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tudodude
Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 82
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 Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 2:16 pm Post subject: What's the secret............... |
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Hi, as I am heading out to Saudi in a few days I have been trying to meet people (Saudi natives) from friendship websites.
They all have lots of Arab friends but no "western".
Can anyone give me a few tips on how to win over the locals or should I concentrate on being the quintessential bitter Ex-pat?
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Gordon
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 5309
Location: Japan
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| Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 2:18 pm Post subject: |
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| What sort of "friendship" are we talking about? |
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tudodude
Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 82
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| Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 2:33 pm Post subject: what sort....................... |
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| Well I was hoping for an internet friendship where I am make on line freinds, something usefull in a new country |
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007
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 2684
Location: UK/Veteran of the Magic Kingdom
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| Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:19 pm Post subject: Re: What's the secret............... |
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| tudodude wrote: |
Hi, as I am heading out to Saudi in a few days I have been trying to meet people (Saudi natives) from friendship websites.
They all have lots of Arab friends but no "western".
Can anyone give me a few tips on how to win over the locals or should I concentrate on being the quintessential bitter Ex-pat?
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In Saudi Arabia there are three types of friendship:
1. Social friendship
2. Professional friendship, and
3. Wasta (interest) friendship
And the above types of friendship may differ from �Saudi-to-Saudi�, �Westerner-to-Saudi�, and �Arab-to-Saudi�!
Internet friendship sometimes is misleading!
As a Westerner, you need to know some of the Saudi traditions and �protocols� Before you start a serious social friendship.
So, it is up to you which friendship you want to have? |
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BajaLaJaula
Joined: 25 Jan 2007
Posts: 267
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| Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 7:26 pm Post subject: |
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How about a subservient relationship......It may be easier over the internet....in person I have found Saudi's to be very reluctant to open up....and to be more than just business friendly. Most of their relationships are within family....even marriage.
Not a criticism just my observation. I made lots of friends that were expats, but never a Saudi....I have heard similar stories from others...so I am inclined to think it was not just me. BTW I am not a bitter expat...far from it......there is much to be appreciated from arab culture in general, maybe not Saudi Arabia...(IMHO).
I would be willing to bet that the other arabs on those friendship sites would agree with my assessment.
We go to KSA for the fulus...not for the friendship...too bad really.
Good Luck and let us know how it turns out. |
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scot47
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343
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| Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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Saudis do not make friends with other Saudis. Why would they make friends with a foreigner ? And a Frank to boot ?
Relationships are determined by family, kinship and marriage. |
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007
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 2684
Location: UK/Veteran of the Magic Kingdom
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| Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 8:59 pm Post subject: |
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| BajaLaJaula wrote: |
How about a subservient relationship......It may be easier over the internet....in person I have found Saudi's to be very reluctant to open up....and to be more than just business friendly. Most of their relationships are within family....even marriage.
Not a criticism just my observation. I made lots of friends that were expats, but never a Saudi....I have heard similar stories from others...so I am inclined to think it was not just me. BTW I am not a bitter expat...far from it......there is much to be appreciated from arab culture in general, maybe not Saudi Arabia...(IMHO).
I would be willing to bet that the other arabs on those friendship sites would agree with my assessment.
We go to KSA for the fulus...not for the friendship...too bad really.
Good Luck and let us know how it turns out. |
It depends on what type of expat you are?
It is difficult for a westerner to make close friendship with a Saudi because of clash of �cultures� and miss-interpretation of the �social protocols� of each other.
For example, in Arab culture if two friends meet each other after a long time, they will kiss each other, which is normal in all Arab cultures. But, for the European or Americans it may look �bizarre� ,
Also, there are no common social background between Saudis and Western foreigners, that�s why it is very difficult to built a close friendship , at least from social point of view.
In general, Arab expat make good friend with the Saudis, and sometimes a Saudi may tell his private stories to an Arab friend and not to a Saudi. Even some Saudis, they feel more comfortable with Arab friends than with Saudis, especially concerning political and other social affairs.
I am not a Westerner, and I made a lot of Saudi friends, even some of them invited me to their weddings and to their houses for family gathering and social activities. |
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BajaLaJaula
Joined: 25 Jan 2007
Posts: 267
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| Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:16 pm Post subject: |
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The fact that Saudi's make such a big deal about the distinction between themselves and other arabs....explains much of the problem.
Iraqis, Jordanians, and other arab nationalities don't seem to make such of big deal of their cultural differences as do Saudis...always seeming to believe they are superior to other arabs.
This is a generalization of course...but IMHO...holds true most of the time.
They may kiss and greet but they still feel like their Saudianess makes them better. |
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Van Norden
Joined: 23 Oct 2004
Posts: 409
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| Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 6:07 am Post subject: |
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dude, I'd love to tell you fairytales but you'd only blame me later, when you get here. You've got to understand what you're getting into. You will be doing time, essentially. A joyless prison sentence. Come with that frame of mind and you won't be disappointed. I learnt the hard way. I came with hopes of good times and fun and a semi-normal life. After being here 3 weeks these hopes had been crushed. Like Boo Radley in To Kill a Mockingbird , I retired to my own little Radley House here in Riyadh.
I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy... |
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Junaid
Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 26
Location: Riyadh, KSA.
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