Job Discussion Forums

miski · Joined: 04 Jul 2007 Posts: 298 Location: Kuwait

Deleted to avoid my 'cover ' being blown.........

MELEE · Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:18 pm Post subject:

me: "What are you doing for Christmas vacation?" (in a speaking exam held just before vacation)
student: "I'm peeing." (clear as a bell, no heavy accent. I have no idea what she wanted to say, because in order to keep it together the co-examiner and I hurried on to the next topic.)

miski · Joined: 04 Jul 2007 Posts: 298 Location: Kuwait

That's alright- I actually had a thirteen year old really pee in the class one time. The other girls looked at her, the floor, the dripping chair, me, I said re read the text, come this way my dear, and we all carried on as normal........

andrew_gz · Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 502 Location: Reborn in the PRC

I was modeling this Q&A exercise I wanted my charges to do when one female student in all earnestness asked me, "How long are you?".

It cracked me up all the more when I realized that some of the teen-aged students knew why I couldn't help laughing.

As you have probably guessed, she wanted to know my height.

zorro (3) · Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 202

Drilling 5 year olds can and can't. Can was fine, but can't has unfortunate similarities to a not very popular word.

Having 12 five year olds chanting c*nt at you is disconcerting at the best of times.

I was only trying to do my job! They didn't have to get personal.

soapdodger · Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 203

Czech and Slovak students tend to fall around at the mention of "curvy" and "peaches" because of their close resemblance to rather strong obscenities. Another funny one is that Czechs and Slovaks have a word "kokot" ( roughly "w****r), which doesn't exist in Polish. Travelling by train from Budapest, about 10 minutes before you reach Krakow there is a small place with a station called Kokotow. Slovaks pee themselves when they see this!!

Seibu · Joined: 29 Nov 2006 Posts: 65

One of my faves from Japan.....

'Mr. Takahashi, what are your hobbies?'

"Incest."

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, I really like the smell of incest."

"Sir, I think you mean incense."

Sef · Joined: 26 Mar 2007 Posts: 74 Location: UK

I did get a fit of the giggles in front of a Chinese class when I asked a guy what he did at the weekend and he said 'I spent all weekend playing with my room-mate.'

Then last week I was teaching linking sounds to my Russian students and when I demo'd 'happy about' by saying 'ha-pee-ya-bout' they all fell about laughing. Apparently the 'ya-bout' sounds like the Russian for *beep* but I can't find it in any dictionaries to confirm that.

Dragonlady · Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 11:04 pm Post subject:

deleted

out dated

rusmeister · Joined: 15 Jun 2006 Posts: 867 Location: Russia

Kurochan · Joined: 01 Mar 2003 Posts: 944 Location: China

One day in class we were talking about what we do and don't like to eat, and one guy (a pretty effeminate guy, actually), raised his hand and said, "Teacher, my big brother doesn't like c()ck." I was like, "What?!?" He continued, "He was once hurt by my grandfather's big c()ck." I asked if his grandfather was a farmer, and thank goodness he was. My student said that he raised many c0cks on his farm, and one day his brother was pecked by one. I explained the second meaning of the word to them (they're grad students, so I didn't have to worry about it being inappropriate), and advised them to say rooster instead.

Golightly · Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 10:55 am Post subject:

From a Chinese student, giving a presentation on a country description:
'China is in the shape of a big red c.0ck'...
From a class of six year old Koreans, singing songs:
'If you happy and you know it, crap your pants...'
From a wide-eyed, innocent 16-yr-old Turkish girl, when describing her hobbies:
'I walk the streets with boy and I lick c.0ck'
(I like walking around with my boyfriend and I like coke)

John Hall · Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 2:41 am Post subject:

In a business English class, one female student was telling another female student about her company's dress code. She said something like this:

"When you work here, you can wear a suite. Is good wear shoes. No sandals. And make sure to wear panties."

Shocked

She meant to say panty hose! I explained the difference, and the other student remarked that it is not usual for Costa Rican women to do the Britney Spears thing!

teachwrite · Joined: 17 Sep 2007 Posts: 40 Location: Milky Way

While teaching colors and clothing in Guatemala, I had each student form a sentence about another student. I kept cracking up everytime someone said "my shi_t is green, her shi_t is yellow." I had to explain just how crucial that "r" sound really is.

=)

MG

Songbird · Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 12:34 am Post subject:

Last term in writing (I'm in China) I asked the students to write a short summary of what they did on the holiday just gone. One boy wrote (these are college students)- 'All my friends had gone home and there was no one to play with, so I played with myself'.

It took a VERY long time to get across to him why this was very inappropriate.

He felt so embarrassed, especially as I, a female, telling him, a guy.....

Classic.