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nomadder
Joined: 15 Feb 2003
Posts: 709
Location: Somewherebetweenhereandthere
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 Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:28 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for the interesting stories. Hey Denise, are you dating an Omani(is that the term?) or another English teacher?
It's interesting because I was one of those who never really fit in to my home town. Add to that an outward looking personality-went on an exchange program at 14 and the fact that I'm creative-so not status quo or follow the program. I would've thought I'd go for a foreign(to me) type but after travelling and living abroad and getting the dope on many different types, I think that if there's any serious guy he'll be local. I could almost pinpoint a few places on the map. I can rule out most of my country in fact except those rare exception types that don't fit in to where they came from.
It's interesting how it works. I'm so in to British entertainment/really like England yet having met many guys from there, I can't see how it would ever work. I'm Canadian and presumably an American might be a possibility but from what I've seen I think a European would work better. Strange that. We are similar and yet I've never been remotely attracted to an American and that includes "movie stars"  .
Truth is I'm kinda hoping an ex will become free again. One of those go around the world and come back to square one kind of stories. I love different yet when it comes to relationships I think I kind of need the same. Who knew? Finally liking someone my own age and from my culture is a relief-he'll get the references to things |
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denise
Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 3419
Location: finally home-ish
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| Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 4:06 am Post subject: |
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I'm dating another teacher.
Dating the locals doesn't really happen here, and I'm not interested anyway.
d |
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JZer
Joined: 16 Jan 2005
Posts: 3898
Location: Pittsburgh
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:38 pm Post subject: |
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| No children from this union, which is probably for the best since now, 6 years on, we're divorcing. |
Guy Courchesne, you are a great guy. I hope that everything works out for the best. |
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JZer
Joined: 16 Jan 2005
Posts: 3898
Location: Pittsburgh
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:42 pm Post subject: |
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I think I might have made a conscious decision.
I majored in Latin American Studies and studied abroad in Chile in university. And I came back from Chile with a definate interest in having a Latin American partner. But shortly after my return to the US I met my ex (not latin in the least) and started what was to be a 5 year relationship. I thought, oh well, guess it wasn't in the cards. When we broke up I made a bee line back to Latin America. Mostly because I missed the language and culture and was not looking for a new relationship right away. But they always seem to find you when your not looking. The rest is history. |
This is interesting since I mainly think about marrying a foreigner. I wonder if it is a good idea or not but when living in another country it seems like marrying a foreigner is a distinct possibility. Not to mention that I plan on spending 4 more years in Korea and not many foreigners live in Korea for four years or more.
I plan to do an MA in Korean Studies or Korean history. The one draw back is that I plan to move back to the US for a PhD. Might be difficult if I someday marry a local who cannot speak English well. |
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JZer
Joined: 16 Jan 2005
Posts: 3898
Location: Pittsburgh
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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| No children from this union, which is probably for the best since now, 6 years on, we're divorcing. |
Guy, it is also nice to see that you have no problem sharing such personal experiences with others. You never know who you might help by sharing such intimate experiences. |
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basiltherat
Joined: 04 Oct 2003
Posts: 952
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Might be difficult if I someday marry a local who cannot speak English well. |
interesting. actually, this is a small problem we are still having. My wife and I have been married for 25 years; the last 7 of which she has spent in England but she still struggles with English (shame on me, you're thinking). She gets by but I always have to 'be there / around' , for example, when it comes to arranging important things like speaking to officialdom. I think its important that you stress to your partner that if he / she doesn't speak English well, that he / she will make a concerted effort to do so especially if eventually you are both going to end up living in your particular English-speaking country.
In my case, im probably partly to blame but, you know, you can lead a horse to water but ........ you get my drift.
best
basil |
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MELEE
Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Posts: 2583
Location: The Mexican Hinterland
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:58 pm Post subject: |
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| JZer wrote: |
The one draw back is that I plan to move back to the US for a PhD. Might be difficult if I someday marry a local who cannot speak English well. |
You'd be surprised how motivated you become to learn a language when it's your spouce's language. My husband could barely put two words together in English when I met him. Now his English is very good. Of course there are other factors at play as well. He was a student in a program where English was a requirement, so he had English classes 5 days a week for a number of years (native speaker teachers) And he has that special gregariousness that makes for a good language learner. While studying for his MA in Mathematics at least 90% of the books he used were in English. But our relationship gave him an edge as an English learner, it allowed him to be able to socialize with English speakers and the idea of not having any means with which to communicate with my parents also helped motivate him.
