Job Discussion Forums

[Ajan Provocateur]

Basically I don't want to live without female company or not being able to date.

So I'm nervous about living in the Middle Eastern countries though the contracts are attractive.

I don't want to live inside a giant mens only club.
I don't want to live in suspended animation.
I want a life, with all the parts intact. I don't want to be isolated, I don't want to turn into Silas Marner counting my gold alone at night in the candlelight.

I don't imagine you can date the local Arabic women so you have to look to your own expatriate poplulation?

Do the countries differ in these respects?
Which would be the most liberal of the countries?
Which has the largest foreign working polulation?
Are you able to meet and mingle freely with other working foreigners or even the native population?
Are the majority of foreign workers men?

I guess the word "RESTRICTIVE" is haunting me.

[basiltherat]

Hi
Syria is comparatively pretty liberal; particularly in the western regions; Damascus, Latakia (especially !), Homs and in other major towns there. Dating is fine and no need to be worried about being 'seen' with a local female.
Local ladies are also quite liberal. In Damascus, girls with headcover are quickly becoming the minority, for example.
Obviously, if one wants to go further, better to do it discreetly at home. Several hotels in Latakia accept unmarried couples but you might find it difficult in other towns.
If you do try to date less liberal girls, you may end up with issues with her relatives so beware.
Common sense rules, basically.
Despite having left a couple of years back, I doubt very much whether much has changed. If anything, I would imagine it has become more liberalised; not less.
Best
Basil

[helenl]

Dubai is probably the "best" option in this regard (so long as you can keep your "emotions" behind closed doors). Sheer numbers and availability of locations to meet and greet are probably highest there.

[15yearsinQ8]

forget the native population

if you're wanting a brief but intense relationship based on a business agreement, this is no problem
otherwise, buddy, you'll have to count on your personality which from your post sounds like you're in a hurry - good luck dude

[veiledsentiments]

The most freedom to mingle will be found in the North African countries and the Levant, but the money is low except at a very few places that require MAs and extensive experience. And, you may still find it a bit restrictive. The majority of local women will be off limits though in the larger cities things are more open.

As to the Gulf, outside of maybe Dubai, forget it. Yes, you are restricted to expats. The competition is pretty large. I would say that a very high percentage of foreign workers are men... it may be 90%, but they are mostly not your competition - as laborers from the subcontinent or wherever. But, even in TEFL and professional jobs, probably 70-80% are men in Saudi. Most expat women are in medicine, although there have been some new women's colleges starting up in the last few years. The numbers are better in the UAE.

This is the reason that the EFL crowd in the Gulf tends to be older... mostly married... and/or trying to build up the retirement fund or support the three ex-wives. The high pay that everyone hears about is mostly restricted to jobs that require at least an MA + usually 3 years of related experience or if you want to teach kids, you need certification from your home country to teach K-12.

The higher paying jobs that have lower requirements are pretty much all in Saudi and from your description above, you absolutely don't want to go there.

Dubai is the party town in the Gulf... relatively speaking, but you must take great care in public behavior. If you start looking for a job there, know that the cost of living is high, so a salary that seems high disappears fast if you have no benefits - like provided housing.

VS

[Ajan Provocateur]

Thanks for the answers to my post so far and the benefit of your experience.

It is genrally thought that the Gulf States pay well but that maybe life there can be pretty lonely or at least restrictive.

Your clarification here is very helpful.

I think the issues I spoke about are ones which many teachers have on their minds so keep the replies coming, it will be a useful resource.

[15yearsinQ8]

you hit it square on buddy, yes,
many teachers DO have this on their minds

[Cleopatra]

VS pretty much says it all.

The Middle East simply isn't the best place for men with 'dating' on their minds. Even in the more liberal Arab countries, there will be very few opportunities to 'date' local women in anything like the Western sense. Even very liberal Arabs, with a few exceptions, are still very conservative by Western standards, certainly when it comes to women.

In the Gulf countries, local women are most certainly off limits. There are large expat populations there, of course, but as VS says, most of them are men. I'm not saying there are no opportunities to meet women in KSA and the other Gulf countries, but as far as 'dating' goes, it's a women's market.

[denise]

There is a decent expat population in Oman, and upon first look they're all married with kids, older, etc., per the stereotype, but it's really not that bleak for singles once you start going out and doing things in town--although I've got to say that women have an easier time of it than men!

d

edit: I'm referring only to Muscat. In the smaller towns, you're very limited, often to your own colleagues.

[lollaerd]

Keep a low profile is the best advice anyone could offer. If you make your pecadiloes public, then you'll be in trouble.

[Desertsnake4532]

Cleopatra had a good point in that how people think of dating here is very different from how people think of dating in Western countries. I know a guy in Hebron, Palestine who has a girlfriend. They don't really mess around (as far as I can tell), but it just means that they are considering getting engaged. Not to say that it doesn't happen, but it can be harder depending on place to place.

If you really want be in a country where you can date and you are not sticking with Arab countries, go to Turkey. In major cities, there are plenty of women who you can easily date with very few problems. As for the Arab countries, the best ones seem to be Dubai, Lebanon, and Syria. I have been to Lebanon and it is possible, but it can be difficult (it's complicated).

[ejdmass]

However, if you are a woman in the middle east every man you will ever meet anywhere will try to date you.

It's like being a white guy in korea.

[sharter]

In the Middle East it is not impossible to find love or even 'change the oil as Arabs say'.

I was married but before that I met another English teacher. Most of my male friends also met other English teachers or girls that worked in hotels etc. Lots of Eastern European musicians about inn hotel receptions etc.

Of course, Dubai and Bahrain are absolutely chocka with hookers......who vary in price depending largely on country of origin and how pished you are.

On balance, I'd forget the ME for getting your oats........ugly expat women behave like J-Lo out there and as a teacher you ain't rich enough anyway.

[007]

[Cleopatra]