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Why do I feel so terrible?!
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smitten13



Joined: 08 May 2006
Posts: 293
Location: Philippines

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 3:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was told by someone that in a number of schools in the UK, that 'FAILED'
was no longer appropriate as a grading score. The appropriate term now is : DEFERRED SUCCESS.

It would sound consistent with what you are proposing. Shocked
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Teatime of Soul



Joined: 12 Apr 2007
Posts: 905

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 3:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks to the submitter for the link to the discipline site.
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kev7161



Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 5880
Location: Suzhou, China

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think many of us have probably seen this in an email or someplace, but it is apropos to this thread. I wonder if someone could translate it into Chinese and we could pass it out to some of our surlier students? Smile

Quote:
These rules were put forth by Charles Sykes in his book "Dumbing Down America". They have floated through the Internet being attributed to Bill Gates. Most often they appear with 11 rules leaving off three that the original author had written.

Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.

Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.

Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule No. 6: It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)

Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)

Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.
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johnchina



Joined: 24 Apr 2006
Posts: 816

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:25 am    Post subject: none Reply with quote

James S wrote "A local will say that they did great, even if they do not. I will not. I will take an incorrect answer like "I will go shopping yesterday" and get them to build it and understand how and why it can be better, and then, finally, correct."

I teach in precisely the same manner.

I'm not sure whether I made myself entirely clear. It is now POLICY at my so-called "school" NOT to correct mistakes, since doing so will damage the self-esteem of students.
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Ahchoo



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 606
Location: Earth

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kev7161 wrote:
I think many of us have probably seen this in an email or someplace, but it is apropos to this thread. I wonder if someone could translate it into Chinese and we could pass it out to some of our surlier students? Smile

Quote:
These rules were put forth by Charles Sykes in his book "Dumbing Down America". They have floated through the Internet being attributed to Bill Gates. Most often they appear with 11 rules leaving off three that the original author had written.

Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.

Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.

Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule No. 6: It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)

Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)

Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.

Great.
I saw that somewhere a while back, I'd have posted it myself if I'd had it.
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smalls



Joined: 01 Apr 2003
Posts: 143
Location: China

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 11:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I was in the second grade - the teacher had a chair painted red and labeled it 'the hot seat.' Basically, if you were caught screwing off, you had to sit in 'the hot seat.' As you sat there, with your classmates eyes on you, you sweat from the uncomfortable feeling of being called out. And, I am sure, the idea of 'shame' was the intended effect - which seemed to work quite well - can't remember sitting in the chair too often and the idea kept me from acting out.
I have brought trouble makers (quite often some of my brighter students, just not in the traditional sense) to the front to assist (wiping board, handing out papers, collecting papers, etc), tossed them out for five minute breaks, and if really bad - gave them three choices - sing a song in English for the class, ten push-ups, extra homework - and, none too surprising, no one ever chose homework - always push-ups or song.
Have often heard about the shame that is brought upon the child when they are punished in public - but, what about the teacher? Isn't their 'face' the most important in the classroom?
What is the old Chinese saying, kill chicken before a monkey?
I have taken entire classes out for ice cream while at other times have had all heads down on the desk - I definitely believe in positive reinforcement (stickers, smiles, rewards, etc), but punishment and consequences are just as important.
When a child tries and is wrong, I smile, offer encouragement and tell them they will do better next time - try to reinforce the idea of trying.
I remember walking into a middle school - subbing for another teacher - and in the front row, a boy, probably about 16, leaned back in his chair and put his bare feet up on the desk. Before I knew what I was doing, I whacked them off with a small paperback workbook. The teachers in the back moved nervously, and a teacher to my side whispered, 'he just lost face.' While, to this day, I regret having lost my temper like I did, but was baffled by the fact that none saw his behavior as allowing the teacher to lose face.
In my opinion, a little tough love, when giving out in proper measures can go a long way.
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Shan-Shan



Joined: 28 Aug 2003
Posts: 1074
Location: electric pastures

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I remember walking into a middle school - subbing for another teacher - and in the front row, a boy, probably about 16, leaned back in his chair and put his bare feet up on the desk. Before I knew what I was doing, I whacked them off with a small paperback workbook. The teachers in the back moved nervously, and a teacher to my side whispered, 'he just lost face.' While, to this day, I regret having lost my temper like I did, but was baffled by the fact that none saw his behavior as allowing the teacher to lose face.


Regret still lingering for such an innocuous action? If the little weed wouldn't put his feet on the ground after being told to (not begged, entreated or promised a happy meal for listening to teacher), a soft nudge from a book no one uses hardly seems barbaric. The student's behaviour, however, in this case does.

The instructors in this particular episode sound especially patsy. Nervous about one student's "face"? Chinese teachers have never appeared so spineless.

I see images of CTs (and FTs fearful of losing 4000RMB a month jobs) now playing "this little piggy" with 16 year olds in between bouts of wretching after having licked their little charges feet clean of outdoor spit and shiit.

But at least alll "face" worthy of retaining "face" remains well in place.
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beck's



Joined: 06 Apr 2003
Posts: 426

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 12:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

To the O.P. I wouldn't feel too badly about doing what you did to the boys. I wouldn't go overboard with that type of punishment though. It won't work if done over and over again.

