Job Discussion Forums

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

Gotta love Donnie's purple socks.

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

shmooj,

Thankfully, I never bought a single thing they sold, music or otherwise. Mine was the sort of family that put the Osmond show up there with Hee Haw and Lawrence Welk. Now, that Mitch Miller! HE had a band! Wink

shmooj · Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 1758 Location: Seoul, ROK

Thankfully I don't know what you're talking about... honest guv

Lynn · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 696 Location: in between

april · Joined: 07 May 2003 Posts: 83 Location: Australia

guest of Japan · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 1601 Location: Japan

I lived in Utsunomiya from Dec. 2000 to Feb. 2003.

Lynn · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 696 Location: in between

guest of Japan · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 1601 Location: Japan

Ouch, I'm sorry.

cafebleu · Joined: 10 Feb 2003 Posts: 404

Vash, I had an experience a while ago in Japan where the countryside place I lived in sucked badly because of the small-mindedness of some of those who lived near me.

ALL women in their 50s and 60s, with too much free time and most likely no fulfilling or existent sexual relationships with their husbands as they enjoyed speculating about me and my private life, and spreading gossip about me precisely because they knew nothing about me. Therefore they made it up. They tended to snoop around the front garden of my house, and I heard the old waruguchi expert next door bitching about me to the local policeman who used to visit her, although she had spoken to me first (I always greeted her) and I did all the things you are required to do by the neighborhood group.

I got through that period of my life in Japan because I escaped to the city on the weekends to meet up with nice foreigners I knew. I would have preferred your experience rather than being the subject of the gossiping women with their empty lives. If your social life is non existent there, get away on the weekends. Go to the nearest city or big town and have some fun.

An interesting point - I had a lovely student who grew up in Tokyo but moved to Gunma with her husband because of his job. She said she found it hard to make friends there, so maybe it is something about locals being a little closed to outsiders in some parts of Gunma. I also suggest you have a party for students at your house. You don`t have to supply anything but snacks and soft drinks or tea/coffee - get everybody to bring a packet or dish of something and if you really want to get them relaxed, buy some cheap chuhai or something. I think a party for your students would work.

cafebleu · Joined: 10 Feb 2003 Posts: 404

Mistake - I meant to say the old waruguchi expert had never spoken to me first. She would put her head down as I greeted her. Fine, but don`t then make nasty comments about me to the local policeman.

vash3000 · Joined: 13 Nov 2003 Posts: 56

That`s a nice batch of responses, thank-you.

A couple things you mentioned, cafebleu, are certainly true. I`ve talked to one of my students, who hails from Osaka, and he has mentioned it has been very difficult to form new friendships in Gunma.

Not a statistically significant sample size (say 5x fast), I know, but quizzing a few others has confirmed a bit more country-ness than I had anticipated.

My sympathies regarding the gossiping; to a much lesser extent, I have experienced similar. I always find it a bit surprising, `cuz whenever Vash`s personal life becomes the topic of speculation, you know times are desperate.

As an aside, I know there is a bit of a debate regarding why a gaijin comes to Japan. Personally, I had a good time both at work and sleeping with my students.

(Just kidding, you guys are so serious...)

Anyway, I wanted to give an update and some advice for fellow adventurers in Gunma based on my humble experiences.

Outsiders are treated with suspicion. Simply forget about seeing someone, wandering over, and establishing a friendship. Often, telephone numbers will be exchanged not out of interest, but as a way of getting rid of the scary gaijin.

Don`t take it personally.

Rather, Shmooj`s suggestions are very good. Once you integrate yourself a little in the community, doors start opening. Believe it or not, even just wandering around can work miracles. I know this is a bit of an abrupt turn from my previous post, but I had a good weekend. Critical mass must have been achieved, or something, cause suddenly I`m a busy guy.

Go figure.

But thanks Lynn, for the sentiments. A few months ago, I would have said that everyone is entirely responsible for their happiness. That may be true, but some places can be far more trying than others.

For the cursed, moving might be the only real option.

But I`ve got another nine months to go, and things are turning around.

I`ll keep you posted.

Cheers!
V.

shmooj · Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 1758 Location: Seoul, ROK

Good for you vash - yeah let us know the outcome. FWIW, it took me about two years to feel I was getting somewhere where I live. The reason? I just didn't get out there and give them a chance really. Regret it.