Job Discussion Forums

[darkcity]

what do you guys reckon about the friendships/relationships in Jakarta?

I've been teaching in Seoul, South Korea for the past year and a half, and part of the reason I've had such a sour experience is that it's so difficult to make friends and meet friends. don't get me wrong -- i have a handful of great friends in korea -- but everyone is so busy and stressed with work that it's actually considered normal, even frequent, to meet and hang out once a month.

I had a good experience last month, when I vacationed around Indonesia with my Indonesian exgirlfriend/now best friend...but vacationing and living are different. i've already had enough loneliness and stress in Seoul, I don't want the same experience in Jakarta.

if someone is looking for a chill place to work and meet some genuine friends, and learn a few new things about life, do you think Jakarta is a good choice?

[rayman]

It's difficult to answer your question without making generalisations as a lot depends on your personality and circumstances.

But I'd say it's unlikely you would ever feel lonely in Jakarta. It's very easy to make friends. Although probably a little harder than in the West to make good connections. But that would probably go for any Asian country.

It just takes more time here. Plus, it may not be immediately apparent what someone's motive is for the friendship. Once you sort the riff raff from the legitimate, you can quite easily have a tight knit, loyal circle of friends in Jakarta. In fact, the vast majority are fun loving and enjoy socialising on a range of levels.

On the whole, the social scene would be a positive, rather than negative aspect of Jakarta. I'd imagine that would be quite the opposite for South Korea

[darkcity]

one of the common complaints of teachers in Korea is that many Korean friends exist solely to practice their English on you. It's either that or a look-at-me-I-have-a-foreigner-friend vibe.

I presume Indonesia is less obsessed about English and already have a firm grasp on the language, but I did have the uncomfortable experience of paying for EVERYONE for almost EVERYTHING when I hung out with my Indonesian friend and her friends last month. The only reason I did it without protest is because I trust that friend.

Picking legitmate friends from those with alterior motives is a necessary task in any country. I just hope when/if I do go, that I will have something to do on weekends, rather than hoard inhuman amounts of Japanese porn, as is the case in Seoul (the bandwidth here is amazing).

[father Mackenzie]

I think you have had a taste of life here with the expectation you can pay for everything if you hang out with just Indonesians. Although after time that does stop. Refusing often helps.

There are plenty of places to go at the weekends here and all the expat bars through the city are fun, entertaining and friendly and that is a good thing when you are new to the city.

[ljb]

Hi

I have to say I worked in China and I had the same impression, friends with a foreigner did carry prestige and/or the opportunity to practice English, but within that I did manage to meet some very genuine people whom I liked very much.

Here I would say it is different and if you use your instincts well it is easy to feel who wants what from you! I have a very close circle of friends, some from my workplace, others Indonesian, others from other professions. I have networked and worked hard to maintain these friendships as lives do take over and being stuck in traffic jams can equate to half of your spare time!!!!

Indonesian people have busy lives with families and so on and they potentially will not earn the money to hang out with you in places equipped for foreigners but that does not mean you can't share yourself about and find a mixture of people who meet your needs in different ways.

I would envisage no problem but like anywhere you have to put yourself out there.

I know that some of the teachers I work with, contacted people on forums before they came and managed to build friendships that way, this can make your transition into Indonesia more positive.

There are also social networks and clubs depending on your interests that are available to foreigners so I am sure you will not feel too isolated for too long.

Good luck.

[malu]

[darkcity]

Thanks for the comments, guys. it's helpful to have this information before i make my decision.

i will say that the korean board is full of bitching, moaning, and overall bitterness. the indonesian board seems a lot more ho-hum, c'est la vie about the whole situation.

[rayman]

One thing I was just thinking about the other day, is that you if you make some effort, you never seem to get rejected conversationally here. Whether it be a shop assistant, someone on the street or at a bar, people will almost always repsond positively and be willing to engage. Indonesians don't tend to have the hang-ups, mistrust or chips on the shoulder that a lot of other people have.

[ljb]

I have to agree with that. I think if you want a chat or need some company it is fine to talk to the person next to you who will respond favourably in most instances.

Quite often people want to engage to the point where I feel overwhelmed with attention. I have found by appearing much more approachable to most I have made some pleasant acquaintances in the lift, the gym and bars all of whom have the potential to become positive friendships.

Indonesia is a very friendly place if you are open to it.

[darkcity]

not terribly important, but the conversations are initiated in bahasa indonesia or english?

i'm self-studying indonesian at the moment, but i wouldn't say i have the confidence to engage in a full-blown conversation yet.

[father Mackenzie]

That depends on your confidence. Some Indonesians will welcome you trying to speak Indonesian with them and some will spend all day correcting you. Also, you may find those that will immediately think you speak the language completely and then speak to you in full Indonesian which may just throw you off guard.
Dont forget, once people know that you are an English teacher they might try and speak in English with you to impress you, get a free lesson etc.
I normally speak English and go from there. It seems to work for me.

[rayman]

[vema123]

Indonesians are relatively easy to make friends with. But it's rather difficult to make friends in Indonesia if you can't speak Indonesian well.

[Madame J]

[tanyakenapa]

When I first moved to Indonesia in 1990 I couldnt speak it at all, and most of the people I met couldn't speak english. However by hanging out with the Indonesians (who couldn't speak english at all if any just a little) I became fluent in Indonesian within about two years.

I learnt the street language from my friends and also decided to study Bahasa Indonesia at JIS (whilst I was a student there) so I learnt the formal language and completed it to IB level as well. My IB score for Indonesian was actually way higher than my IB English... LOL ...

When you are a student at JIS is was (maybe still is) a requirement by Indonesian government that all students must at least take one semester of Basic Bahasa Indonesia

I'm still friends with the first people I learnt Bahasa Indonesia from today...