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BajaLaJaula
Joined: 25 Jan 2007 Posts: 267
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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I agree.... this all goes back to the servant master type of mentality as well....I had a student snapping his fingers at me ONCE...to let me know that he required my attention immediately. I promptly informed him that this was inappropriate and that it was highly disrespectful only done to get an animals attention..never to be used for a human.
His response...he did not realize that it was disrespectful.
This is IMO a universal rule that crosses cultural differences.....It is disrespectful to snap ones fingers at anyone regardless of culture. It is OK for Saudis...again .....IMO....because they treat non-Saudi's, generally, as servants....so it is fine in their minds.
You have to know this going in......and just deal with it.....this is how their culture works....expats....(even teachers)....are considered workers or servants and will be treated accordingly.
To his credit, he did not snap his fingers at me again.....just called TEACHER TEACHER TEACHER, repeatedly until I came over to help. |
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007

Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 2684 Location: UK/Veteran of the Magic Kingdom
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:07 pm Post subject: |
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| dmb wrote: |
007, why did you use the Scots as an example? Is it because you know that the Scots are the most cultured race?
If you don't believe me there is a great book "Capital of the Mind- How Edinburgh changed the world" by James Buchan  |
Dmb, between you and me, I like the Scottish culture more than the American, English, and Irish culture for the following reasons:
�Significant differences on culture appeared with the Scots higher on Individualism and the English higher on Power Distance. Of the three burnout sub-scales, only Emotional Exhaustion showed significant differences between the cultures with England being higher than Scotland. Scottish longevity in their current jobs and in the child and youth care field generally indicated an ability to contain burnout. English longer work hours and lower salary were seen as potential contributors to burnout.� http://www.childrenuk.co.uk/chaug/aug2000/vsavicki.htm
Also, I thing the English should give credits to Scottish, because in 1070, many persecuted English people moved into Lothian from England due to Norman Conquest. The English who were persecuted in England flourished in Scotland. So, I think Stephen should thank Dmb for the generosity of his great-grand fathers.  |
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veiledsentiments

Joined: 20 Feb 2003 Posts: 17644 Location: USA
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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| BajaLaJaula wrote: |
| .just called TEACHER TEACHER TEACHER, repeatedly until I came over to help. |
just another version of "me, me, me"
... and the snapping of the fingers... yes, that was something that only happened once in my classes since it was followed by a lecture on 'respect.' It was much harder to break them of the 'me me me' act. My cure was not to answer any questions from anyone who did not quietly raise their hand when I was finished with the other student.
But, I never allowed them to call me 'teacher' unless they preferred that I call them 'student.' They knew my name...
VS |
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Cleopatra

Joined: 28 Jun 2003 Posts: 3657 Location: Tuamago Archipelago
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:56 pm Post subject: |
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| he expects you to IMMEDIATELY drop the person that is being worked with and scamper to their side... |
Unlike you, I have found this characteristic among female students as well, and while it is certainly annoying, I'm not sure it is selfishness per se. I think it's more that Saudis - and probably Arabs in general - have a less 'linear' mindset about dealing with such situations. They can happily go from one person to the next and then back again within a few minutes, whereas you and I would prefer to finish dealing with one student before going on to the next. It's like the way they interrupt one another and change the subject all the time and don't seem to see anything wrong with it. BTW I've always found the 'teacher' appelation to be quite cute, and have never felt it to be at all disrespectful. After all, don't we address people by calling them 'doctor' as a term of respect?
But back to friendship. I think Stephen makes some very good points. As expats who will only be around for several years at most, we don't really have that much to offer Saudis who have a whole network of long-term social contacts at their disposal. That might sound harsh, but it's true. Particularly when it's remembered that Saudis, unlike people in other parts of the region and the world, are not likely to want to befriend you just because you are a foreigner. The country is full of foreigners who are here as paid help, so there is little curiousity value or 'prestige' attached to having foreign friends. On the contrary, as others have said, no matter how exalted some expats may consider themselves to be, at the end of the day, they are simply hired help in most Saudis' eyes. Again, this might sound harsh, but that doesn't make it any less true. |
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007

Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 2684 Location: UK/Veteran of the Magic Kingdom
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 6:29 pm Post subject: |
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| BajaLaJaula wrote: |
..I had a student snapping his fingers at me ONCE...to let me know that he required my attention immediately. I promptly informed him that this was inappropriate and that it was highly disrespectful only done to get an animals attention..never to be used for a human.
His response...he did not realize that it was disrespectful.
This is IMO a universal rule that crosses cultural differences.....It is disrespectful to snap ones fingers at anyone regardless of culture. |
Each culture has its positives and negatives, but what I find more dangerous is the �Gun culture� in the American schools.
I prefer a student to snap his finger at me than to point a gun at me and then kill me for no whatever reasons, or for drug problems, as it happened in some of the American schools!! and we hear about stories about students with pistol into their pocket or bag and walking into a public school. It is a disaster that these things happening in the American society (Gun culture in school)�. I think this is more dangerous than a student snapping his finger or leg to you! |
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dmb

Joined: 12 Feb 2003 Posts: 8397
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Dmb, between you and me, I like the Scottish culture more than the American, English, and Irish culture |
Don't worry 007, your secret is safe with me. |
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tannhauser

Joined: 26 May 2006 Posts: 43 Location: Middle East
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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There was one gentleman who had an arrangement where the student who was his "friend" would shuttle him around all over town for simple shopping trips and even weekend dashes to Khobar. What was interesting was that the gentleman in question said these trips were all in aid of his friend's English practice. It was of course a load of old cobblers - the cheapskate just wanted a free ride which coming from an aging old bugger who counted all the pennies is fairly normal in these parts. Anyway, the Saudi was under the impression that the gentleman was his friend and that apart from English practice there was a modicum of mutual respect. Far from it! When scrooge left town he didn't even drop this Saudi guy a line or even thank him for the 10 pm trips to Farm stores.
Unreal.
If there's one thing for sure, getting all pally with a TEFLer has its risks - particularly if you're another one of these naive Saudis who takes a fork-tongued grandfather-type at face value. |
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Stephen Jones
Joined: 21 Feb 2003 Posts: 4124
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:05 am Post subject: |
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If the guy was from Jubail I would probably know him!
The car thing is interesting. If you don't have a car the Saudi pities you as some kind of cursed creature who needs nurturing. And the true meanness of many Saudi Teflers is inconceivable to the Saudis (or indeed to nearly everybody else). |
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scot47

Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Posts: 15343
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 4:49 am Post subject: |
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The ones who address me as "Teacher, teacher' are addressed by me as 'Boy'. They soon learn to call me Mr Scot47.
It is acceptable in Arabic to say,"Ustaz' as a term of address - not in English. |
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Van Norden
Joined: 23 Oct 2004 Posts: 409
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 11:23 am Post subject: |
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| I really couldn't care less what they call me or what they think of me here. Just keep depositing large sums of cash into my bank account, that's all I ask of this place. |
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007

Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 2684 Location: UK/Veteran of the Magic Kingdom
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 12:22 pm Post subject: |
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| scot47 wrote: |
The ones who address me as "Teacher, teacher' are addressed by me as 'Boy'. They soon learn to call me Mr Scot47.
It is acceptable in Arabic to say,"Ustaz' as a term of address - not in English. |
�Ustaz� is used mostly by the Egyptians, and they are very sensitive to the titles. For example an Egyptian Engineer likes to be called �Bash Muhandiss�, and an Egyptian Doctor likes to be called �Ya Doctooor�, and an Egyptian professor like to be called �Ya Ustaz�. And the poor Saudis students were taught all these types of titles from the Egyptians.
Saudi students in technical colleges call a Doctor teacher �Ya Doctoor� and Engineer teacher �Ya Muhandiss�.
| Sergeant Van wrote: |
| I really couldn't care less what they call me or what they think of me here. Just keep depositing large sums of cash into my bank account, that's all I ask of this place. |
You know Sergeant Van, the Saudis call a Westerner foreigner who works with the Military people and whose salary is high a �Khawajja�. And they know that this �Khawajja� is transferring a large sum of money each month to his bank account. And sometimes, the guy who work in the Bank knows about your salary, and probably may inform his friends about your bank private information.
So, sergeant Van, be careful when going to the bank, always check for any suspicious man following you, especially if he is wearing a black Khamis and half-covering his face with a black sun glasses!  |
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The_Prodiigy

