Job Discussion Forums

[Porlestone]

I wrote a post discussing the incessant and ceaseless nagging behavior by people - overwhelmingly males - all along the streets and in stores anywhere you go in Vietnam. In the countryside they take it even further, grabbing at your most sensitive body parts. This comes almost completely from males here and it has a sort of 'apparentness' to it that shows there are hidden issues there. It's very discomforting, I find many males here all up on me. This is not to mention how much attention it attracts when you chat any females here. Speaking of which put on an excessively demure act.

You can't walk 10 seconds down any street at any time of day and not have people jumping out at you, up in your face, shouting and laughing, causing near accidents (it gets worse when traffic picks up), irritating you and laughing about it. This is a real issue for living in Vietnam, I think it should be left here for anyone to see. Why delete it? It's truely a part of the daily experience here.

[Gordon]

How are you dressed? Are you a male or female?
I just got back from Vietnam and never witnessed or experienced anything you described. Yeah, they are a bit "in yer face" but nothing too dramatic.
I think attitude and appearance goes a long way.

[Cyan]

The touching is really out of control Porlestone, I think you hit the nail on the head if you can excuse the use of a clich�!

[Porlestone]

Especially because it's all from males. The way they sloppily fall into you, rub against you, stare over at you, for starters. (I can't explain more about it or it's likely to get deleted.) You'll notice that the women here do the opposite.

Gordon - male. In reply, I think that people visiting here for short term, while finding it mildly irritating, are much more likely to dismiss said behavior as "individual" or "momentary." To brush it off, forget it. For someone living long term and making a life, it all factors into a final equation, and as a persistent daily experience it becomes clear who the people are and why they do it. It's like the pieces of the puzzle come together and "reasons" and meanings become clearer. It's no longer dismissable as random accidents.

[Gordon]

[Galileo]

That's the good thing about driving a motorbike. People don't really have much of a chance to harass you when you are zooming by on your motorbike. I'll often choose to go by motorbike even if I could reach a place within a few minutes on foot. Putting up with the same things again and again can get extremely irritating after you've been here a while.

[chipy66]

i walk around the streets almost every day and very rarely have any problems. Yes sometimes people pay more attention to you or try and talk to you, but personally in two years i have never had a problem. On several occasions locals have invited me to drink with them when i was walking around.
I guess it all depends on how sensitive a person you are.

[travelgoddess]

I was just in Hanoi, Vietnam for 10 months teaching and some of my friends stared at me in disbelief when I would tell them something like this that would happen to me. (so, it doesnt happen to everyone) I am female, mid-30's and wore conservative, teaching style clothes most of the time. Nonetheless, men would a lot of times walk by too close, grabb my butt or boobs (less common, but not uncommon), and many times say things with seductive eyes (didnt know enough Vietnamese to know if what they were saying was crude, but sometimes you dont need a translation!). My personal favorite was the constant "boom boom boom" (sex) that the xeom (motorcycle taxi) men near my apartment would say (in English!) when I walked by at night.

Having said that, the women were not shy about grabbing elbows, arms, hands, etc to get attention either. its a very touchy, feely society, something I ultimately needed to part with for my own comfort.

Personally, I ended up riding a bicycle for a lot of my time there, because it was safer than walking and there was less chance for any of the above. There were still local bikers that would ride way too close and try to talk to me, but at least they werent grabbin.


Overall, I just kept telling myself that they are a very homogonous (sp?) society and they arent that used to seeing folks who are different than them. Personally, I wouldnt start grabbing at someone who is different, but I didnt grow up in Vietnam either.

Also, I knew I didnt want to be there long term, so I kept that in mind. And overall, as quirky and hard to read as the Vietnamese were, in general, they had a light, humorous side that made it more tolerable than the last Asian country I lived in, Taiwan.

[ChuckECheese]

You must be a beautiful woman.

I have noticed that VNese aren't shy about telling that you are beautiful/handsome.

Beauty and attractiveness is like a magnet to VNese.

I rather enjoyed all the attention when I was there.

[travelgoddess]

It felt more like curosity than complimentary, but either way, it felt very invasive.

[Galileo]

Before I learned to drive a motorbike gay guys would sometimes approach me, grab me inappropriately, and make their intentions very clear.

MOD EDIT

[Henry_Cowell]

[vietnamalien]

So Vietnam females are the same as Thais in bars they like to touch you up pretty heavily??

[vietnamalien]