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Great vs. Most challenging aspect of living in japan
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JL



Joined: 26 Oct 2008
Posts: 241
Location: Las Vegas, NV USA

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are three types of men we are talking about here:
Western men, Japanese men, and Elkarlo men! (None to be confused with Arnold Schwarzeneggar's "Girly Men." But probably all of us to be easily confused with Cro-Magnon Man. Mad Mad Mad , Wink)

Seriously though, Anne, I'm sorry that you have to slog through some of the stereotypes, both from Japanese and fellow foreigners alike. Just keep your chin up. You seem like a pretty upbeat individual.

(Okay, I gotta hide out. Seklarwia has tracked me down over here. So like the wind -I am goooooooone!!!)
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gaijinalways



Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Posts: 2279

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure it's a stereotype in either case. Let's look at the stats for marriage; the majority of Japanese men married to foreigners are married to Asian women (Chinese, Korean, Filapino), so that a Japanese man married to a Western women is very rare.

Now some of the foreign women on this forum have said it's not difficult to date Japanese men, but the stats for marriage show that it's more likely to see a Western man with a Japanese woman (dating as well, but I think there are also a lot more Western males than Western females here in Japan).

anne_o posted
Quote:
yeah....it's funny....i just had an interview yesterday and the English guy asked me if we were living together???


My take on this would be more why would he ask this question. But after that, believe it or not I have a fair number of students whose husbands don't live with them; i.e. husband was transferred and the wife preferred to stay in Saitama, Tokyo, Chiba, etc (I work in Tokyo). There have been cases both with and without children.
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Sour Grape



Joined: 10 May 2005
Posts: 241

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dislike - crap, tasteless food (IMO), utterly spoiled former natural beauty.

Like - general convenience, being able to ignore cultural idiosyncrasis I see no sense in, general feeling of safety relative to UK.
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tonyukohi



Joined: 24 Dec 2008
Posts: 22
Location: Tokyo

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Likes: the non-aggression, being able to walk home tipsy by myself, all the people (i like crowds), the cleanliness, dango, piss alley, the sound of japanese, being a part of and yet apart from the culture.

Dislikes: at first i was like hmm, no major dislikes...cockroaches, the humidity, not-soundproofed apartments, trains stopping early. all easily dealt with.

but anne raised a good point. foreigners in japan are always seen as transient, but the men - most japanese people accept western (or non-japanese) men can choose to live here, get married, procreate, etc.

as a woman, and single, and looking for a professional job, i get a lot of skepticism. hr folk don't seem to believe that i'm going to stick around. and the number of times i've been asked if i moved to japan because of a relationship...ugh. question 2 on the list is: do i like japanese men? my answer: they're men, yeah? so yes, i like them.

do foreign men get the "eehhhh? you live alone? samoshiii ne?" really, i can't imagine sharing my less-than-20 square meters.

sorry for the rant. but, is it so hard to believe i chose to come here and like it? by myself? Evil or Very Mad
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elkarlo



Joined: 08 Dec 2008
Posts: 240
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

anne_o wrote:
yeah....it's funny....i just had an interview yesterday and the English guy asked me if we were living together??? it's like people always think that if you are married to a japanese man he must be some wealthy businessman, or we are just married for convenience???
i'm also feeling that when i go to interviews they just can't understand why i want to work full time and don't want kids!!
all of the stereotypes about japanese men, which have been perpetuated mostly by Westen men.....sorry!........are so silly. But that's another topic!


As a Western Man it is my DUTY to updold and continue on such sterotypes.

Anyhow, that is prolly annoying, and somethat that happens more often than it should. I guess with something that is not common, sterotypes exist more, as there is nothing to make most people think differently.
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elkarlo



Joined: 08 Dec 2008
Posts: 240
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

seklarwia wrote:
elkarlo wrote:
anne_o wrote:
I enjoy being a foreigner. I sometimes felt like a foreigner in my own country! I'm married to a Japanese man who is not a typical Japanese....he has problems 'fitting' in here as well......
True, life is normal for me here; I go to work, go shopping, deal with all the stuff one has to deal with no matter where you live.....but I will never stop looking and observing.....and appreciating the little details that I love here!


JL I'm not starting guff here. Just pointing this out.

Anyways, interesting. There are a least 2 that I know of, women who are married to Japanese men. The stereotype is white guy/ asian girl. Good to know the inverse actually occurs in Japan. As the common Sterotype is Japanese girls are easy, which make for the Charisma man syndrome, while western women are left lonely. Kinda silly ain't it.


Its not a common stereotype here Shocked We don't really believe that Japanese girls are easy especially in comparison to many women here (lets face it; 18-30s here are some of the most drunken and loose in Europe). Here we believe that many Japanese women find Western men attractive because they so different to men there. I think its more that Japanese men are often intimidated by the same differences in Western women.

To be honest, for some of the differences such as height, J men are no different to Western men; many men here will admit that they find really tall women intimidating.


