Job Discussion Forums

[wiggy]

yes, that's right, lazy, and i hate teaching. in fact any sort of work is quite repugnant.

oh, don't get me wrong, i'm very smart (honours graduate). and i presently work in a pretty high-paying job (at least in comparison to most drones in the western world). yet i think i need a big change.

this is where china might come in ... i've read a lot of posts here. many make me laugh. especially the ones written by teachers who can't spell. inspiring stuff.

so, to the crux of the matter. i want a real cushy job, and it seems china offers such positions. forget kids, i'd want to kill them and their moaning parents. i guess i'd be looking at universities. i like the idea of working about 13-16 hours per week. sounds about right. free board and possible a few free meals on campus. most of all, i really don't want to work hard.

i know the pay is pitiful, but i don't care. besides, any country that offers US$5 hourly massages is worth leaving the affluence of the west.

i've heard universities don't care what you do, as long as you turn up to classes. is this correct? can i just walk in, tell 'em to read something, and day-dream about my next thailand trip for 50 mins?

also, can people tell me which city would offer the best chances of such a vocation? oh, and where women are, er, the friendliest? one can't simply live on polluted air and noodles, you know.

now, before i go, i KNOW i'm going to get flak for such an attitude. i give good teachers trying to make a difference a bad name, blah blah blah. and yes, i probably deserve it. my attitude is terrible. thing is, i just don't care.

any info at all on my pursuit of happiness greatly appreciated.

[Louis]

Hm. I can't speak for anyone else here, but I find teaching surprisingly hard. Also, learning to speak the language in order to woo these "friendly" women isn't the most obvious thing either.

[MyTurnNow]

Having spent the last few years working my tail off for my pitiful pay, I just can't bring myself to be terribly helpful here.

Try Hong Kong...they'll hire just about any bozo there.

MT

[struelle]

[lagerlout2006]

HAHA!! I hope you come to China so I can look forward to reading your next post.

Too bad you don't like kids or I would recommend Korea. There they will not care what you do so long as the kids don;t complain to Mama. And if you teach nothing (your plan basically) the kids will love you. And the pay is higher and the women "friendlier."

I was at a Uni here for one term. You will not be able to "give em something to read" and then daydream. (And what will you give them to read???) If you do you will not last long. Students will be quick to say your classes are not challenging or relevant or interesting enough...If you are at least sincere you will be OK.

As for cities expect competition in the famous places.. Your plan - such as it is--MIGHT work in an obscure area that has trouble attracting foreigners..

[Roger]

If a Chinese boss feels YOU have a CUSHY job, he will soon change circumstances to make you change your attitude!

[kimo]

Reading the above reminds me of posters gone by.

And you can add in all the shiit you will take. Taxi drivers, street vendors, shopkeepers, beggars and everyone else who will want to rip your lazy butt off. Obviously, you didn't read about the banks here, too. They will make your life a hedonistic joy. As will sixty students in your classes. And if you're not run over by one of a million bicyclists and survive all the new and clueless drivers on the streets you'll be able to relax in your lovely apartment with your many new friends. I use little traps so the little, creeping buggers don't come looking for me at night.

[ilunga]

Wiggy, I'm a lazy ******* too and i'm doing ok.
You can give more to your students though than setting them stuff to read for 50 minutes. If you're coming from a 40 hour a week job in the west, trust me, you won't mind putting in 12-16 hours effort per week.
You'll have plenty of time to go out for massages, drink the dirt cheap local beer and pull the ladies.
You're gonna get some flak but at the end of the day a native English speaker with a good grasp of the language will be in demand in most areas of China. So what if you're only putting in the bare minimum?
You're still making a difference!
Good Luck

[Roger]

A difference to WHAT?

[Lanza-Armonia]

Hey bud

You are more than likely in the right place. Although the pay is kinda sh-itty, the job (Oral English Teacher) is a complete joke. Don't get me wrong, I don't speak for everyone. Some people have to work their a$$ off, but myself, I am getting paid to look around this 5k yo country!

Enjoy life

LA

[Klamm]

Teach at a Uni. Depends on the individual as to how they handle the culture shock.

Your attitude to life will...not serve you well no matter how much it is "hip" and fashionable in the west. Are you twenty still? I'm in my late twenties and "smarter" and better educated than yourself. Take my advice (but you won't): If you "don't care" you'll have a arduous run in life until you start to care or worse, you'll never see the light and live a quietly miserable life. Do as you like. Do as you feel. You may need some banging to bring out the heart in you.

