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| What's your attitude to conversation lessons? |
| Personal issues are where my students have the most to say. Bring it on . |
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12% |
[ 1 ] |
| I stear the conversation away from some personal topics It's not professional. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| I keep the conversation intellectual. I want intelligent conversation about topics of public interest. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| I go with the flow unless I start to feel uncomfortable. |
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87% |
[ 7 ] |
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| Total Votes : 8 |
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Master Shake
Joined: 03 Nov 2006
Posts: 1202
Location: Colorado, USA
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 Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 8:05 pm Post subject: Are conversation lessons paying for friendship/therapy? |
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A friend of mine told me a story about how he spent a recent lesson with a wealthy, Polish, private student who had just split up with her husband of several years.
She spent the entire lesson in tears, talking without pause for 90 minutes about how much she missed her ex, how she could still see signs that he loved her, how their sex life had been so great and so on.
The end of the lesson. She dabs away the tears. They both stand up. My friend, feeling more than a little uncomfortable at this point, gives her a hug and tells her things will get better, giving some uplifting examples from his own past relationships.
She goes to get her ivory pocketbook...
Could this be your conversation lesson? Do you avoid / encourage conversation about personal topics? Is the situation above ethical and professional? |
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Justin Trullinger
Joined: 28 Jan 2005
Posts: 3110
Location: Seoul, South Korea and Myanmar for a bit
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| Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 8:11 pm Post subject: |
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One of the reasons that I don't do conversation classes...maybe it ain't always that way, but it sure seems common.
In general English classes, I'm happy to include debate and discussion about potentially interesting topics, and I've got nothing against being a little controversial. But English class ain't therapy, and it ain't social time. Getting too personal doesn't help anybody's English, in my opinion.
Had I been your friend, I'd have cut the class short, saying "I'm sorry this is a bad time for you, but you're obviously too upset to have English class" and left.
Best,
Justin |
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fluffyhamster
Joined: 13 Mar 2005
Posts: 3292
Location: UK > China > Japan > UK again
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| Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Master Shake wrote: |
| A friend of mine told me a story about how he spent a recent lesson with a wealthy, Polish, private student who had just split up with her husband of several years. ..... |
That's the danger with private conversation "lessons" especially. If the student or better yet the teacher were honest, they would admit that if somebody can already speak enough English to hold their own in a halfway decent conversation, there isn't really a whole lot linguistically that they can be taught or learn - which obviously leads to the question of why exactly they are paying for the teacher's time.
In Japan I had to teach a few 1-to-1 classes within an eikaiwa, but there it wasn't so much friendship or therapy as indulgence - allowing people to "interest" you too in all manner of hobbies or passions, from dress-making to trainspotting through to (IIRC) investigating singularities at the observable edges of the sun, as a way of making (taking?) money for the employer and I guess ultimately me. Anyway, the point is that these were things that they obviously couldn't talk about enough in just Japanese to Japanese - learn two languages and you can become twice the potential bore! (But actually I am a very indulgent type, and some of it was quite pleasant and even interesting - that is, as a "professional listener" at least, I really did try to take as much of a genuine and not just "polite" interest as possible (and that genuineness would sometimes involve e.g. very mild irony or sarcasm, things that are all too often, and I would argue unfortunately, missing from teachers' speech!)).
Perhaps the best thing would be for "conversation schools" generally to get a lot more serious about the potential "methodology" of "teaching" conversation, and then only to those who really need still to learn "it", but of course that would involve too much work for everyone delivering "the" programme, and would be risking no more milking the cash cow (and who knows, its udders really might then burst!). (By the way, for those interested, over on the Teacher Discussion forums I and others have pondered how conversational skills might be developed better than they usually are (or rather, aren't!)). |
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denise
Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 3419
Location: finally home-ish
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| Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 6:50 am Post subject: |
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That story is one of many reasons why I've never given private lessons.
d |
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jpvanderwerf2001
Joined: 02 Oct 2003
Posts: 1117
Location: New York
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| Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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I can listen; it's not a problem. My opinion is that they are practicing English, and if they just want to chat about everyday trials and tribulations, so be it.
I've never had someone completely break down, though... |
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Sashadroogie
Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 11061
Location: Moskva, The Workers' Paradise
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| Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Have to say I'm with JP. It's their money: they can waste it anyway they want. They may even feel it was well spent. So long as we don't feel the need to solve their problem, there is no real problem. |
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gaijinalways
Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Posts: 2279
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| Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 3:23 am Post subject: |
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jpvanderwerf2001 posted
| Quote: |
I can listen; it's not a problem. My opinion is that they are practicing English, and if they just want to chat about everyday trials and tribulations, so be it.
I've never had someone completely break down, though... |
Definately agree. I would take the opportunity to correct or help them state what they have problems saying, or note errors to cover for another lesson.
Sashadroogie posted
| Quote: |
| Have to say I'm with JP. It's their money: they can waste it anyway they want. They may even feel it was well spent. So long as we don't feel the need to solve their problem, there is no real problem. |
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But it's not wasted time (or money), see my above comments.
fluffyhamster said
| Quote: |
| That's the danger with private conversation "lessons" especially. If the student or better yet the teacher were honest, they would admit that if somebody can already speak enough English to hold their own in a halfway decent conversation, there isn't really a whole lot linguistically that they can be taught or learn - which obviously leads to the question of why exactly they are paying for the teacher's time. |
I disagree. There is no danger, except what you might do with the information.
As to not being able to teach them more linguistically, you must think speaking is a lot easier than I do. Being able to hold your own in conversation about a limited number of topics hardly means that you don't need to study (and hopefully learn) more about that language. |
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Molson
Joined: 01 May 2009
Posts: 137
Location: China
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| Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 4:38 am Post subject: |
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