Well you guys in that Euro place sure are different. Not the same at all. In America outside of clubs, girls are reverse easy to talk to and date. So I guess the idea of easy Japanese girls is kinda an artificial reality where dating girls is easy somewhere. Which in fact is not true. So maybe it's just an American thing then? I'm off to Japan to become Charisma Man(yell the last part)!!!
[/img]http://www.karatethejapaneseway.com/photos/charisma_man_01.jpg[img]

As a short guy myself, yes tall women are scary. Being of Japanese height myself, I too understand what it's like Sad Laughing [/img]
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elkarlo



Joined: 08 Dec 2008
Posts: 240
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JL wrote:
There are three types of men we are talking about here:
Western men, Japanese men, and Elkarlo men! (None to be confused with Arnold Schwarzeneggar's "Girly Men." But probably all of us to be easily confused with Cro-Magnon Man. Mad Mad Mad , Wink)

Seriously though, Anne, I'm sorry that you have to slog through some of the stereotypes, both from Japanese and fellow foreigners alike. Just keep your chin up. You seem like a pretty upbeat individual.

(Okay, I gotta hide out. Seklarwia has tracked me down over here. So like the wind -I am goooooooone!!!)


I'm not actually talking to JL, just the corner.

Elkarlo men? Is that another way to say man child?
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tonyukohi



Joined: 24 Dec 2008
Posts: 22
Location: Tokyo

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

embrace being shorter than your girl. it puts you on a nice eye level, dunnit? Wink
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seklarwia



Joined: 20 Jan 2009
Posts: 1546
Location: Monkey onsen, Nagano

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tonyukohi wrote:
embrace being shorter than your girl. it puts you on a nice eye level, dunnit? Wink


Right before she starts petting your head and feeding you tidbits.

Elkarlo. I think the conotations attached to easy here maybe a bit different to what you are referring to Wink If you say easy to date then perhaps.

JL. When I get my hands on you... you are so grounded!
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elkarlo



Joined: 08 Dec 2008
Posts: 240
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

seklarwia wrote:
tonyukohi wrote:
embrace being shorter than your girl. it puts you on a nice eye level, dunnit? Wink


Right before she starts petting your head and feeding you tidbits.

Elkarlo. I think the conotations attached to easy here maybe a bit different to what you are referring to Wink If you say easy to date then perhaps.

JL. When I get my hands on you... you are so grounded!


I meant both definitions, and stand by it.

Thanks for making me seem like I'm 2 years old.

Oh since I don't actually do ANYTHING at work, I was on Bigdaikon found this http://www.yomiuri.co.jp/dy/national/20090225TDY04301.htm That doesn't help the image of Japanese guys at all. Wonder if this is really a new phenomonon, or just silly media hype.
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elkarlo



Joined: 08 Dec 2008
Posts: 240
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tonyukohi wrote:
embrace being shorter than your girl. it puts you on a nice eye level, dunnit? Wink


Hey don't try and put a postive spin on it!! Laughing
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fluffyhamster



Joined: 13 Mar 2005
Posts: 3292
Location: UK > China > Japan > UK again

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One of the best things for me is the cheap tobacco and booze, and low tax generally (meaning, I have a lot more pay left over to buy that nice affordable tobacco). The flip-side however is that that partly translates into expensive and generally quite limited healthcare due to the reduced tax revenues.
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elkarlo



Joined: 08 Dec 2008
Posts: 240
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

fluffyhamster wrote:
One of the best things for me is the cheap tobacco and booze, and low tax generally (meaning, I have a lot more pay left over to buy that nice affordable tobacco). The flip-side however is that that partly translates into expensive and generally quite limited healthcare due to the reduced tax revenues.


Booze is cheaper? Maybe in the bar, but buying it from stpres is a pretty penny. Are you European?

In America a decent pack of Cigs is like $5.50 or so. Or least in Maryland.
A normal 12 pack of canned beers is like $13.00. I found that beer in Japan from stores was like 160yen or so a can, at the cheapest. The "better" beers are like 200 yen a can. Unless the recession brought down prices *jumps up and down crossing finger*
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fluffyhamster



Joined: 13 Mar 2005
Posts: 3292
Location: UK > China > Japan > UK again

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm from the UK, hence my finding Japan comparatively cheaper (or certainly, not much more expensive) in many respects!
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seklarwia



Joined: 20 Jan 2009
Posts: 1546
Location: Monkey onsen, Nagano

PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

elkarlo wrote:
fluffyhamster wrote:
One of the best things for me is the cheap tobacco and booze, and low tax generally (meaning, I have a lot more pay left over to buy that nice affordable tobacco). The flip-side however is that that partly translates into expensive and generally quite limited healthcare due to the reduced tax revenues.


Booze is cheaper? Maybe in the bar, but buying it from stpres is a pretty penny. Are you European?

In America a decent pack of Cigs is like $5.50 or so. Or least in Maryland.
A normal 12 pack of canned beers is like $13.00. I found that beer in Japan from stores was like 160yen or so a can, at the cheapest. The "better" beers are like 200 yen a can. Unless the recession brought down prices *jumps up and down crossing finger*


I've never bought a can before, but I did pick up a couple of bottles of Grolsch for my dad last week at about �2.50 per bottle. Alcohol in Europe is cheap but costs an arm and a leg (and in some instances a kidney) in the UK. That's why millions of my fellow Brits flood our European neighbours at the weekends with the sole intention of getting as hammered as possible.

How much are cigarettes in Japan? Here an average pack is about �5. Also do vending machines and shops stock menthol (or orange perhaps *crosses fingers*)?

Oh and just found a nice little article on the Telegraph website. Seems it cheaper to be a coke/heroin addict than a drinker in the UK... nice.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4602051/Cocaine-cheaper-than-lager-and-wine-as-drug-price-falls-by-half.html


Last edited by seklarwia on Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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