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007

Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 2684 Location: UK/Veteran of the Magic Kingdom
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Mia Xanthi wrote: |
| I agree that non-Saudi men (including both guest workers and "western" men) don't really count as men in Saudi society. The real damage to the reputation comes from a Saudi male knowing that . |
If they don�t count as men, they count as what?
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| Whether this is because we are more 'free', or rather because we are not considered worthy of the same level of 'respect', is entirely a matter of interpretation. |
According to my humble interpretation, the local men look to the foreign women, especially to the Westerners, according to their �behavioural� character.
If the woman is showing more �liberated� and �over-stylish� actions, then the local men will not respect her.
If the woman is showing the contrary of the above, then she will be respected by the local men!  |
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Cleopatra

Joined: 28 Jun 2003 Posts: 3657 Location: Tuamago Archipelago
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 6:19 am Post subject: |
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| both guest workers and "western" men |
I don't think one can make a distinction here. "Westerners" are every bit as much 'gastarbeiter' as Philipinos and Bengalis. Sure, they get paid a lot more, and may live in cushy villas rather than overcrowded hovels. However, in the eyes of the Saudis, they are ultimately just as disposable. |
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veiledsentiments

Joined: 20 Feb 2003 Posts: 17644 Location: USA
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 4:42 pm Post subject: |
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| 007 wrote: |
| Mia Xanthi wrote: |
| I agree that non-Saudi men (including both guest workers and "western" men) don't really count as men in Saudi society. The real damage to the reputation comes from a Saudi male knowing that . |
If they don�t count as men, they count as what?
| Quote: |
| Whether this is because we are more 'free', or rather because we are not considered worthy of the same level of 'respect', is entirely a matter of interpretation. |
According to my humble interpretation, the local men look to the foreign women, especially to the Westerners, according to their �behavioural� character.
If the woman is showing more �liberated� and �over-stylish� actions, then the local men will not respect her.
If the woman is showing the contrary of the above, then she will be respected by the local men!  |
Again 007 doesn't have a clue as to the actual topic of this thread and heads off by himself into left field...
VS |
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Imdramayu

Joined: 09 Feb 2007 Posts: 394 Location: South Korea
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 6:14 pm Post subject: Women drivers rock! |
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| Can you see me? I trust women drivers much more. |
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johnslat

Joined: 21 Jan 2003 Posts: 13859 Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 1:21 am Post subject: |
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Dear Cleopatra,
"However, in the eyes of the Saudis, they are ultimately just as disposable."
Allowing for the possibility of rare exceptions, I agree. But then, I suspect that a fair number of Saudi wives are also regarded as disposable, as so many are here in the West.
And, though it may be controversial, I also suspect that many Saudi males, making their evaluation of what they've seen of the West from the media, tend to regard all Western women as - well, to put it as gently as possible - "loose." |
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spiral78

Joined: 05 Apr 2004 Posts: 11534 Location: On a Short Leash
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 1:56 am Post subject: |
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I think that's absolutely true. We had a pack of Saudi gentlemen in Canada who continually hit on their married female teachers, who had taken pains to dress and behave especially conservatively througout the course, in deference to their student's cultural feelings. The fact that the women were in the classroom with them daily seemed to indicate that they were available for other activities, married or not.
Total myth, but uncomfortable social fact in that teaching environment. |
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007

Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 2684 Location: UK/Veteran of the Magic Kingdom
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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| johnslat wrote: |
| And, though it may be controversial, I also suspect that many Saudi males, making their evaluation of what they've seen of the West from the media, tend to regard all Western women as - well, to put it as gently as possible - "loose." |
John, could you elaborate more?
Do you mean that the Saudi males tend to regard all Western women as lacking moral integrity! |
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Cleopatra

Joined: 28 Jun 2003 Posts: 3657 Location: Tuamago Archipelago
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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| And, though it may be controversial, I also suspect that many Saudi males, making their evaluation of what they've seen of the West from the media, tend to regard all Western women as - well, to put it as gently as possible - "loose." |
And of course, the fact is that generally speaking, "Western" women are "loose" by Saudi standards. Don't misunderstand me - of course I am not saying that "Western" women are willing to 'do' anyone, as silly stereotypes might say. It's just that if you've been brought up in a society where even to smile at an unrelated member of the opposite gender is decidedly risque, then it might genuinely be hard to understand that just because a woman is friendly and casual around you, it by no means indicates she has the slightest 'romantic' interest in you. |
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spiral78