Joined: 01 Apr 2006 Posts: 252
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Van Norden wrote: |
| I really couldn't care less what they call me or what they think of me here. Just keep depositing large sums of cash into my bank account, that's all I ask of this place. |
Hey, Van. That's the spirit. After couple o' months in The Desert that is the defence weapon I used. You gonna make it past the full year, I hope!
Good luck. |
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veiledsentiments

Joined: 20 Feb 2003 Posts: 17644 Location: USA
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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| 007 wrote: |
| the Saudis call a Westerner foreigner who works with the Military people and whose salary is high a �Khawajja�. |
That is standard Egyptian vernacular for 'foreigner' - except, of course, they say 'khawaga.' Every vendor on the street will yell 'ya khawaga' to any foreign face that walks by - male or female. Whether or not it is a borderline insult depends on the education level of the person yelling...
I was commonly called 'doctora' in both Egypt and the Gulf, but I usually corrected them...
VS |
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007

Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 2684 Location: UK/Veteran of the Magic Kingdom
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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| veiledsentiments wrote: |
..That is standard Egyptian vernacular for 'foreigner' - except, of course, they say 'khawaga.' Every vendor on the street will yell 'ya khawaga' to any foreign face that walks by - male or female. Whether or not it is a borderline insult depends on the education level of the person yelling...
I was commonly called 'doctora' in both Egypt and the Gulf, but I usually corrected them... VS |
So, �doctora� VS.
BTW, VS, why the Egyptian students did not call you 'Abla', which is the title used for a woman teacher in a primary/secondary school? The same is used in SA and Syria.
'khawaga� in Egypt is generally for Westerners foreigners only. The other foreigners from other Arab countries are not called �khawaga�, they are called �Arabi�. |
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Queen of Sheba
Joined: 07 May 2006 Posts: 397
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 8:20 pm Post subject: |
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The secret isn�t anything other than the obvious...be respectful, be trustworthy, be cautious with your stereotypes, words and judgmental opinions, and don�t expect to make immediate and lasting friendships over the internet. In person is always better, and easier, and Saudis have stronger Arabic skills and family ties than other Arabs such as the Egyptians, in my humble opinion, so they are less likely to be become close to someone over the internet, or in person, and in particular with someone who isn�t Arab or Muslim.
I have made Saudi friends both inside and outside of Saudi Arabia, and even over the internet, and I am neither Saudi nor Arab. I have been invited by women to dinner, coffee, and weddings by Saudis looking to make friends, some of whom I met online while in Saudi Arabia! I think people who have had such harsh views of Saudis should leave and make their fulus elsewhere. Life is what you make of it, and with a bad attitude and perpetuated stereotypes and misperceptions, you will only attract negative experiences. Besides, I haven�t seen many Americans just reaching out innocently to Arabs or Saudis lately, nor have I seen Arabs or Saudis be treated with great warmth and a welcome, open and loving attitude in any atmosphere, so why should we expect anything other than mistrust until we make the effort and demonstrate that we can be trusted? Sorry, but all this drivel about not being able to make friends with Saudis sounds like a lot of double standards and unrealistic expectations of Saudis placed by arrogant Westerners and their lackies to to me. |
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