Job Discussion Forums

[Borealis]

When I first tried to mix the students in my class they were reluctant, though some of the braver ones tried. As many of them were hoping to go to Australia to do postgraduate study I reminded them this was a good way to practise being in mixed groups. That helped a little but some of the more conservative ones were still reluctant. When their manager (Omani) came by to check on how they were doing I asked his advice on this issue. He marched into the classroom and I heard him say, "Move! Now!" Not quite how I would have handled it but when I walked into the classroom they were all sitting in mixed groups and grinning. They said, "We're in Australia now teacher!" And the whole class, including the manager burst out laughing at my startled face. Later, some of them told me the experience had given them more confidence in their ability to handle studying abroad. Some mentioned to their families what had happened and reported family approval of this "modern innovation". A few others wisely kept it from their fathers.
B

[zaylahis]

Thanks Borealis. I remember reading somewhere and saw on TV, one of the ways some Arab countries get over this issue when female leaders visit or women journalists had to interview men wthey were made an honorary male. I suppose a good way would be to say imagine you are in Australia or some place else. Great technique!

[veiledsentiments]

I'd think that this very much depends on the group and where you are teaching. The vast majority of Omani students will never leave Oman to study anywhere. I would take great care in doing anything like this until very late in the first semester or even until the second. Plus I would start with groups... and still avoid pair work...

VS

[trapezius]

Very interesting thread for me, even though I have never been to Oman.

[zaylahis]

I was wondering too about Ibadhi Muslims. Never heard of them so could be connfined to Oman. I know there are two sects in Islam: Sunni and Shia. And within the Sunni there are the four Imams: Maliki, Hambali, Hanafi and Shafii. The Shafii are the strictest but we have no problems with mixing sexes in classroom setting. The interviewer thought that having women teachers who are Muslims would help female students feel more comfortable with the boys. Doesn't look like it though at college level especially if it is outside the capital.

[veiledsentiments]

The Ibadhi are a small sect which seems these days to be only found in Oman and I believe it is in North Africa... Libya (?). It is a Sunni sect.

With the influx of tourism and the effects of time and moderation, it is likely changing, but when I first arrived in Oman in the late 80's, you could walk around the souq in Mattrah or Seeb and no one would look at you. Eyes would always be lowered. It really made it pleasant to shop after the excessive attention of Cairo - my previous location. Of course, they did look, but they were very discreet and if you caught them, they would be embarrassed. Even the subcontinentals, whose traditions are completely different followed the 'rules.'

It was real culture shock coming from Cairo... along with the fact that in Oman you never heard anyone raise their voice... or saw anyone gesture widely as they spoke. So much for the outsiders stereotype that "all these Arab countries are the same."

[Tarka_littleotter]

Oh God VS you should try coming back now!! I HATE going anywhere BECAUSE of all the staring I get. It's so damned RUDE!
The first year I was here I just kept my head down and got on with whatever it was I was trying to do but I'm just fed up of being "respectful" now when people see fit to video me on their mobiles as I'm trying to do my weekly shopping in Lulu. I could understand it if I was wearing shorts and a bikini top, but in baggy trousers and a loose shirt I hardly see myself as attractive! It really pees me off. NOw, if I see someone staring at me or following me I turn around and do the same. And shout "WHAT????" "What do you want?????" And numerous other things in Arabic which translate into "go away" "my husband is a very angry man, go away or he'll beat you" and other such things. (And no, I'm not married!)

It really does drive me MAD.

VS you really should come back and see how much it's changed! I think you'd be disappointed.

[zaylahis]

VS...I met an Omani couple here and they told me that Ibadhi Muslims are neither Sunni nor Shia. The only difference is between them and the Sunnis are in little gestures during prayer. I have decided against going to Oman as they refuse to tell me where I will be posted.

And Tarka, when I was in Turkey, my kids and I were also stared at. But we didn't feel any malevolence or discrimination.

Interestingly when we went to crab shack on the Atlantic coast of the USA we were also stared at.....and were told that everything on the menu was finished.( at 8pm???)...

Maybe you should take their pictures with your handphone while they film you.

[eha]

I wouldn't put it quite as strongly as Tarka, but it's my impression also that things here are changing rapidly. That situation described by VS sounds like some kind of Utopia! Eyes lowered, voices not raised, etc. I don't have such a strong reaction to the staring, maybe because I've been a foreigner in so many societies for so many years that I'm no longer aware of it. But there are other attitudes and behaviours that crop up, even in the workplace, that simply do not jibe with the benevolent image suggested by this description--- and it may be quite likely that this has been caused by the influence of the media. But it's still a fact.
VS, perhaps the Middle East you recall is no longer the place we're experiencing.

[Duffy]

Zaylahis,

My wife and I taught in both Denizili and Fethiye. There was no "Staring" like you get here in Oman and other ME countries.

Don't know where you were working but in both of our locations, one a very business orientated city (Denizili)and the other (Fethiye) a more touristic location. My wife never, ever had the kind of treatment you described.

In fact, I can honestly say I have never seen that kind of attention being shown, well, except by just-post pubescent boys, anywhere in Turkey.

We think that with my wife having true blonde hair,(not that common in Turkey), and a British accent, the locals were a bit more interested than usual. Not that ladies with other hair colours should not be stared at,--- OMG!!! I'm getting into PC now!!!

End Post!!

Duffy

[veiledsentiments]

I suspect that one's reaction to the staring the Gulf depends on your previous experience. I started in Egypt, and anyone who has spent time there knows what that means. There it is not only the constant staring, but also the cat calls and comments. My three years rather inoculated me against this sort of activity and I had learned to ignore it. And I hadn't realized how bad it could really be until I went to India. In Egypt, it was only the men, but in India, it is every person of every age and sex!!

As with so many things, all is relative. And yes, it had changed for the worse between my first job in Oman and my last job. The invasion of modernity and tourism has never improved a culture. Of course, I always lived in Muscat where they were more used to foreigners.

Just ignore it. You will never change it, and it is harmless. Life is too short to get obsessive about things like this. In the whole scheme of world and life problems, the generally male proclivity to stare is just not that big a deal. Let the sad pitiful creature stare while you pretend that they are as unimportant and insignificant they are... rather like roaches or slugs.

zaylahis, for purposes of this board and its readers who have only heard of Shia and Sunni, I would say that they are Sunni. Small prayer gestures do not make a new branch to me. When you look at the belief structure of Islam (or Christianity), there are basically two branches - those who followed Ali and those who didn't. Within each branch there are sects who have different rituals. But, when it comes to religion, people do like to split hairs. Small groups in particular like to consider themselves special, and to outsiders like us, it really doesn't matter except in the most general way.

VS

[007]

[zaylahis]

Duffy, I was in Ayvalik and Istanbul in the 90s. My kids and I were stared at even though we are not blond nor blue-eyed but it never bothered us. We were just yabanci.

Things may have changed

Thank you 007....The couple I know from Oman told me that they do not fold their arms and do not raise one finger during the tahiyatul awal and akhir. Otherwise everything is the same.

Muslims are Muslims whether Shia or Sunni because the essence is that Muslims believe in the one god and that Muhammad s.a.w. is the Seal of the Prophets.

Just didn't want to get into a debate about Islam so I kept it short.

[veiledsentiments]

I followed the link on the message andsee that the host for my image has gone out of business. This is the second time that my little lamp has disappeared. Perhaps someday I will find it again.

I don't think that there was ever any 'debate.' For the purposes of this board of mostly non-Muslims, it is always best to keep it simple.

VS

[007]