Job Discussion Forums

[dmb]

I do. All the time. On a regular basis.
But I do have my reasons.
To encourage speaking " Yes Hassan, I went to Bahrain at the weekend and met an Ethiopean prostitute."
"Really teacher? Yes........." Result- Conversation ensues

To encourage writing. "by tomorrow i want a 200 word review of your favourite film. And yes you will be marked and your points will be put into the computer. If you don't do it you will get zero and this could affect your final mark for the course and you might be fail the level" Result-they all do their homework.There is no computer to put their marks into. What they don't know can't hurt.

I only lie in order to get some work out of them.

What porkies do you tell your students?

[bayabule]

This is quite sad really, but I tell mine I have a boyfriend, when really I don't. His nationality changes from time to time, but he's always western and abroad, explaining why I'm not interested in dating their brothers and why I always turn up to social occasions without him!
I also have a whole imaginary family (hubby, kids, pets) reserved for converations with taxi drivers and beach sellers. Again the details change according to my mood, but they are always just on the brink of arriving to join me in Indo.
It just saves a lot of time and awkward conversation when travelling alone and it keeps me amused thinking stuff up.

[denise]

I don't lie, but sometimes I give evasive if they ask things (which they so rarely do anyway...) that I kinda think I shouldn't answer for the sake of my job. Like, "Have you ever done drugs?" Stuff like that.

d

[curveegrrl]

I lie all the time! But hopefully the lies are clear enough that my students know I'm not really serious.

However, one class did believe that I went to school with Britney Spears (for the record, I'm Canadian and a few years older than Ms Spears). One of the other teachers sort of talked them through it so they understood. So now I use good old Britney for everything. Did you know she's my best friend? Why her? She's just someone that every one knows -- but no one admits to liking (although someone is buying her CDs).

I also alude to having to flee my home country. That's why I teach English in other countries. It can be for as simple a reason as my mum dressing the dogs in sweaters. It might also be more sinister, like after not handing in their homework for three weeks. . .some of my Canadian students started going missing.

I'll say just about anything to distract students from the pain caused by phrasal verbs.

[foster]

Yup...constantly.

"Teacher, do you like us?"

ME:" OF course I do!!" - cringing on the inside.

I tell them I have a boyfriend, since apparently, being 32 and unmarried in HK is a crime. I tell them I don't drink. I tell them that I will stay here until I die or get kicked out.

Sometimes, the yes, this is for marks lie works. Sometimes I do it for kicks to see if they believe me....or understand me!

[Wolf]

I try not to lie, but I often refuse to tell the truth.

I tell my students that they can ask me anything - but that I might not necessarily answer.

My nationality, marital status, etc have little bearing in my students' progress, and I've become increasingly uncomfortable with the intrest some students can take in my personal affairs.

Sometimes I pretend to be a francophone, though. I do that to aviod the myriads of people who randomly come up to me on the street, bus, etc to practice English on me. I guess this is a lie, but I'm at a loss as to what else to do in this regard.

I also sometimes tell people I'm from Japan. Which is technically true (came to reside in China after residing in Japan.) I do this because:

-I know many Chinese don't like Japan and it might end the conversation.
-I got tired of beingn from Canada. Nova Scotia is part of Canada, but it's a good 1000km or more away from any place most Asians seem to know about. Revealing my nationality often ends up with my being asked questions I can't answer. "What's Vancouver like?" (Uh ... very ... Pacific.) "What city are you from?" (Uh ... 5000 people does not a city make....) etc.

[Joachim]

I try to answer the bare minimum of personal questions, but in Asia that's not easy. I would never tell my students that I smoke or that I'm gay, but am happy to talk about my family in pets in England, mainly because there isn't that much to say!

[Lynn]

I once lied to my employer in Korea on why I wouldn't extend my contract. I said,"It's time for me to get married and start a family" as I patted my belly. He never bothered me again to renew my contract.

[Celeste]

When the kiddies ask how old I am, I tell them I am a hundred.

I also had to decide on a bunch of favourite things and give consistant answers about them when quizzed by the little ones- they get very upset if you change your favourites.

[Snoopy]

I can't really add to dmb, because we used to work in the same place. Students (and supervisors) lie frequently, and it's just tit-for-tat in the Arab world.

[struelle]

[biffinbridge]

If you told the truth at a certain large oil company in Qatar ,you would find yourself on a plane home very quickly indeed.Being dishonest was a skills profile requirement.

[Cleopatra]

In Saudi Arabia, the ability to nonchalantly lie and be lied to is practically part of the job description. In fact, after a time you start not to even think of it as lying at all, rather as a prudent exercise in self-defence.

Answer in the affirmative to questions such as "Miss, do you drink wine?", or "Miss, you have boyfriend?" and the consequences may well come back to haunt you, probably when you least expect it.