EDIT TO ADD,
Basil, you posted while I was writing my message! We've never lived in an English speaking environment, but we live in a place where every single person we met jumps to the conculsion that we met in the US, because it is an area of very heavy migration. I think personality plays a big role in a persons success as a language learner, and my husband happens to have the outgoing personality that good language learners often have.
Last edited by MELEE on Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:04 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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JZer
Joined: 16 Jan 2005
Posts: 3898
Location: Pittsburgh
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:01 pm Post subject: |
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| But our relationship gave him an edge as an English learner, it allowed him to be able to socialize with English speakers and the idea of not having any means with which to communicate with my parents also helped motivate him. |
Which is what appalls me with some foreign men in Korean married to Koreans. They do not even bother to learn Korean to mingle with their wives family. Seems to me that they don't care so much about their wife. |
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JZer
Joined: 16 Jan 2005
Posts: 3898
Location: Pittsburgh
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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| interesting. actually, this is a small problem we are still having. |
basiltherat, did you communicate in her language while living in other countries? |
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JZer
Joined: 16 Jan 2005
Posts: 3898
Location: Pittsburgh
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:05 pm Post subject: |
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| I think personality plays a big role in a persons success as a language learner, and my husband happens to have the outgoing personality that good language learners often have. |
Interesting, I see many foreigners in Korea who learn the basics but never learn to speak Korean because they give up when Koreans talk back to them in English. Koreans seem to feel they must try out their limited English on every foreigner so this turns off some foreigners and they quit. This phenomenon is quite disturbing to me. |
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basiltherat
Joined: 04 Oct 2003
Posts: 952
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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| did you communicate in her language while living in other countries? |
regretably, yes, so as i said, im partially to blame for the circumstances that have arisen. in hindsight, perhaps it would have been better to have had days of english and days of indonesian or some other arrangement while living in jakarta. On the other hand, as much as i love and respect her, i cant help thinking that she simply doesn't have the 'talent' for languages. Her real talent, it seems, lies in writing - in indonesian language, naturally.
best
basil
| Quote: |
| I think personality plays a big role in a persons success as a language learner |
Yes, I agree. It certainly goes a long way. Courage is key, too. |
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Lynn
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 696
Location: in between
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:45 pm Post subject: |
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| It just happened. On my very first day of college the cutest boy I had ever seen walked into the classroom. The rest is history. |
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Guy Courchesne
Joined: 10 Mar 2003
Posts: 9650
Location: Mexico City
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:46 pm Post subject: |
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| JZer wrote: |
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| No children from this union, which is probably for the best since now, 6 years on, we're divorcing. |
Guy, it is also nice to see that you have no problem sharing such personal experiences with others. You never know who you might help by sharing such intimate experiences. |
Thanks for the support everybody. Getting married/getting divorced abroad is certainly a tricky thing; emotionally, legally, technically, etc. I can't imagine how this would work when there are children involved. Anyone else experience divorce and having children while abroad? |
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nickpellatt
Joined: 08 Dec 2006
Posts: 1522
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 4:25 am Post subject: |
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Best wishes to Guy...and as said...thanks for sharing.
I dont have an experience to share Im afraid. But as someone in China, and hoping to be here for some time. I would seriously consider, in fact I feel I would probably like to, marry someone Chinese.
I have had numerous damaging relationships in the UK, and they have cost me lots emotionally and financially, and I guess to some degree, they are also the reason I am here!
Otherwise at 38 I should just be getting on with a middle management career in the UK and beinbg concerned with house prices and getting a conservatory built.
Everyone has spoken about the difficulties of multi-cultural marraige..can anyone talk about the benefits of them...surely there must be those too |
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naturegirl321
Joined: 04 May 2003
Posts: 9041
Location: home sweet home
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 4:53 am Post subject: |
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| denise wrote: |
| Thankfully I have found a wonderful guy here, so now I have a reason to stay!. |
That would make another interesting topic, those who have married teachers while abroad.
Hope things work out for you enise, if you get married, you'll both have married foreigners |
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