Job Discussion Forums

[Guy Courchesne]

Mexicans are an easy going people. I've always found it easy to make friends here, in Mexico City, in Acapulco, and in Guadalajara (the three places I've spent an appreciable amount of time in this country). Some Mexican friends I've known since I arrived over 8 years ago. Others are more recent acquaintances.

Foreign born friends are a bit of a different story. My particular job enables me to meet dozens of new people each year, from Canada, the US, the UK, Africa, Asia, and all points in between. Teachers come and teachers go. Some folks stay on for teaching assignments as short as 3 months. Many stay for up to a year. There's a small handful that stay for longer periods or have done what I've done in having emigrated permanently to Mexico.

You meet all kinds, as I'm sure many of the regulars on this forum know. Cowboys that breeze through town and are gone the next day. Idealists who arrive bright-eyed and leave either sated or broken. Boyfriends or girlfriends of that Mexican other who try to make a go of it in the 'old country'. So many different people, so many different stories.

In my eight years here, I've been both fortunate and unfortunate in forging friendships. I've met some real twits to be sure. But I've also met some kind and generous souls ...people of that kind of 'world traveling spirit' that I identify with. I can probably count on one hand those who are as they've come and ultimatley gone though this country. These are the people that make not only my job interesting, but life a pleasure.

Several people in DF that post her regularly I include in that group (and you know who you are! . One such person is leaving Mexico after 3 years here, heading back home.

Corporatehuman AKA Chris (hope you don't mind me using your real name here). Chris, you haven't posted much of your experiences here on the forum, and I wish you had. Chris and his significant other and I and my significant other have spent many a night together, at his place, or at my place hashing over the best and the worst this country has to offer. We've yakked politics both foreign and local, seen sunrises and sunsets, watched both bullfights and the Eagles and Senators in sport, and sampled every type of cuisine available in the city.

I've made no such friendship with a foreign teacher here as I have with Chris...the short time frame in which we all seem to exist here makes it so hard to make anything permanent. But, Chris and Candy I now count as great friends. It will be sad to see an end to this.

So, Chris, I wish you a very heartfelt farewell and good journey. You know you're always welcome to visit and that you'll have a place to stay in Mexico City. Good luck to you!

[john_n_carolina]

"There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all"

J.Lennon 1965

[MO39]

Hail and farewell, Chris. Though I haven't known you as long and as well as Guy has, I think of you as a good friend and will miss having you around. I'll think of you every time I use my new Ikea tool kit.

Give my regards to Philly and The Big Apple!!

[Dragonlady]

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[El Gallo]

Although I had many good friends in the US and we still keep in touch after as many as 30 years, I've never met any American, Canadian or British teachers here who I have become friends with. Maybe it's me as a result of my great disillusion with what America became during the Bush years - an intolerant, war-like, xenophobic theocracy. Maybe it's a mutual jealousy that foreign teachers have of each other, but it just has not clicked for me to have another foreign friend here.

On the other hand, I have been blessed with many Mexican friends-Mexican teachers, coordinators, former and present students and their families who share birthdays and wedding with me. Most stay in touch - others just disappear abruptly never to be heard from again. I have many best friends here and we wouldn't hesitate to help each other any way we could. I must say I have more close friends here than I ever did in the States. Guy relates close friendships with fellow foreign teachers but I just don't get close to them. The last time I was developing a relationship with a Canadian teacher, she abruptly ended our conversations when I told her I would not listen to any more of her Jehovah Witness preaching.

Anyone else had a similar experience with making friends with fellow foreign teachers or am I the only one who is a weirdo?

[Guy Courchesne]

While I was married to a Mexico City girl, the family and friends in our circle tended to be more Mexican than foreign. Having divorced, the balance has shifted to foreign friends, but for me that's primarily due to work. It's still difficult with foreigners like El Gallo says, but I think that's mostly down to the transient nature of teaching abroad.

As the years keep piling on, I notice too that foriegn ELTs are getting younger and younger, at least compared to my age. As the old man slows down it's going to be more difficult to keep up with the kids socially.

[jfurgers]

I seem to get along with people who aren't from the States. Although I'm more exposed to teachers who are from Mexico for the most part. My friend in China reminds me constantly to not trust teachers from the States because they will use you.
That's a broad statement to trust NO ONE from the States or Canada, but I guess it's because he's had bad experiences with Gringos in China. Making friends doesn't seem to be a problem. The problem is having time to build friendships. I don't know of many Americans living here in the south of the city, especially my location.
I've been told that it's sometimes easier to build friendships in small towns and that places like DF it's more difficult.

[Dragonlady]

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not directly related to TESOL

[jfurgers]

[MikeySaid]

[Dragonlady]

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not directly related to TESOL

[TheLongWayHome]

I think I unintentionally avoid having close friendships with foreigners now (those that are not here to stay) as SLP's revolving door means so many leave and don't come back. I don't have that many close male Mexican friends as most only seem to be into football/strip clubs/cheating on their wives (usually in that order).

I have to say that all the Americans I've met have been buena onda, but my god do Mexicans talk about them behind their backs.

[Guy Courchesne]

[john_n_carolina]

....good points, and good topic Guy --

for me and many others, we were just way too tired and burned out by Friday.

the last place i wanted to be would be in some Karaoke bar singing bad Queen or Light My Fire by the Doors.

rather go home and sleep and rest my voice.

[corporatehuman]

I will miss Mexico.

I haven't made all that many 'foreigner' friendships myself. In my time here I've had very good Mexican friends, American, and Canadian mostly. But I could count them all on two hands.

I do not think making friendships in a foreign country is an easy task. Many of the foreigners I have met, the type that end up traveling and living for a few years or more in a place, tend to have strong personalities. Probably like most of the people on this board. That's not a bad thing...but it can make friendships difficult.

So it is my great pleasure that I met someone like Guy, someone who in a foreign country, made me feel comfortable. Almost like home. I am sad to leave him and his girlfriend, especially as they embark on a new life together. I am, yes, sad to leave in general. I suppose that's what friendships do to you.

So this will probably be one of my last posts on the board. I'd like to thank you all for the vast amount of information you have provided me over my journey, especially when I was just 'thinking' about coming to Mexico but had no one to speak to. And although I've never met many of you, I do consider everyone here, in some way or other, a friend. Strong personalities aside, this board is a great resource.

I encourage anyone coming to Mexico to seek and carve out their own experience here; to make it a memorable (or perhaps permanent) one. Do not get caught up in where you are from, whether or you are American, or Dutch, or English, or African, or Chinese etc. people that become your friends quickly learn to see through that. I never felt my nationality was a burden here, rather an opportunity.

Being foreign, I was allowed to traverse through many different classes of Mexicans without being expected to remain with one. Overall, rich or poor, I liked them all. I was treated very well by the people I came in contact with. I accepted them as they were and did not ask that they change.

I have endless stories (as all you surely do) which hopefully I will recount one day. I can say even after three years I am still surprised by the people here (in a good way.). And when I return I will not carry with me any regrets. I do not believe I can really ask for more than that.

So again thank you Guy, and though this part of our friendship must come to an end; I hope in the future our paths will cross again. I am sure they will.

Take care everyone,

Chris