Job Discussion Forums

doreenp · Joined: 13 Oct 2003 Posts: 147

If I may, I would like to impose on your banterings and request your help with a small problem i have. I have found these postings to be , for the most part, from well informed , extremely entertaining people with, it seems, many talents that lie in many different places. So on to my request.

I will be leaving my place of employment and after 2 1/2 years of working with these ladies, I am moving on for more sunnier destinations. These ladies are having a dinner for me and i know i will be called upon to say a few words, They are a fun group, this is not a serious thing. We have had a steady on going commentary on "dangling participles" and i must say that they are extremely good at coming up with what a dangling participle is, a definition that would never be found in any dictionary or grammar book.

So, I would like to make a poem, limerick, rhyme, or an "Ode to a Dangling Participle" sort of thing but alas, my talents lie elsewhere Laughing

and not in creating this sort of thing.

May I cheat and ask for your help? Any one with any writing talents out there that could help me out?

Many thanks, a "Newbie in hiding".

btw, when do you graduate from a Newbie to the formal "Tefler" status?

khmerhit · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 12:54 am Post subject:

Scanning Dave's boards with idle curiosity, my fingers clicked the mouse on the latest post. You want a poem with a dangling participle, you say?
Hmm. Can anyone help out there? I'll see what I can do, but I make no promises, Im afraid. Wandering on his way, his feet tripped over the curb..

lajzar · Joined: 09 Feb 2003 Posts: 647 Location: Saitama-ken, Japan

khmerhit, I had always assumed you are a guy. If that assumption of mine is correct, then I can only assume you picked that avatar out of a perverse sense of humour Question

khmerhit · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 1:24 am Post subject:

Perverse? Me? Most perspicacious of you, Sandwich, Lozwich, Lajzar Laughing

Yeah, it doesnt take much to keep me amused. It was intended for Capergirl but I STOLE it---ssssshhh... also, its the only avatar I have found that works properly.
kh Wink

khmerhit · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 1:46 am Post subject:

There was a young woman from Perth.
Though her diction was perfect from birth,
Her participles dangled
So often they mangled
Her native esteem and self-worth.

Lanza-Armonia · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 3:23 am Post subject:

An Ode to the danggling particle,
Is of joy, fun times and glee,
It likes to play all night and day,
Except when I have to pee.

I wake up every morning,
greeted by this rock.
The missus doesn't need to ask,
If she can suck my c--k.

After one's morning feast
(A great start to the day),
I relise it's my wife's brother
shi-te, boy? Am I gay?

I went to talk to the missus,
to see what she had'ta say.
She took the morning of her work,
so we could all go play.

Back upstairs, fast as children,
Clothes flying left and right.
I grabbed her se-xy hair and said,
"You're gunna come tonight".

On to our games, jumping on the bed,
The other guy feels left out, so he watches instead.
To see such a dangle that doesn't dangle anymore,
"I ode to your dangly bit, but she is still a *beep*".

I smacked him in the face with a four-iron dangle,
He fell to the floor with a bang.
With such a hard c ock knocking people out,
I have now no time to dang.

On with our ceromony,
Vivir Senorita!
She was more beautiful,
Than I ever s-exidita.

Passion by night, love by day,
Orgasms, multiple and true.
The white-stuff fires everywhere,
And sticks to her like glue.

There was so much of it that,
We stuck together all night.
We didn't know what to do,
So downstairs we took flight.

Phoned 999,
"We're on our way"
How are we gunna explain this,
No Idea, I play.

Trouble, dilema, a messy nuisance,
We were in a caper.
I just can't wait to see my friends,
When they read the morning paper.

This is The Ode To One's Dangly Bit
Stiff and gloryious pleasure on tap
Just be careful when you scream her name
Or bring your hard mat's hat!

---- Lanza-Armonia March 20th, 2003

What do you guys think of that one?
It's little dodgy but tweek it however you like

gingermeggs · Joined: 29 Jan 2004 Posts: 162

Lanza-Armonia · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 4:34 am Post subject:

My day job being teaching grammatically incorrect English to people who will never leave there home town, let alone the country, to use said English while I get to check out a fasinating country.

Try again John....

LA

Capergirl · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 1:44 pm Post subject:

johnslat · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 2:28 pm Post subject: To "B" or not to "B"

Dear doreenp,
Here's my offering:

"Letting a participle dangle,"
the teacher admonished the student,
"results in a terrible tangle
and really is highly imprudent."

"Making mistakes so egregious,"
the tutor continued quite heatedly,
"is nothing less than outrageous
so cease all such dangling immediately."

Looking abashed and regretful,
the student's reply was sincere.
"Forgive me for being forgetful
I'm a very slow learner, I fear.

"Remembering what you have told me,
my papers will henceforth be free
of errors for which you must scold me;
no more such mistakes will you see."

Hearing the student's contrition,
the teacher's eyes sparkled with glee,
"Knowing you have that ambition,
your grade will be changed to a 'B'."

Regards,
John

khmerhit · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 3:59 pm Post subject:

Dear John,

<Whistle.> Not bad.

Yours Sincerely,
Khmerhit

doreenp · Joined: 13 Oct 2003 Posts: 147

You have not failed me Very Happy

I knew that there was some creative and talented souls out there, but you have surpassed my expectations. I'm not sure if my lady friends will fully understand all the wit but that's okay, i probably won't be able to read them all thru without crackin up Laughing

Dee

johnslat · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 4:33 pm Post subject: Mellow Drama

Dear khmerhit,
Aw shucks ( he muttered with his eyes downcast, grinning abashedly),
'tweren't nothing. Thought your limerick was mighty good, too. But if I had a day job, I think I'd follow the advice given to another poster on this thread and hold onto it. Actually, I'll be "subbing" here in the Santa Fe public school system, starting March 29th through the 31st, teaching Drama classes those three days. Should be, well, interesting. I'll post about how it goes, provided I survive.
Regards,
John

khmerhit · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 6:33 pm Post subject:

Capergirl reasoned with typical astuteness

Lanza-Armonia · Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 6:37 pm Post subject:

la la la la la la <pi$$ed>

LA