Job Discussion Forums

[fat_chris]

When I was in China, I used the strategy of responding to the same questions with cryptic answers. I love confusing the Chinese...and it's damned easy to do too!

--How old are you?
--I'm as old as my tongue and a few years older than my teeth.

--Can you use chopsticks?
--Nope, I can't. I have been in China for two years and haven't eaten at all. Boy, am I hungry!

--Can you read Chinese?
--Can I read it? Heck, I invented the script! C'mere, let me teach you some Chinese!

--Do you have a Chinese girlfriend?
--One? No, I have several! One in Dalian, one in Shanghai, one in.... (OK, this one really backfired as I said this to a headmaster and his cronies--since then whenever I met with them for a baijiu banquet that was the joke that never got old--"Mr. Tai, ha ha, you have many girlfriends, ha ha, one in Dalian, one in Shanghai, one in...").

The Chinese are to my liking because the same jokes never get old and they tell the same damned ones over and over--kinda like I do.

[markle]

[Celeste]

When my elementary school students ask me how old I am, I generally respond "hyaku sai desu" (I'm a hundred). This gets them giggling and then their regular homeroom teacher will generally explain to them that they shouldn't ask adults their age. This has backfired with some of my younger ones(first and second grade). I told them I was a hundred and they nodded solemnly, told their little friends who agreed that I looked pretty good for my age and was lucky that I didn't have to use a cane yet.

[bshabu]

This Is not a rude question but it is on the same line as the last post

I work at a kindergarten and I get asked this a lot:

Where do you live?

I tell them in Japan.

But they can't understand why I live in Japan but I am from America(USA). That really confusses them.

[Spike]

I often get asked "Can you use chopsticks?" at a restaurant from my J. companions, even after I've already started eating with them...

[fromCanada]

This is a bit off-topic....but speaking of silly questions.

I'm a Japanese-Canadian and I lived in Germany for a year. After telling Germans I was born in Canada..the most annoying thing I was asked was "Oh, you speak English?" The fact that an Asian person can speak fluent English was such an amazing concept! (to some). It should be interesting when I teach English in Japan next year....

My point: Silly/rude questions occur in ALL countries...although to different degrees. My friends and I were once hassled by drunken Germans in public (public drinking is allowed there mind you). There are pervs all around the world.

[cafebleu]

I haven`t found the Japanese to ask really rude questions or really silly ones. Maybe I am lucky. However, I have found some Japanese ask nosey questions, which from some people may verge on the rude.

Simple rules - ask the same question back. The stunned look on the face of the Japanese asker of the original question will tell you that your point has hit home.

Therefore any questions about sexual experience, body proportions etc are avoided as you tell the asker `Well, you tell me first. How many men have you had sex with?` For nosey Japanese men, do what one of my men friends did. When Japanese men ask him how big his private part is, he says`Why do you want to know? Are you a homo? I am not, so go find somebody else.` These responses are a guaranteed way to shut up the nosey, annoying Japanese person who asks the inappropriate question.

[Gordon]

To continue that thought, once in Korea a man in the next urinal leaned way over to see how I was hanging, so to speak. Instead of p***ing on his shoe which was my first thought, I leaned over towards his urinal and started to laugh out loud. That cured him. He just left quickly without a word.

[ruggedtoast]

Ive begun to dread this question - usually wheeled out by acquiantances in bars or izikayas -

"Hey , how old are you?"

"28, why"

"Oh, HAHAHAHAHA! We were trying to guess. We thought you were much older - 35 or something AhaAHAHhahaha!"

I dont know why but they really dont seem to understand why this is rude.

The last time this happened to me was from my Japanese friends new boyfriend the first time I met him. She has lived in the States and looked mortified - he was totally nonplussed by the long embarrassed silence that fell over our group when he had finished laughing - I think maybe she explained it to him after.

[vash3000]

I rather like all the rude, nosy questions.

I remember one class, in my first visit, where the conversation gravitated towards condom size.

Next class, we all exchanged our favorite brands.

It was a bonding experience.

Wait a sec...let me re-phrase that.

[vash3000]

There was a follow-up discussion.

Hey! It beats any grammar focus you`d find in Interchange 3

[Canuck2112]

A dirty limerick scrawled on a bar napkin beats most grammar focuses in Interchange 3.

[Kapt. Krunch]

Better new Interchange than Look,Listen,Learn!!*Barf*

[vash3000]

A dirty limerick scrawled on a bar napkin beats most grammar focuses in Interchange 3.

I see you`ve gotten a hold of one of my lesson plans.

[tjpnz2000]

Hi,

I can't remember any really `rude` questions but then I'm a guy and my attitude is that unless someone is setting out to offend me, what is the reason to get offended?

The one time this happens is people think you know more than you do. For example I have a Japanese friend going to Australia for christmas and I'm from NZ, we had a conversation as follows:

Japanese Friend: Have you been to Australia?
Me: Long ago, I was 8.
JF: I'm flyng to Cains, can I drive to Sydeny? How long does it take?
Me: I was last in Australia 20 years ago, how should I know?
JF: You are from Oceania, you probably know these things.
Me: Oh! Right! No problem. I am going to Korea next month, where is the best place for yaki-niku in Seoul? You are from Asia so you probably know these thing, right?

We both started laughing.

My advice is this if someone asks an `inappropiate` question ask the same one back:

Them: Your x/y/z is big, yes?
You: Bigger than your wildest dreams. Yours is small, yes?

Even if they are trying to offend you, why give them the satisfaction?