I have been a teacher for over thirty years. I am now teaching senior English in a suburban Canadian school. The junior high section of the school is so out of control that the Vice Principal sends the misbehaving students to the senior teachers to discipline. They are running around the halls screaming. I took one 12 year old kid into my class the other day because he was out of control. I yelled at him in front of my senior students and made him sit at the back of the class facing the wall. It was an extreme measure but this kid was literally destroying his junior high class. It worked. He won'tbe back again soon.

What I sometimes do is get the misbehavors to copy a handout that I give them called, "How to succeed in college." That way if the parents call and complain that I am too harsh I can tell them that I am trying to teach their kid how to be successful in college. It's punishment and education all in one. Mostly it works.
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james s



Joined: 07 Feb 2007
Posts: 676
Location: Raincity

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

...

Last edited by james s on Sat Nov 24, 2007 1:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Shan-Shan



Joined: 28 Aug 2003
Posts: 1074
Location: electric pastures

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If using a rolled up, soft covered textbook to gently "tap" said student's feet could result in termination, then I agree such a response would be inappropriate.

I'm looking at the "foot on desk" situation from my current teaching perspective: students are university aged, and there is no principal's office. I also imagine that a 23 year old "man" complaining that the teacher hit his feet with a soft book would not lead to my dismissal.

I never use physical intimidation against my students either. Instead, a loud "bang" on my desk gets them to shut up; forced relocation with the girls at the front also helps in getting the "simply taking up space" boys at the back to pay attention and learn something.

Making sarcastic and mildly deriding comments in Chinese to help untangle fingers tangled up in cellphone number pads works wonders as well.

When monkey speak people speak, people listen.
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eslstudies



Joined: 17 Dec 2006
Posts: 1061
Location: East of Aden

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Old Chinese saying: Kill the rooster to frighten the monkey. If any student's [of any culture] behaviour during entry to a class, or while the class is yet to begin, is out of line, I "invite" the student outside, point out the inappropriateness of what they've done - or rather get them to describe it - then ask them to re-enter and get ready for class in the proper manner.

The other students sit up and take note. I rarely need to do this more than once. "Face" isn't a reason: its an excuse.

Kill the rooster.

As for this "no-fail" debate: in Australian high schools we give a percentage and an A-E grade, with a U reserved for under 30%. 50% will win a C grade, as will 69%. Nonsense? Dead right. However, parents and students tend to focus on the percentage.
Many of my Chinese ESL students bombed out big-time, a first for them. Daddy's money couldn't help them, and for the first time in 18 years they were going to have to be personally accountable for their actions.
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vikdk



Joined: 25 Jun 2003
Posts: 1676

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 3:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This debate has made me wonder how new FT's with no knowledge of Chinese, who have been given no Chinese teaching assistance, and have been pushed into those strictly English only classroom environments, which have been made rather comical because the their students don't understand English (the wondrous world of English emersion) - cope with the problem of explaining they won't tolerate bad behavior - and what are the rules of their classroom????

Do they have a flashcard of a thunderbolt, or indeed for the very worse classes a chainsaw - or is it a simple matter of bridging the language barrier by using threatening fists or throwing a chair body language? I suppose in such circumstances miming going crazy (throwing a few bodies outside or parading them infront of the audience) or carrying on and attempting to teach are the only options - no wonder many Chinese students look forward to the FT hour as a great source of entertainment Laughing
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latefordinner



Joined: 19 Aug 2003
Posts: 973

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 2:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

vikdk, that was a good post. Won't always agree with you, but yes it does make one wonder <wink>.
But of course there will always be a minor point or two of disagreement.
Quote:
because the their students don't understand English (the wondrous world of English emersion)
In my own brief experience, the seeds of the students' failings are usually sown long before the foreign teacher steps into the classroom, and have less to do with L2 immersion theory or practice than L1 preparation, explanation and testing. Just my pov.
However you slice it or dice it though, sometimes just walking into a classroom is a no-win proposition. Part of the fun of teaching.
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vikdk



Joined: 25 Jun 2003
Posts: 1676

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 3:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
However you slice it or dice it though, sometimes just walking into a classroom is a no-win proposition. Part of the fun of teaching.

Also part of the fun of being a student - I know I often used to be a classroom devil - and I usually knew in whose classes I was going to let rip. Being thrown out or made to stand up in front of the class was usually all part of the riot Laughing
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7969



Joined: 26 Mar 2003
Posts: 5782
Location: Coastal Guangdong

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 5:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

smitten13 wrote:
I was told by someone that in a number of schools in the UK, that 'FAILED' was no longer appropriate as a grading score. The appropriate term now is : DEFERRED SUCCESS.

It would sound consistent with what you are proposing. Shocked


this proposal for "deferred success" was brought up in the UK a couple of years ago.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article545836.ece

from the article:

Quote:
But the idea was denounced as �politically correct madness� by Suzanna Proud, 28, a mother of two. �When you apply for university they are hardly going to say, �Well you have had some deferred success so we�ll let you in�.


simply put, this proposal for "deferred success" was one of the most ridiculous ideas i've ever heard of, but not surprised someone thought of it.
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