Job Discussion Forums

[Guy Courchesne]

If you got 'em, the world is yours. Makes life easy and things just seem to come to you.

If you don't?

How does one acquire people skills if you don't have a good grasp of them? I think teaching in Mexico requires a good head for the nuances of navigating the social tapestry...perhaps more so in some teaching situations than others. But what do you do if you're lacking in the department? Is there a way to learn? Or is it not even an issue?

[Phil_K]

I think the key is to treat people as you would like to be treated yourself. I don't know if you mean specifically managing students or staff or both, but we have all been both sides of the table and know what we have seen that is good and bad in the people we have worked with. It is nigh-on impossible to get it right all the time, but a bit of common decency and courtesy, together with an understanding of how other people feel, goes a long way. In a foreign country, as you say, it is important to understand cultural differences.

I am a firm believer that management is something that is learned from experience, not from some business school. Come to think of it, I feel that way about education in general. so why am I in this business at all?

[MELEE]

I've met a few teachers over the years who were just ment to be in a cubicle somewhere. I've always wondered why they got into the profession.

Can people skills be taught? I don't know. I love talking to people, and actually I prefer talking to strangers than to people I know

I would like to think that people can learn to be better people people.
Even if it doesn't come naturally to them.

[MO39]

When I was young, I didn't have good people skills - I was very shy and unsure of myself around other people, probably because I was insecure with myself. Now most days I feel comfortable with those I meet and teach and work with because I like myself (most days!) and am comfortable with who I am.

[hlamb]

[wildchild]

[Phil_K]

[notamiss]

OK, then can we say treat people as they ought to treat themselves?

I think wildchild's point (and even if it wasn't, it's a point that should be made) is that some aspects of how we would like to be treated are shaped by our culture, and when we're operating in a different culture, some behaviour that we consider polite isn't necessarily polite in that other culture.

[MO39]

In my first post I forgot to mention that one thing that helped draw me out of myself and my shyness was teaching! My first day as a Graduate Teaching Assistant, when I stood in front of a Spanish I class at the University of Wisconsin, I realized that I was in charge and I knew more than the students did. So in spite of the fact that I was just a little older than most of the students (and looked a great deal younger), I was able to quickly gain their respect and enjoy myself in the bargain. Teaching also taught me that I was a natural ham in a classroom situation!

[Linda T.]

Going back to Guy's original posting . . . yes, I think people skills can be learned and are vital to being a successful teacher. My experience has been that people with the best "people skills" are the ones who are the best listeners rather than the best speakers. The ones who make other people feel interesting and like they have something of value to share. Seems to me that this is an especially useful skill for an ESL or EFL teacher.

It's so strange the way that each class seems to have their own personality. I guess that's part of people skills too . . . trying to figure out how to bring out the best in each individual student within the context of the personality of the class as a whole.

What works in one class won't necessarly work in the next . . . but I think that's part of the fun and challenge in teaching . . . trying to figure out how to make the total greater than the sum of the individual parts.

[GueroPaz]

Most of the professions: medicine, law, teaching, nursing, and many business jobs, require people skills. Even office clerical jobs, or factory work, require some personal interaction, as does most of the life outside the job.

You need to get along with students, fellow teachers, bosses.

Yes, listening is one of the top skills in teaching, because we are not supposed to be lecturers in the ESL/EFL business. Different cultures often require different listening skills, different rates of delivery of information, etc.

If you have almost no friends by now, as an English teacher, you are probably in the wrong business.

[thelmadatter]

there are people skills and there are people skills... like everything else.. there is a spectrum....

I think "people skills" can be learned but only to a certain extent. I for one, am not terribly comfortable at a party where I know few people and all there is to do is "free conversation". Im quite comfortable in front of the classroom, where there are certain pre-established roles to fall back on. I like board and card games for the same reason ... its a base to start off from.

But I will never be a salesperson as I can never manage to schmooze. But then most people Ive met who schmooze and gladhand 24/7 seem to be the shallowest people I have ever met. Try to get below that charming exterior and they fall apart.

The other extreme of course, is the person who never leaves his or her cubicle or house and spends all their time working, reading or watching TV.

MO39 is right about being comfortable with yourself... just as long as you aint fooling yourself either.

Im kind of surprised Im still here in Mexico after almost 5 years... the social maze here still almost completely befuddles me... testimony to that is the fact that after a year and a half I still dont have my apt!

[spiral78]

It seems to me that a lot of what we call 'people skills' are kind of based on listening skills. Listening is one of those key things we try to teach new teachers, and also vital when learning a language - and a new culture/society/etc...

Learning to listen carefully can probably be taught to MOST people (I've run into a few adult newbie teacher trainees who were incorrigible in their lack of listening skills and hence jumped to their own personal stereotypical conclusions at every turn, usually misunderstanding the situation).

I think if you're listening carefully, you're way more likely to pick up the clues you need to respond appropriately in most situations - not 100%, but very helpful, at least.

[lozwich]

I agree with Spiral78, but its not just listening, its paying attention to things, which is not just restricted to listening. This can encompass things like facial expression and body language.

I'm fine..

No really, I'm fine.. FINE!!!