This was after a 1 year hiatus from teaching, but I have not looked back. YMMV.

I notice you only list reasons to stay and leave Korea. It looks like your reasons to leave Korea are winning, but...

When you choose your destination country, choose it because there is something about that country that attracts you. You don't say why Japan and not, say, Tibet. When you know why a particular country attracts you, thats when you have your decision made.

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

DMan,

I would say you need a break. I suggest going home before you jump right into another new culture.

Brooks · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1369 Location: Sagamihara

from what I have heard is that Koreans are emotional and direct, whereas Japanese are not.
In Japan there is xenophobia too, but I guess Japan is more liberal than Korea.
In both countries there is a Confucian heritage, but it is probably stronger in Korea than Japan.