Joined: 05 Apr 2004 Posts: 11534 Location: On a Short Leash
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Yes, 007, that's what he means. |
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Mia Xanthi

Joined: 13 Mar 2008 Posts: 955 Location: why is my heart still in the Middle East while the rest of me isn't?
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:07 pm Post subject: dressing conservatively |
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I had to laugh at the poster describing the American teachers as trying to dress conservatively for their Saudi male students in the States. I taught Saudi males in the US, and I remember trying to dress in what I considered to be a conservative fashion in order to win their respect. Now that I am over here, I realize that what I considered to be conservative dress would be downright trampy to them.
It wasn't until I moved to the Gulf that I even realized that arms have to be covered in order to be "Islamically correct"! When I was younger, I assumed that if my legs were covered to the calf that I was being as modest as anyone could require.
However, you have to have a little sympathy for the Saudi males. They have nothing by which to judge us, and no experience at all with women. Their whole lives they have been told that it is a woman's responsibility to prevent men from being attracted to them. They come to the States or England and of course they think we are available.
I also feel sorry for the ones who come over thinking that all Western women will fall at their feet. It must be a shock to think that you would be attractive to the opposite sex if only they could interact with you, only to find out that most women aren't even remotely interested in you. |
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spiral78

Joined: 05 Apr 2004 Posts: 11534 Location: On a Short Leash
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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Mia, I hadn't considered the idea that the Saudi men expected to be found attractive by the Canadian women . Of course, you're probably right....
Those teachers did, in fact, wear clothing that covered their arms as well as legs every day, though the course in question was summertime and it was very warm for Canada...
We actually had quite a lot of sympathy for these gentlemen. It must have been like visiting the moon for them. Unfortunately, the DOS at that time was a woman who really dislikes men (doesn't like women much better, I must say) and she took some pleasure in bossing them around and putting them into situations that were clearly uncomfortable for them. I think it would have been far more sensible and practical to have assigned men as much as possible - probably we didn't have enough to cover the whole course, but at least there could have been a better mix.
All in all, the majority of them really were gentlemen, and they coped as politely as they could in a very difficult situation. The course fortunately ended with mostly good feelings all around. And was repeated the following year  |
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trapezius

Joined: 13 Aug 2006 Posts: 1670 Location: Land of Culture of Death & Destruction
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Interesting/sad/infuriating/disgusting isn't it, that we non-Saudis have to accomodate ourselves to Saudis whether we go to their country or they comes to our countries? |
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windstar
Joined: 22 Dec 2007 Posts: 235
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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| In exchange of money. |
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lall
Joined: 30 Dec 2006 Posts: 358
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:54 pm Post subject: Well said |
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| spiral78 wrote: |
All in all, the majority of them really were gentlemen, and they coped as politely as they could in a very difficult situation. The course fortunately ended with mostly good feelings all around. And was repeated the following year  |
Well said! Gentlemen exist in all cultures.
Regards,
Lall. |
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Cleopatra

Joined: 28 Jun 2003 Posts: 3657 Location: Tuamago Archipelago
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Interesting/sad/infuriating/disgusting isn't it, that we non-Saudis have to accomodate ourselves to Saudis whether we go to their country or they comes to our countries? |
Ah yes, the return of the man who cannot help expressing his bitterness at being forced to earn a crust in a country he detests ...
As windstar pointed out, it is normal to adapt your practices to suit your customers, whatever country you happen to be in. That said, I've not noticed that many people go out of their way to 'accommodate' themselves to Saudis in their own countries (or even in KSA itself, now that you mention it). Nor do most Saudis in any way expect them to do so. Indeed, from what I've heard, the majority of Saudis are perfectly content to adopt a 'when in Rome' attitude on their travels.The same, however, cannot be said of too many 'expats' in the Kingdom. |
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