Job Discussion Forums

[Sara Avalon]

Now before we play dodge the bullets, let me tell you something: I'm a decent, worldly, god-fearing gal with a flair for fun and mischief. My best friend says I may be a little weird, but she'd never hesitate to bail me out of jail...

I've also travelled extensively in my life, to places like Canada (Nova Scotia, Montreal, Toronto.. ) America (Chicago, Maine..) Europe (Britain, France, Switzerland...) and even to the ME (Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait...) ..

.. but the dilemma persists: I am attracted and seeking a "Wraskilly Wabbit" but wind up always attracting a "Wittle Dud".

Like many other women, I grew up admiring that ground-breaking hero, Buggs Bunny. He had it all and he could really turn on my tv set (if you know what I mean) Tall, cultured, cunning, with a great set of teeth, toe curling big feet, and a sense of humor that split your side. True he was known for his salt and pepper scruff and large whiskers, but who doesn't like a little fur on their "Buck?" Oh, and who can forget his Orbit masterpiece along side the undisputed genius, Michael Jackson, in "Space Jam?" That wild devil was pushing off and slamming it into the hoop with so much uninhibited vigor it got the crowd cheering! Yep, that was my main carrot-totting heartthrob; He was everything I ever wanted, and he was all American.

But after 20 some odd years, the search has really taken it's toll. I find myself asking if I haven't been looking in the wrong cabbage patch. I've discovered an Elmer Fudd around every corner, but alas, no Buggs.

Who is an Elmer Fudd? He's that slow little short guy with the beer gut belly you love to cringe at the sight of. Slow and totting a metal shotgun to make up for smaller "attributes" (his shoe size resembles the toddler selection at Sears) he always seems to be suffering from an inferiority complex. Maybe it's because of those Dumbo ears, or that receeding hairline (what hair? I've seen coconuts with more hair!) maybe it's even a result of his stalled-engine laughter, but one thing's for certain: he's got a cute smile, but not much else to satisfy a hot-blooded woman's needs. Heck, the mere mention of anything remotely romantic makes this little guy blush and tweedle his fingers.

I've been a nice girl.. really I have. But I need more than the tampon-sized, average "wonder" the dear little Elmers of North America can provide. As much as I love preparing myself for the oscars (Oh no, Honey! Really I felt it too... ) I would like to focus on being honest in my future partnerships: If ya need to tell me you're no shorter than the average white-guy, you might as well shuffle your little clod-hoppers home.

So the question I would like to pose all the travellers is, where are all the Buggs Bunnies? Is there no place on God's fine Earth that I may find the energetic, 8th or even 10th wonder of the world? Or should I resign myself to the the local-made, nervous, sweaty, 6-shooter? Don't get me wrong, I'm not shallow at all.. I just know what I want and find appealing in a future one-night stand.

Can anyone point me to the right region, country, or continent where I might have better luck?

[Lanza-Armonia]

And you posts your 'dietry' needs on a TEFL website?

[Deborann]

Africa. Tall (unless you happen to land near the Bushmen ) sculptured - both from running after endangered game and a touch of famine, shoe size easy to check out, and skin that melts into the night. What are you waiting for girl - watch out Zulu's here she comes.

[Sara Avalon]

[Capergirl]

[johnslat]

Dear Sara Avalon,

"I am attracted and seeking a "Wraskilly Wabbit" but wind up always attracting a "Wittle Dud".

Hmm, could it possibly be because you're misspelling your hero's name?

"I grew up admiring that ground-breaking hero, Buggs Bunny."

Try Bugs.

Regards,
John

[Sara Avalon]

[Aramas]

Let's see, you try to be a nice girl and your ideal male is a hirsuite, androgenous cartoon character? I'd suggest, Miami, Pismo Beach or Albacoikie, preferably by hand dug tunnel. Look for the Cuban part of town

I'm told their 'feet' are so big they have to tuck them into their socks - mostly by Cubans of course

[Canuck2112]

Try the roadrunner...crafty and resourceful. Probably hung like a lightswitch but I bet he could pound through a brick wall.

[johnslat]

Dear Sara Avalon,
Not to be nitpicky, but isn't a typo an inadvertant keyboard error? You made the same typo three times? No, what stuck me as odd was misspelling your hero's name, rather like an admirer of eastern religions writing:

" The Booda is my hero."

But as for addressing what you're saying, well, just how does one address a satire? Actually, I'm not so sure that "fighting fire with fire" is the best way to respond to the dumb male bunnies (so to speak) who post what I consider to be very immature messages about what they regard as the most important attributes to look for in a woman. Descending to their level, even in jest, will probably result only in further silliness. I can understand your taking offense at such callow remarks, but I suspect that your message is only going to add fuel to the fire. Ignore the ignorant, I'd suggest; I doubt you're going to win over any minds and hearts.
Regards,
John

[dmb]

Sara, why don't you join a dating agency? They are probably better at giving advice than a bunch of EFL teachers.

[yaramaz]

Sara, just wanted to let you know I love your posts. Call me if you are ever in Turkey. We can discuss rabbits at length (har har) whilst watching those lovely Turkish men stroll past in those gloriously form-fitting jeans they pour themselves into. ... ah, nothing like objectification of the sexes!

[wordgirl]

Sara, this is hilarious. I am impressed.

Come on, fellas. Where are you?

[dmb]

Why is it that women post a topic about the opposite sex it is hilarious but when a male posts something(Sid's post) it causes outrage. This is a genuine question. There has been a lack of male responses. Is this because males don't care what women's opinions are. NOT my opinion, just a passing thought

[yaramaz]

I thought Sid's was a hoot. I think they're all a hoot. The whole topic of T&A&P is just so irrelevant... dang it, y'all, they're just bits.... nice bits, dangly bits, perky bits... but still bits.