Job Discussion Forums

khmerhit · Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 12:57 am Post subject: attempts at classroom humour

At this dark cold time in the northern hemisphere, perhaps we could try a lighthearted new thread:
ICEBREAKER JOKES TO TELL YOUR STUDENTS Shocked

example

denise · Joined: 23 Apr 2003 Posts: 3419 Location: finally home-ish

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

d

shmooj · Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 1758 Location: Seoul, ROK

Why did the fly fly?

Because the spider spied her.

[HINT: say the punchline fast]

This is a good one for connected speech intros.

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One's got claws at the end of its paws and the other's a pause at the end of a clause.
[Language in Use Upper Intermediate listening activity]

Will. · Joined: 02 May 2003 Posts: 783 Location: London Uk

"Today, you the students talk and I will listen".
See how long you last.....

Guest · Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 5:36 am Post subject:

The Japenese eat little fat and they suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians or New Zealanders. The French eat a lot of fat and they also suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians or New Zealanders. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians or New Zealanders.
Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you!

Guest · Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2004 5:37 am Post subject:

Before you all jump on me - I know how to spell Japanese - it was a typo.

foster · Joined: 07 Feb 2003 Posts: 485 Location: Honkers, SARS

hee hee...that is funny Rhonda..not your spelling but the idea. My kids wouldn't get it tho

been_there · Joined: 28 Oct 2003 Posts: 284 Location: 127.0.0.1

Denise! you stole my joke!!!

http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/job/viewtopic.php?t=6752&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

It's the only one I have....... Very Happy

denise · Joined: 23 Apr 2003 Posts: 3419 Location: finally home-ish

Laura C · Joined: 14 Oct 2003 Posts: 211 Location: Saitama

One Valentine's Day I taught my students the meaning of 'chat-up line' and 'cheesy', then gave them a few examples:

Did you hurt your legs when you fell from heaven?

Your dad must have been a thief -- he stole the stars from the sky and put them into your eyes.

Are your legs sore? Cos you've been running through my mind all night.

etc etc!

OK, so they' re not jokes, but the students absolutely loved them, and we had such a good lesson giggling at all sorts of tacky phrases. (Unfortunately as they were high school students I couldn't teach them the more common and 'adult' chat up lines, eg 'Get your coat, you've pulled', and ones I won't even write here on such a well-mannered forum! Cool

L

rossiter joe · Joined: 28 Jan 2004 Posts: 25 Location: Gunma, Japan

A man goes to a doctor and says, "doctor, everywhere I touch myself it hurts". The doctor asks the man to show him, so the man touches different parts of his body and says "ouch" everytime. The doctor thinks for a minute and then proclaims; "You`ve got a broken finger". Shocked

Lanza-Armonia · Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 12:33 pm Post subject:

My kindy kids wanted to learn a joke so I told them one of the easiest and unfunny jokes possible, just so they could learn and understand it.

What does one get when crossing a fish and an elephant; swimming trunks.

Not funny, but all the Chinese bi-linguals thinks it's great.

But a Chinese translated joke I heard today is 'what do you call an American with 2 degrees; a dumb a$$'.

Imagine what the old chinese comedy what be like it you understood the damn thing.

LA

schminken · Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 2:20 pm Post subject:

Ok stupid and only good for German speakers but.....

Did you hear about the English lesson gone wrong in Germany?

one....two......four...??? Nein! Nein!

Ok that was bad, I admit.

Will. · Joined: 02 May 2003 Posts: 783 Location: London Uk

What is suspense?