Job Discussion Forums

nomadder · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 1:23 am Post subject:

Has anyone had a relationship that remotely resembled the movies or TV. Ever been chased after to the airport where you decided to ditch your flight and go off into the sunset while dodging bullets? Tee hee. I feel really let down when I am about to board my flight and look back and there's no guy standing there with flowers and a puppy dog smile, yet again. And in this life of moving around and living amongst the natives who often don't take you seriously how will it ever work? Rolling Eyes

Speaking of LOTR-just waiting for the crowds to thin out. Can't wait.

denise · Joined: 23 Apr 2003 Posts: 3419 Location: finally home-ish

khmerhit · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 4:21 am Post subject:

Hi Deborann

Deborann · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 4:57 am Post subject:

I was trying not to set the bar too high Razz

But you are right, being able to provide emotional support (which is not solution based, but empathy based) is important. A lot of women get this from their female friends, who seem to be born knowing the rules for how to do it. It also seems as if a significant percentage of gay guys have the same capacity as well, but I have met a number of straight fellas who have it. Most of them were married to my friends Crying or Very sad

I think (and am prepared to stand corrected on this one!) that the fellas who don't have it, are also those who find it harder to de-focus from themselves. I've been in situations where the whole reason for conversations is for a fella to provide insights and comments (on whatever the topic is) to the listeners. Almost couldn't be bothered listening to the discussion, spent the time between his speeches working out what he wanted to say next. Had 0 emotional capacity until it came to his needs. That was pretty extreme, but demonstrates what I think I am trying to say. I think it is a capacity to step back from a situation and really SEE/HEAR/FEEL what the other person is seeing/hearing and feeling - almost a negation of your own self for a while.

Of course people who do this all the time end up being burnt out doormats. There needs to be a healthy sense of self to manage it.

BethMac · Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 79

I'll take Legolas. One Legolas to go, please. Cool

dduck · Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Posts: 422 Location: In the middle

nomadder · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2003 2:57 pm Post subject:

Yes not so self-centered. A medium sized ego I suppose.

I'll take Aragorn thank you.