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[Cleopatra]

AS a single female ingenue in KSA, I received much unsolicited advice.

Some of it was of the ridiculous "Never go out on your own or you'll be kidnapped and sold in slavery" or "Never trust an Arab" variety, designed to intimidate and to consolidate racist stereotypes.

On the other hand, some of it was useful. Two of the best tips I got - even though I didn't fully appreciate them at the time - were these:

"Remember that at the end of the day, the only people Saudis really care about are their family".

"One thing you've got to understand about this country: IT'S ALL FOR SHOW!"

The longer I stayed in KSA, the more I realized the important - if not absolute - truth of these statements. If I was to give a newcomer one tip for life in KSA - it would be this:

"BE DISCREET"

WAshing your diry linen in public is just not on in this particular country - as I was told, "It's all for show"... Saudis themselves seem quite comfortable with the idea of doing one thing in public and another in private. WE tend to see it as hypocrisy (which of course it is - sort of!) but I think that, for Saudis, public behaviour has a value all its own, which is quite unrelated to private behaviour. It's just a totally different way of looking at things. Or not?

Anyone else out there got any usuful tips for understanding the intriguing entity that is Saudi society?

[Truth Hurts]

Cleo

'Fraid I'm gonna' have to diasagree.

Showbiz was pretty much "Made in the USA". We export Hollywood, Disney and MTV to the rest of the world. There's possibly no culture in the world that is "ALL FOR SHOW" than the United States of America. As you rightly pointed out, our democratic elections are a pure facade as is Bush and his synthetic cronies.

As for Saudi, well, it all depends on what lenses you're looking through when you're trying to make sense of the Kingdom. I always feel uncomfortable with the idea that "other", distant unknown cultures can somehow be known or apprehended in a couple of pithy statements. Like all cultures, "Saudi culture" is an amalgam of a complex series of socio-historical, cultural, political struggles that is continually forming and restructuring itself. There is no meaningful snapshot view of the KSA.

And if you must, my advice to expats in the Kingdom is this:

1. "Remember always that people do things differently".
2. "Know thyself"

TH

[Cleopatra]

Dear Truth Hurts,

I never said that you can understand anything so complex as an entire society because of a few statements. However, in retrospect, I can see that certain things I heard in KSA did prove to be remarkably succint with regards to my own experience of that country.

As for "all for show", well, you're right to say that KSA does not hold a monopoly on hypocrisy! However, I do believe that the distinction between public and private in Saudi society is so great that many - not all - people genuinely do not see any connection between what they do in private (esp. in Bahrain or Cairo!) and what they do when their fellow Saudis are watching them. This is a society which - like many - operates on shame rather than guilt, after all. Not saying that's a bad thing, it's just the way it is.

And I definately agree with you re. accepting that it's a whole different ballgame in Saudi ARabia. If I had a hallala for every sad ex-pat I knew who said "Why can't these people do anything right?", I would now be a very rich woman!

[veiledsentiments]

Hi Cleo,

The impression that I got in the Middle East and especially the Gulf was that I had time traveled and was suddenly living with the Victorians --

Most anything goes as long as no one knows--

That is why it was 'boys gone wild' when these boys hit the US/UK for university - and I have heard that many of the girls do the same when they summer in Europe at the family flat. Then, suddenly at home, they are all prim and proper. The key seems to be - no one who knows me or my family can see me, so it doesn't matter - the family honor is not affected.

So many plots right out of Victorian novels come to mind-- We could call it hypocrisy, I suppose, but I prefer to think of it as just a cultural difference.


VS