Go abroad. Definitely. And use your "smarts" to study and read, too. You might learn to live again.

"He not busy being born is busy dying." (Bob Dylan)

K.

[Louis]

I just have to add more here. Wiggy, you remind me of the way I was. I'm not a dumb guy. You won't find spelling mistakes in my posts. I passed university for two years, because I calculated exactly how much work I needed to do to add up to exactly 51 %. It's not that I couldn't get a good average, it's just that *I didn't care*. (I dropped out after two years, by the way, to get rid of this attitude.)
I don't doubt that you're a smart guy. You just don't like work. Well, if you want to do f*ck all for the rest of your life and get 5 dollar massages, give it a try. I just don't think that it will seem like such a smart idea down the road.

[wiggy]

Hi all, thanks heaps for the feedback - makes interesting ready.

first, to the last msgs i read, from NumberOneSon and Wozza ... i know it seems fashionable to label anything that may not be to your liking a "troll", but i'm being serious. why would i waste my time otherwise? by all means, think what you like - but this ain't no troll. the only aforementioned term i've known recently was a girl i shagged after drinking seven beers. in the morning, she did indeed look like she lived under a bridge. i just prey she remains there from now on.

**MyTurnNow: i've actually lived and worked in HK already, where i made big money as a journalist (my profession). but don't really want to work there as a teacher. thanks anyway.

**Stuelle: yes, yes, i know all about culture. i've lived and worked in over 20 countries. i'm just after some easy living, thus my enquiry. but ta for your input - by the sounds of what you and others are saying, some find life in china a breeze, others are working their arses off for almost no money.

**Lagerlout: i'll indeed keep you posted, mr beer monster, in the event i make it to the mainland. as for korea, worked there for a year in 1996 as a teacher ... it was a good experience, but the job sucked. women were yum, though.

**Roger: in the event i'm found out (ie - my employer realises i'm about as good as a dead rat), can't one just move provinces/cities to another institution? sounds as if there are hundreds of places screaming for workers.

**Kimo, you don't sound too happy there.

**Ilunga, nice to know there's a brotherhood! thanks for the input and advice.

**Lanza: dito.

**Klamm: i'm 38, not in 20s. unlikely you're smarter or better educated than moi, but no doubt you're more modest. still, thanks for the advice ... i've always wondered who wrote those buddhist philosophies that trikitaka sprouted in Monkey. now i know.

**Louis: cheers for the advice ... i can see where you're coming from. i guess i should reiterate that i'm not after this forever, just for a year or two. so i'm unlikely to regret much over the short term.

anyway, thanks again ...

[zydeco]

How refreshing!

First and foremost, I think I know that troll you wrote about. (shudder) I still blame baijiu.

Now, to your questions. There are so many completely incompetent teachers in China that, if you are who you say you are, you can probably get by on BS. Here are a few suggestions, though.

1- Why would you bother preparing something for your students to read during class? Just talk to them about your trip to Thailand. Many uni students will be blown away by the conversational vocabulary you teach them by discussing he-shes and hangovers.

2- Bosses. Here's where you would benefit if those big degrees of yours are Liberal Arts - and particularly if you took any Psych. What you want is a particular brand of dope. Look for one that's blinded by your whiteness and responds well to unabashed grovelling. Just bring your waders.

3- Location. You'd be able to be lazier in a provincial area. They would be so blown away by your laowei presence that it would take longer to diminish your value by being a lazy b******. Anyway, what are they going to do? Replace you? (laugh) Even a chunk of asphalt would be the jewel in their crown. The larger cities have much more luxuries, but it would be more of a gamble to maintain your employment status. BUT!!! If you don't mind monetary uncertainties, there are enough jobs in the cities to just switch around every time you get fired. Just bluff at each new interview.

4- Women. I like 'em more as you go further north. Taller and fairer skin. Women can be friendly everywhere, though, as long as the deal is sweet on their end.

5- And really, most Chinese hate confrontation. In the right circumstances, it's pretty hard to get fired. They just won't renew your contract. (shrug)

Hope this helps. And, by the way, shame on you...or something.

[wiggy]

good one, zydeco, thanks. not only a bunch of good advice, but bloody funny, too. where you from and which part of china are you? teaching at pre-schools, teens, university?