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denise · Joined: 23 Apr 2003 Posts: 3419 Location: finally home-ish

I teach in Oman. Several weeks back, a student snapped his fingers at me to get my attention. I was shocked and reacted accordingly, joking with him (at this point it was only a joke!) that I was not a dog or a servant and that he shouldn't try to summon me that way. Things went down hill from there... mostly just scowls until yesterday, when, on his way out of class, he threw a pencil at me!! I went straight to the Head of Department, who basically said, "Yeah, some of them are like that." I'm new to Oman and the Gulf, but what happened to the stereotypical "lovely Omanis"???? Do things like this happen elsewhere? I hope it's not just me! Sad

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Sheikh Inal Ovar · Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 1208 Location: Melo Drama School

Welcome to the Gulf ... just be thankful your head of department didn't discipline you for driving your students to such behaviour ...

Do I perceive a few clouds gathering over that TEFL induced state of euphoria ...

Sheikh Inal Ovar · Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 1208 Location: Melo Drama School

Oh and when it comes to teacher evaluation day ... just give that one a few crayons and something to colour in ...

Stephen Jones · Joined: 21 Feb 2003 Posts: 4124

Actually snapping the fingers to call somebody's attention is very common here, and not necessarily a sign of disrespect.

It's quite a useful custom actually.

Cleopatra · Posted: Sun May 06, 2007 12:47 pm Post subject:

I've not found students to be overtly rude here in KSA - though it does occasionally happen. What is more common is that students communicate what we might consider 'disrespect' through actions, rather than gestures. The way in which they expect teachers to be at their beck and call at any time of the day (including when you are biting into a sandwich), the way they chat casually to their friends when you (or anyone else) is speaking, they way they think they can submit their work well after the due date and still have it credited to their final report etc etc.

That said, I don't think any of the above is a serious problem unless you allow it to be. It's extremely important to set very clear boundaries with students here, much as you would if you were dealing with small children - which in a psychological sense, of course, is exactly who you are dealing with. I've found that once I let the students know who is boss (me, in case you were wondering) and simply refuse to, for example, accept late work or see students at a time inconvenient to me, they learn to adapt to my ways and in the long term are actually quite grateful to me for 'making' them discipline themselves a bit more.

007 · Posted: Sun May 06, 2007 1:02 pm Post subject: Re: rude students?!?

cmp45 · Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Posts: 1475 Location: KSA

Consider your self lucky, if finger snapping is your only behavioral problem with the students. As other posters have stated this is mainly a cultural thing and agree it should not be construed as disrespectful. Although it is irritating, the manner in which you responded to the incident may have contributed to the student's rude retort. I think this can be resolved if you explain that in "your" culture finger snapping is a sign of disrespect, let them know how you want to be addressed and give the students time to adjust. Remember such cultural habits are hard to change. You may want to adjust your thinking about it as well.

Sheikh Inal Ovar · Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 1208 Location: Melo Drama School

Many of you seem to have forgotten that a pencil was also tossed ...

... and as for the fingers being snapped, 007 - before you patronise Denise any further - the clicking of fingers is not seen as acceptable by all ... several of my students have informed me that they consider any finger clicking action by their fellow students to be inappropriate behaviour for the classroom ...

denise · Joined: 23 Apr 2003 Posts: 3419 Location: finally home-ish

The pencil incident was really what prompted me to act, although I've heard mixed replies about whether finger snapping is, in fact, rude. It seems to be common and acceptable in some regions and not in others. And of course I can accept that I am in a different culture. (No miniskirts, make-up, or public displays of affection for me! I am not that clueless!) I assume the way I handled it didn't help, which is why I posted the problem here--this being a forum for giving and receiving advice. I am just happy that the Head of Department is on my side on this, and not insinuating that it was my fault. I'll just let it be a learning experience and do better next semester, when I know I won't have to see that student again.

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eha · Joined: 26 May 2005 Posts: 355 Location: ME

When I first started teaching in the Middle East, I checked out several of these 'gestures' , before losing my rag over something that was no big deal. I checked them out with the more reliable students, and invariably found that these gestures are only acceptable from one of 'superior' status, to someone s/he regards as of low status--- like a maid or other servant. I've asked these reliable students (students who DON"T use these gestures) in several different countries, and invariably, I've received the answer that these gestures are NOT suitable from student to teacher. Watch them with high-status locals; do they behave the same way? I've been known to tell students that what's good enough for the Dean/ President, etc is good enough for me. 'Fraid I don't regard myself as 'low-status', no matter how anyone else regards me. If you're ready to accept demeaning behaviour, chances are you'll get it. And there's also a large element of 'these-foreigners-are-idiots-they-let-you-insult-them-to-their-face' adolescent smart-aleckry involved too. Believe me, when it comes to good manners, there aren't that many differences between cultures.

sheikh radlinrol · Joined: 30 Jan 2007 Posts: 1222 Location: Spain

I don't think Gulf Arabs are rude. The first time I went to the Gulf I was only told not to show the soles of my shoes and not to approach the local women. Why can't companies which recruit people and then send them to countries such as Kuwait, KSA provide detailed guidance about things such as those brought up by the OP?

Cleopatra · Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 8:58 am Post subject:

dmb · Joined: 12 Feb 2003 Posts: 8397

Cleopatra · Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 2:56 pm Post subject:

cmp45 · Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Posts: 1475 Location: KSA

Granted having some sort of orientation before hand would be helpful prior to relocating to the region, I also think a teacher is responsible to research and read up on the proposed destination before hand. There are plenty of websites that are available for a newbie to read up and at least have some inkling as to what they can expect. The sad truth as you mentioned is muddling through it all by trial and error; seems to be the way most people have learned about appropriate behavior in a new cultural setting.