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Loneliest Place
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Looking for my place



Joined: 09 Sep 2005
Posts: 49
Location: Portland

PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:59 pm    Post subject: Loneliest Place Reply with quote

Where are some of the loneliest places you have taught? I mean places where after getting out and about, following your interests and all the other common advice, just didn't make a difference in the society you were living in.
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anninhk



Joined: 08 Oct 2005
Posts: 284

PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did you go as some form of missionary? Was it your role to make a difference in some way?
I worked in one place where I was the only expat but I don't remember being very lonely.
I think I understand where you are coming from though - no matter what you do you are always an outsider because of cultural and language differences. I always tried to put my experiences in perspective and realise how lucky I was to be there and how well I was treated.
You can be lonely anywhere in the world!
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denise



Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 3419
Location: finally home-ish

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 2:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I haven't been lonely anywhere I've taught. I tend to find a few good friends among my colleagues and then go from there, sometimes starting friendships with the locals and sometimes not.

I'd say the place that would be most likely to cause feelings of loneliness is Oman, where I'm at now, because it's so much harder to meet the locals.

d
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sweeney66



Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 147
Location: "home"

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:24 am    Post subject: lonliest place Reply with quote

Where ever you go there you are...I love where I live, actually, but I must say I am lonely...I know lots of very cool interesting students and and teachers, but in a superficial way...in Mexico City, fun is for young people, mostly, and people my age (40's) are all married and just stay home...
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MO39



Joined: 28 Jan 2004
Posts: 1970
Location: El ombligo de la Rep�blica Mexicana

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:41 am    Post subject: Re: lonliest place Reply with quote

sweeney66 wrote:
Where ever you go there you are...I love where I live, actually, but I must say I am lonely...I know lots of very cool interesting students and and teachers, but in a superficial way...in Mexico City, fun is for young people, mostly, and people my age (40's) are all married and just stay home...


I beg to differ! I live in Mexico City and am older than you and am unmarried. While I don't go out clubbing on the weekend (except for an occasional visit to a jazz club in my neighborhood), I do manage to get out and have fun, often with friends quite a bit younger than me. You're welcome to join us, by the way...
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soapdodger



Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 203

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

London is a pretty uninviting place if you don't know anyone there. Unemployed in London (ie penniless), which I was some time ago, is the icing on the cake.
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Serious_Fun



Joined: 28 Jun 2005
Posts: 1171
Location: terra incognita

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 8:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Last edited by Serious_Fun on Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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southofreality



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 579
Location: Tokyo

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 2:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've met teachers who've told me they were lonlier here in Tokyo (pop. 12 million) than in rural parts of Japan.
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sweeney66



Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 147
Location: "home"

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 2:45 pm    Post subject: lonliest place Reply with quote

Thanks MO, I'll take you up on that sometime! I'm not saying that being lonely is necessarily negative, and I'm certainly not blaming Mexico City. I think it might just be a step in the process, or something. I do get out and have fun and connect with people, as work permits. I live and work near CU, so naturally most things around here are directed at the college students. I do work a lot of hours, and life just gets in a rut sometimes...work,supermarket, home. My first year here I was in school full time as well. I kind of miss that.
SD, strangely enough I have fond memories of being broke and marginally employed in London, but I had a great group of friends there (who were all in the same boat) makes all the difference, no?
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MO39



Joined: 28 Jan 2004
Posts: 1970
Location: El ombligo de la Rep�blica Mexicana

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:05 pm    Post subject: Re: lonliest place Reply with quote

[quote="sweeney66"]Thanks MO, I'll take you up on that sometime! I'm not saying that being lonely is necessarily negative, and I'm certainly not blaming Mexico City. I think it might just be a step in the process, or something. I do work a lot of hours, and life just gets in a rut sometimes...work,supermarket, home.
/quote]

Ruts can be comforting and also could be an indication that you're actually feeling at home in your neighborhood and don't feel the need to rush around madly doing "things" in your spare time. The next time you feel like venturing into the center of town, send me a PM and we can hang out, and even do something cultural or culinary or whatever...
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Looking for my place



Joined: 09 Sep 2005
Posts: 49
Location: Portland

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ya, my problem is similar to others. I am mid 30s and everyone here is married and runs in a tight knit circle. Surprisingly I am in a South American city composed of Eastern European immigrants. Hardest move of my life and most difficult time to integrate with locals ever.
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sweeney66



Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 147
Location: "home"

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:43 pm    Post subject: lonliest place Reply with quote

Thanks MO! I will. Seek and ye shall find...so, looking, maybe you should post your location and a kindly fellow teacher will come to your aid as well. When I first came here, August 06, I was a bit tired of my tribe of crazy bohemian friends and wanted to live alone for a change. I was also hoping to assimilate. Part of it is demographics, as the majority of people are young in Latin America (don't recall the exact figure) people marry younger, there is less divorce, and people have close relationships with their families and the friends they grew up with, and therefore don't really need to make new friends.
But I also think that loneliness has some value, like your sub-conscious has decided that you need to get to know yourself, or something like that. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but thats the idea I'm mulling over...Suerte!
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lozwich



Joined: 25 May 2003
Posts: 1536

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hiya Sweeny66,

I'm in a place where its pretty hard to get to know people, for the same reasons you said. Add 60 years of civil unrest to that mix and people aren't exactly outgoing. I'm also in my late 30s and known to occasionally regret the day I left my &^%$#^*^%$$&& of an ex, because at least then I wouldn't be single.

However. For the last year and a half, I have either been having surgery, recovering from surgery, suffering from depression post-surgery, getting ready for another surgery, or studying a very intensive course. One thing that experience has given me is a huge amount of time alone. Yes, I would like to have more friends, and yes, I would like a new boyfriend one day, but I really feel a lot more self contained these days, even though I was pretty happy in my own company before. When I am with people I enjoy it more, and when I'm alone I enjoy that too. Its definitely a growing time to get to that lonely place, and then move past it.

good luck, and don't give up!
Lozwich.
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MO39



Joined: 28 Jan 2004
Posts: 1970
Location: El ombligo de la Rep�blica Mexicana

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 11:48 pm    Post subject: Re: lonliest place Reply with quote

sweeney66 wrote:
Thanks MO! I will. Seek and ye shall find...so, looking, maybe you should post your location and a kindly fellow teacher will come to your aid as well.


I think that most of the D.F. people who post at Dave's know where to find me (on the banks of an Italian river in back of the US Embassy), and we do get together in person quite often, as well as on-line.

Quote:
But I also think that loneliness has some value, like your sub-conscious has decided that you need to get to know yourself, or something like that. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but thats the idea I'm mulling over...Suerte!


I remember the first time I found myself living alone, in an apartment in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where I was working on my first MA and teaching Spanish as a TA. Though I made friends fairly quickly with other grad students (and even with some of my own students), I did spend quite a bit of time alone and sometimes suffered pangs of loneliness. One day I said to myself, "Wow, I like living alone. That must mean that I enjoy my own company and like myself." That's a useful thing to learn at the age of 22!
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naturegirl321



Joined: 04 May 2003
Posts: 9041
Location: home sweet home

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I actually like being alone for a while, after spending all day with tons of kids, it's nice to get away from everything.
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