Job Discussion Forums

[been_there]

Do-it-yourself Dave's posting (I've already escaped the crimson room)


Hello everyone, I'm______________
A. a first-time poster.
B. a left-handed lesbian Eskimo.
C. bored, horny and/or drunk.
D. wondering about the insertion of feature filtering into natural language parsers.
E. a beefed-up hunk-cake of twitching muscle and sinew.
F. about to rip my bosses head off.


Does anyone_________________
A. know a place where I can teach?
B. understand the horrible discrimination in this country?
C. have big boobs?
D. know how to create elements of a linguistic environment that will
help a natural-language grammar expert to express and manage features?
E. want to max-out their glottis and pump-up their coccyx like a mad raver on X and �roids?
F. know how to run out on a contract?

I'm asking because__________________
A. I like English and I can speak English and I feel sorry for all the poor people in the world who are not as fortunate as I.
B. people look at me.
C. I saw a cat with boobs and I felt something and I want to know if it's weird or not.
D. natural language parsers are often based on grammars with an excessive generative capacity.
E. my muscles' muscles don't have muscles yet.
F. after I didn�t get a contract and my school locked me in a dungeon until I could pay back the air fare, my students insist I sleep in the classroom with me and my pay is that they stop the beatings for 5 minutes every other Sunday.

If you can help, _________________
A. email me! I forget my email address, but my computer is right here on my desk so it�s easy to find!
B. go to hell. I don�t want or need your imperialist, carnivore help.
C. send me a PM of your butt. Or teats. Or a recipe for a Fogcutter.
D. propose an original logic-programming expression of feature filtering.
E. smash your xyphoid! Wail on your traps! Max out the flanges!
F. send me an untraceable poison.

Bye,
A. and may Jesus Smile On You All!
B. pigs.
C. I�ve got three people back at my flat of various ages, sexes, and body-types, all of whom want to do obscene things to me in exchange for English lessons.
D. I hope this will help solve some semantic problems.
E. I�ve got to go pump myself.
F. I�m crying too much to type anymore.

[yaramaz]

[Lanza-Armonia]

side-splittingly funny but eye-twingingly twisted...

[dmb]

D, C, C, F, D. Although I chose a couple of answers because of a lack of choices(So they aren't totally honest)

[Sara Avalon]

been_there: what's your avatar from?

[lajzar]

That avatar is a scene from Brazil, which features most (all?) of the Monty Python crew. Well worth watching, and noted for its absolute lack of good vs evil - its all shades of grey in this morally ambiguous world. Its a walk through the mind of an insane man, although parts are slightkly disturbing. Well worth watching, although parts are strangely topical now...

"Sir, to what do you credit the latest terrorist attack?"

"Beginners luck."

"But the terrorist campaign is now into its 10th consecutive year."

[bayabule]

OP Been-there,
For question 1 I answer C, mainly drunk, but the other two also. Any males, not muscley females, who answer E feel free to PM me. As to the other Qs I can't really see straight to read them....

[Slim Pickens]

X

[ntropy]

Been There,


I love your "...isms cause schisms.." tag line and have been meaning to ask you, should the last part say "~ISTS clench fists?" instead of "~its clench fists?" If it shouldn't , I'm misunderstanding.

[been_there]

YES, didn't even notice, thanks for the edit, ntropy.

And I have to agree with Slim, BEST damn film ever.

My favorite line:

"I killed you."
"How about some necrophilia?"