Job Discussion Forums

[shantaram]

My partner is probably going to get a job offer from a university in Odessa, Texas, and wants to move there. There's a Masters in ESL program there he wants me to enrol in.

The thing is, we're a same-sex couple and I'm not sure Odessa is really the place for us to be.

Any thoughts? Please, no homophobia or debates about homosexuality. And no posts that go like this, "Odessa is NOT a monolithic entity, bla bla, naivety, ignorance, bla bla, doomed to disappointment."

[Vanica]

If Texas is anything like North Carolina, I can tell you two things:

my comment that the local rollerskating rink, with disco ball and Village People blaring, reminded me of Christopher Street in NYC, was not met kindly; and

my gaydar was off the charts at the coffee house near the seminary, though they were all wearing wedding bands.

Hope this helps.

[spiral78]

I would be really disappointed if you got any negativity on this forum regarding being gay. We're mostly people who live full time in different cultures, and I think we generally respect ways in which people can be different from each other.

I can't speak specifically for Odessa, but I do have friends who've experienced problems in other small cities in similar regions.

Being relatively visible (sans the anonmity offered by larger places) means that you're 'in the faces' of the local community - and to those who are uncomfortable with what they may see as offbeat lifestyles, well, it can make you a target...hopefully only in the figurative sense.

If it were me, I'd drag my feet on this move, for whatever very little that info is worth to you!

[shantaram]

Thanks for your advice guys. I've had a massive fight with my partner about it and he'd decided against all my advice that he's going to Odessa anyway, because to quote him "Anywhere in the United States is better than anywhere else in the world," and I "should be grateful to have the chance to breathe the air of the United States at all". We are at total opposites over this and I'm trying to tell him that he needs to be discerning over where he goes in the US, not just jump in anywhere and expect it to be great. He lived in Santa Barbera before and has travelled to New York and maybe he thinks everywhere in the States is like that. I've been to just one place, Seattle, but I think I know a bit more about the States than he does from basic cultural exposure over the years. It's turned into a rip-roaring fight. I think I'll let the dust settle and then drag my feet as much as possible without getting into a fight- he might move there and decide he doesn't like it, in the meantime I can find some other things to do, I have a working holiday visa for Canada for the next 18 months and am currently working in Montreal with the possibility of work in other places in Canada. I'm sure in no hurry to rush into the hinterland of Texas to take my masters over the next three years.

[spiral78]

Yeah, some places in the States are very sophisticated, and absolutely fantastic to live/work in.

But there are some serious backwaters, and things aren't always so clean...see Vanica's thread on the N. America forum regarding the school system in North Carolina and what it's doing to her daughter.

Prevaricate.. if he can go to Odessa by himself for a while and then tell you from personal experience that all will be well, that would be a different thing.

[jillford64]

If your partner thinks Odessa, TX is in anyway going to be like Santa Barbara, CA or New York, he is greatly mistaken. Odessa, with a population of less than 100K, is located in the flat plain of west Texas (hot, flat, dry, windy). The main source of income in this area is the oil business. Odessa is a far cry from the liberal environment of Austin or the anonymity that would be provided by the cities of Houston and Dallas. The jack rabbit is the symbol of the city, which in and of itself should give you cause for concern

[Symphany]

I would say to go with your gut on this one. Maybe you could do some research and pull up some URLs to show your partner in black and white that some areas aren't necessarily the most pleasant places to be. (Isn't that the case everywhere?)
If it comes to a point where you absolutely must go out there, I would suggest to try to contact LGBT groups in the area that may be able to help you, for instance giving you information about safe spaces in the area. Pflag has chapters across North America, you might want to try them (in the case that you can't put off the move any longer).

www.pflag.org

[Brooks]

wow,
well compared to Montreal, Odessa sounds pretty dismal.
I used to live in the panhandle, and I hated it there.

If you have to go to Texas, I would say Dallas or Austin would be better bets.

[NYCESOL11211]

Odessa is great...




If you are an oil field hand or a cowboy. Have you ever seen the Movie Friday Night Lights? Watch it. That's pretty much West Texas culture for you.

I've been all over the world, and I live in NYC. I would be as happy in Odessa as I would be on the Upper East Side. But that's just me. I'm not sure if I would want to be a gay person in West Texas.

Like someone else above said, Austin is a great town. I believe it is about 2 or 3 hours from Odessa. Austin is one of the great cities on the USA, IMO. But Dallas... forget it. Unless urban sprawl and urban cowboys are your thing.

Are you thinking about UTPB? I didn't know they had a TESOL program, but they do have an M.A. in composition and rhetoric. Good luck. If you end up there let us know how you are.

[ReeseDog]

[shantaram]

Hi,

Thankfully, the Odessa plan has fallen through completely, so I don't have to throw myself down the Odessa steps or anything. What a relief! Thanks for your interest.

shantaram