Job Discussion Forums

spiral78 · Joined: 05 Apr 2004 Posts: 11534 Location: On a Short Leash

Interesting. Well, I have lived and worked in university towns, so maybe the libraries are open later...anyway I've always found quite cafes or restaurants around as well.

Maybe it's a gender issue: DO MALE TEACHERS FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE HAVING STUDENTS COME TO THEIR HOME?

johnslat · Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 8:01 pm Post subject:

Dear Stphen,

"And just as a matter of interest John if you were a milkman or a postman would you refuse to date anybody you delivered the milk or mail to.

What about if you were a mechanic? Would you refuse to date a lady who trusted you to repair their car (after all this is when you see females at their most vulnerable).

What about being a driving instructor and dating somebody you were teaching to drive, or a film director dating the leading actress or the tea lady."

Ready for a laugh? It's because I believe teaching, unlike those others you mentioned, is a profession rather than just a job. I also believe that dating a student you're currently teaching in a class almost inevitably raises problems of favoritism, envy, and very possibly a conflict of interests between maintaining the standards that your employer has the right to expect and one's own personal standards.
Actually, even with the examples you gave above, a good possibility exists, I'd say, for problems. Would the lady want "free milk?" Maybe. Would the lady want free parts and labor at the garage? Possibly. Would the lady want to pass the driving course even though she couldn't tell the horn from the brake? Perhaps. Would the actress want her part expanded at the expense of thew script and the other actors? Probably.
The postman - well - that seems safe enough. Especially if he always rings twice.
WOuld any or all of these things have to happen? Nope - but they certainly could. And if they did, would you say the heck with my integrity?
Regards,
John

ssjup81 · Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 8:34 pm Post subject:

IMO, "job" or "career", regardless of how one feels about the occupation, a teacher should always have restraint and not date a student. It may be fun in a work of fiction, but irl, should be avoided at all costs.

SueH · Joined: 01 Feb 2003 Posts: 1022 Location: Northern Italy

I work from home (when I'm not at the primary school) and have no qualms about having students here. Mind you I have a 3 bedroom flat with one room as a study with all my books and equipment, so they don't see the rest of my mess. Perhaps age comes into it, but I don't think it has even crossed my mind that I'd get involved with student.

Hot2GlobeTrot · Joined: 01 Sep 2009 Posts: 82 Location: Calgary, Canada

Hot2GlobeTrot · Joined: 01 Sep 2009 Posts: 82 Location: Calgary, Canada

Hot2GlobeTrot · Joined: 01 Sep 2009 Posts: 82 Location: Calgary, Canada

Hot2GlobeTrot · Joined: 01 Sep 2009 Posts: 82 Location: Calgary, Canada

johnslat · Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:33 pm Post subject:

Dear Hot2GlobeTrot,

" . . . when we get a teaching degree to become a public high school teacher or university prof, that's a professional career."

I have a teaching degree, an MA and am state certified; I teach credit classes at the local community college as well as ESL classes there.

"tell a mechanic that what he does is just a job... "

What do you think he'd call it? That's what the guy who services my Honda at Rising Sun Motors calls it.

So, what you do IS a job, but what your mechanic does ISN'T a job?

" . . , are the jobbers less capable than the careerists? Depends i guess, but this isn't rocket science; there's a limit to what you can learn."

Generally speaking, I'd say the "jobbers" are often a good deal less capable than the "careerists." And, to tell you the truth, I really don't think there's a limit to what I can learn. After more than thirty years teaching English, I'm still always learning. But hey - maybe I'm just a slow learner.

Regards,
John

Stephen Jones · Joined: 21 Feb 2003 Posts: 4124

I don't think anybody is expecting you to say you're doing a CELTA because you want to have a career in EFL, though many end up doing so.

And as John has said, there are many of us in EFL who are career teachers.

(But now Hot2GlobeTrot in revenge for our hijacking his).

mozzar · Joined: 16 May 2009 Posts: 339 Location: France

rusmeister · Joined: 15 Jun 2006 Posts: 867 Location: Russia

This is a perfect example of where what you believe intersects your professional life, and of the relevance of one's philosophy/worldview/religion(or lack of one) to the teaching profession. Unfortunately, we aren't allowed to talk about worldviews here because of a perception that they have nothing to do with our jobs (even though they have everything to do with any human activity). Philosophy in the sense of 'worldview' is the first thing that determines how we see anything that we engage in, and your ideas of 'professional', 'ethical' and 'moral' will spring from that. (This includes your attitudes towards 'underage dating' and the ability to judge it.)

To John: I'll just suggest that you consider the etymology and usage of 'ethical' vs 'moral'. I see differences only on the level of sophistry, and think that the word 'ethical' has largely replaced 'moral' because of a mostly unfounded assumption of religious connection. A great test is to take language used by our ancestors one, two, three hundred years ago to express the same phenomenon (like when people began to speak of "relationships" and "love-life" in regard to the relations between the sexes (er, 'genders'). Changes in language in cases like these actually reflect changes in moral attitudes and begin life as obvious euphemisms. After a generation passes, people cease to perceive them as euphemisms. Far from a tendency to more accurately express the true nature of things, language has at least as much of a tendency to conceal the truth. I, for one, prefer the 'coarse' language of our fathers (nod to GKC), and so say 'morality' and 'the sexes' rather than 'ethics' and 'gender'.

Sadebugo · Joined: 10 May 2003 Posts: 524

Hmm, I like this thread because it's relevant to my current situation. When I was teaching in Korea a long time ago, there were always the occasional crushes by students much younger than me but it never amounted to anything nor led to any problems that I recall. However, in one of my present classes, a student has made her intentions clear and I have not shut her down immediately as I should have. This has caused me great difficulties in class, not because the other students are aware of anything, but because this student causes problems whenever I give attention to anyone else! It's become quite annoying the last few weeks and I must figure out a way to deal with it. (I already spoke to her but the behavior has not changed)

So, my conclusion is no relationships with students if you want to maintain a peaceful teaching environment. If s/he's the ONE though, you can perhaps develop a friendship while teaching and pursue more when the student is no longer a student.

Just my two cents.

Sadebugo
http://travldawrld.blogspot.com/

Hot2GlobeTrot · Joined: 01 Sep 2009 Posts: 82 Location: Calgary, Canada