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For those who have been brides in Turkey

 
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tarte tatin



Joined: 02 Mar 2007
Posts: 247
Location: Istanbul

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:49 am    Post subject: For those who have been brides in Turkey Reply with quote

My wedding party is this coming Saturday and I notice that my husband (we married two weeks ago) is buying gifts for his uncles and male relatives. Am I expected to present any gifts and if so how many, what sort and to whom?

Also any other information about Turkish weddings will be welcome.

I am dreading it actually!
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tararu



Joined: 07 May 2006
Posts: 494

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 10:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would buy some gifts for his female relatives. You could just restrict it to his mother, grandmothers and sisters. If you want, you could give something little to his blood related Aunts.
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justme



Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 1944
Location: Istanbul

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 10:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gifts should be really small things, I think. Like little house things or other pretty, decorative things. In fact, think slightly chintzy-- small ceramic statuettes, things involving fake flowers, things involving lace...

Things that smell good always work, like hand lotion or candles.

And going by the gifts I'm often given, socks are pretty popular, but I don't know if that's appropriate for this situation. It's just people keep giving me socks.
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tarte tatin



Joined: 02 Mar 2007
Posts: 247
Location: Istanbul

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 12:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks very much. That is helpful, I think I will buy something for my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and two nieces. That should do it.

Yes socks - my brother-in-law gave me some and my father-in-law gave me slippers. The Turks are very concerned about keeping feet warm!

Did you have to have a hennae party the night before? What does that involve?
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dmb



Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 12:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
What does that involve?
henna!

Best of luck on Saturday. Very Happy
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tarte tatin



Joined: 02 Mar 2007
Posts: 247
Location: Istanbul

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks DMB!

For someone who was too shy to go to her own graduation, parading around in a big marshmallow dress in front of 600 strangers is going to be a slight ordeal!

Nevermind, has to be done Smile
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Baba Alex



Joined: 17 Aug 2004
Posts: 2411

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 1:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tarte tatin wrote:
Thanks DMB!

For someone who was too shy to go to her own graduation, parading around in a big marshmallow dress in front of 600 strangers is going to be a slight ordeal!

Nevermind, has to be done Smile


For a small fee, and some free booze, DMB and I can come to your party, get completely trashed and act totally ayip, thus shifting the attention from your good self.
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dmb



Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maalesef, you're on your own baba. I'll be back in blighty getting totally trashed this weekend.well, I wont really as my mum will tell me off, but i will have a few shandies
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tarte tatin



Joined: 02 Mar 2007
Posts: 247
Location: Istanbul

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the support Baba, I just put your idea to my husband and he said very seriously 'ye-s it's possible' with a very worried look on his face, bless him!

To be honest I think the Karadeniz might be too far for even you to come for free booze!

Have a great time in Blighty, DMB, will be there in a couple of weeks myself (thank god!).
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justme



Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 1944
Location: Istanbul

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tarte tatin wrote:
Thanks DMB!

For someone who was too shy to go to her own graduation, parading around in a big marshmallow dress in front of 600 strangers is going to be a slight ordeal!

Nevermind, has to be done Smile


It's quite the ordeal indeed. Fill up on your vitamin C beforehand, as you'll be expected to kiss and shake hands with all those people. They'll give you lots of money and gold though, so it's like getting paid for enduring it...

Henna night is okay-- they'll be a lot of food and gossip (and drinks if you're lucky-- I wasn't, but they made my husband stay at the henna party house with his friend to keep him from getting too trashed at the clearly more fun men's party at a fish restaurant, and we managed to smuggle a bottle of whisky into another room, thank goodness...) and maşallah-ing and singing songs that everyone knows the words to but you don't, and probably doing some of the dances that everyone knows. Your girly in-laws might have to help you out with the henna party outfit-- it's either pajama-ish, or a sexy low-cut top with lots of shiny bits. My MIL dressed me for this, with a trip to the kuaf�r and everything, so I looked like a weird cross between Elvira and Shirley Temple. They'll probably try to make you eat a lot of cake you don't want, and when you turn down the 5th piece they'll all wonder what kind of crazy diet you're on. Eventually the henna will come out, and they'll put it on your hands with some gloves to keep you from getting the henna all over. They also will probably put a spangled scarf over your head and face and dance all around you singing a song that's supposed to make the bride cry because she's sad about leaving her home and fmaily, but since you did it ages ago, you're likely to be unaffected. The idea of this part is is that they won't stop till you cry. They let me off the hook on this one.

Good luck with all of it and congratulations!

PS-- you might as well set aside a space in your closet for slippers because you'll get many many more. I got 2 pairs just for having a baby, and there are close to 20 more unused pairs that seem to be breeding in my closet, most of them too small for my freakishly huge size 39 feet. One pair is cleverly decorated with pictures of slippers.
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tarte tatin



Joined: 02 Mar 2007
Posts: 247
Location: Istanbul

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the info Just Me, forewarned is forearmed!

I really don't want a Turkish hairdresser messing with my hair, from my previous experience they really go wild with the hairspray. I am also going to do my own makeup, having seen pictures of other brides in my husband's family - bright green eyeliner is really not for me!

As you say the money and gold is the main incentive for enduring it all!
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Golightly



Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 877
Location: in the bar, next to the raki

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dmb wrote:
Maalesef, you're on your own baba. I'll be back in blighty getting totally trashed this weekend.well, I wont really as my mum will tell me off, but i will have a few shandies

If you're in the Reading area, drop by for a couple of ales.
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dmb



Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd love to Golighty as I have a few friends there but I don't think I'll have the time to pop over the border. Going on the latest opinion polls it could be my last chance.
(will I need a new passport?)
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