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Charlemagne
Joined: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 40
Location: Res Publica Popularis Sinarum
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 Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:45 pm Post subject: |
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The lowest valley conquers the highest mountain. Perhaps you need to be more of a valley in this situation since it's apparent from your description that she is a strong willed person. What I mean by being a valley is to accept her personality and at the same time be patient, charming and understanding. Absorb her energy with your calmness and she will soften. Sooner or later it will become better for you as long as you don't lose your cool and throw in the towel. Trust me.
Keep this Jewel: 'Gotta have patience plus persistence' |
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Katja84
Joined: 06 May 2007
Posts: 165
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| Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 10:26 am Post subject: |
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| Voldermort wrote: |
| In your situation I would bring it down to their level. Make the CT lose face in front of the co-workers and students. This is as simple as "could you repeat that please?" and "I'm not sure what word you are trying to use, could you spell it out for me?". |
That's just really mean... Although the situation might be difficult, I don't think it's bad enough to warrant that sort of behaviour... |
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lf_aristotle69
Joined: 06 May 2006
Posts: 546
Location: HangZhou, China
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| Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 7:19 am Post subject: Re: self help paperback expert- free advice |
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| roadwalker wrote: |
| Whether or not she is a control freak or not, she seems to have a self-esteem problem. She gives a student part of the task, and then you the other part? She is communicating that she is your superior in an effort to keep her face. In other words she is worthy by comparison. You could play it two ways, the first being solve the problem and the second being put her in her place. I vote for the first. |
Right.
I think the 2nd way is what Voldermort was suggesting and Katja is right that that would be mean, and unnecessary. Big V, you wouldn't really be so nasty, would you?
I think jimoin's CT is a different kettle of Russell123's AT, who was just being TOO helpful.
jimoin's CT is (probably), like a fair chunk of Chinese teachers in some schools, intimidated by foreign teachers and worried that her imperfect English will embarrass her, hence she tries to (perhaps not entirely deliberately) demean you to show she is the senior teacher. Is she just some recent College Diploma kid? Or a 50 year old Masters of English type?
Be sensitive, and solve the problem as subtly as possible, and life and work will be much more pleasant than using the 'in her face' embarassment approach. Also, where there's one teacher like that it can sometimes be part of school culture for Chinese teachers to have that attitude to foreigners, so be careful how you rock the boat. Out of the frying pan and into the fire... springs to mind.
Good luck,
LFA |
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jimoin
Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 455
Location: Dalian
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| Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 4:42 am Post subject: |
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Well I don't see why I should have to put up with it. I'm told by other FTs that they all had a problem with her at first but learned to compromise to accomodate her 'style'. However she is the only CT like that, and I don't see why others should have to accomodate to her. Perhaps she should learn to accomodate to others instead? Particularly since the school is short of FTs and clearly needs FTs more than CTs. I hate how bosses at schools still act like they are top dog when in fact they are desperate for teachers.
By the way the latest in this situation is she has told me I have a chinglish accent. |
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7969
Joined: 26 Mar 2003
Posts: 5782
Location: Coastal Guangdong
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| Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 5:36 am Post subject: |
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| i had a similar problem in the past. the assistant teacher was interfering a bit too much, and i just told the person i worked for i didnt want to see that class again (they were kindergarten kids and i was working for an agent in taiwan). i never did see the class/that school again and they found a replacement for me soon afterwards. |
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jimoin
Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 455
Location: Dalian
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| Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 9:40 am Post subject: |
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| So did they force you to leave the school over your not wanting to work with that one CT? It seems a lot of schools are more stubborn than sensible in refusing to recognising irreconcilable personality clashes. |
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7969
Joined: 26 Mar 2003
Posts: 5782
Location: Coastal Guangdong
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| Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 9:58 am Post subject: |
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| jimoin wrote: |
| So did they force you to leave the school over your not wanting to work with that one CT? It seems a lot of schools are more stubborn than sensible in refusing to recognising irreconcilable personality clashes. |
is the question directed at me?
if so, i was working for an agent in taiwan, and i was at different schools every day of the week. at that particular kindergarten, i was only there twice a week, tue and thurs afternoons for 90 mins each time. i didnt tell the school anything when i decided to pack it in, i told the agent who found the hours for me i didnt want it anymore... she had about 6-7 FTs working for her and she just sent one of the others to that school, and i took a few hours elsewhere.
i dont know that the situation was irreconcilable.... i actually hated working with young kids (even though most of them were quite good) and i just got tired of listening to the assistant teacher. it was also around that time that i was starting to figure out this esl business and how it really operated (that was in 2003, and my second job in this field). if a similar situation happened to me today, i would deal with it differently i think. |
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