Job Discussion Forums

dmb · Joined: 12 Feb 2003 Posts: 8397

i'm in Qatar at the moment. OK I'm no expert as I've only been here about 20 months. I spent ten years in Turkey and without a doubt I can say that life in Istanbul is better than Doha. There is more to life than a pay cheque. Quality of life?

schminken · Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 3:58 pm Post subject:

I've pretty much lost contact with all my "friends" in the States. We are now down to a yearly Christmas email. I love what I do and I've long excepted that high friend turnover is part of the job. This is also the case within the country I'm living. Oftentimes I make friends with other expats and we hang out for a while but then they never stick around as long as I do. It can be a surreal life.

I am lucky in that my parents have always said, "We want you to be happy". But there is always an unsaid "but" tacked on the end. My parents are older now and not in the best of health. I always feel guilty for being here and my relatives sometimes look down on me because they think I should be close to my parents and take care of them. I don't know what to do sometimes.

Stephen Jones · Joined: 21 Feb 2003 Posts: 4124

chinook · Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 6 Location: Vancouver, Canada

My parents have so far been generally very supportive while I was living in Scotland and seem happy enough with the idea that I want to go to Korea. And should I ever return "home", it would be to Scotland not Canada (Scottish boyfriend how seems far more homesick than myself).

However, recently when i was visiting for 2 months before moving to vancouver-so i my home country, but still a long plane flight away from the family-my mum said to me "would you really go and live in scotland forever and have grandchildren that i would never get to see?"

the thing is yes, i probably will. and if things don't work out with scottish boy, i still wouldn't move back "home" in all likelihood. but i also can understand that my choice does affect the family in a real and serious way. i won't give up living my life, but i do understand that i am requiring my family to make sacrifices as a result.

as for friends, that can be harder and easier. they don't have any issues with me wandering off, but i must admit, when i visit for a couple of months it is always very hard to leave again. good friends are so important, and there is nothing like living in the same city. email is wonderful, but it just can't replace personal contact.

Alyallen · Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 5

I haven't moved overseas yet but I did go to S. Korea as a foreign exchange student 2 years ago. It was a great experience for me. I learned that I'm not the type to clinge to family, friends, places, things, and other assorted ideas (hence no homesickness). So my decision to find a job in S. Korea is not a great shock. My parents don't know yet but they won't have an issue..since my mom encouraged me to go to S. Korea in the first place!

Living all over the place, and learning something new everyday just makes life that much fuller to me.

Can't wait till I'm in S. Korea again... Laughing

naturegirl321 · Joined: 04 May 2003 Posts: 9041 Location: home sweet home

guest of Japan · Joined: 28 Feb 2003 Posts: 1601 Location: Japan

Mymother wrote in a letter once, "I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for." I often wonder if she knows something I don't.

dmb · Joined: 12 Feb 2003 Posts: 8397

scot47 · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Posts: 15343

"Rosebud" is a common literary metaphor in many languages for a certain part of the female anatomy.

Modesty dictates that I should not name it.

Hence the use of the expression "deflower" !

khmerhit · Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:26 pm Post subject:

Dr Scot, you have rosebuds on the brain. That's OK Wink

.
kh

zaneth · Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2004 6:37 pm Post subject:

I too took ten years to complete my BA, wandering back and forth and traveling. Nice to know I'm not the only one.

And I love reading these posts from like-minded people.

But man, there's a little sadness to it. I have a little kid now. And a wife who is not in any way interested in living in America. And my mother's health is very poor. She might never see her grandkid. It puts a different spin on things. It hurts sometimes to look back on how naive I was.

I never thought of myself as the homesickness type. I was always going back and forth. But it was different when I could go back and forth.

Looking at my daughter, I think I've only begun to learn about the attachment to family that I used to look down on my mother for.

Learning different things now, trying to adjust my mind. Trying to connect with this land and think about standing on the earth, not in a particular country/culture.

pamantha · Joined: 05 May 2004 Posts: 15

wow zaneth, your post holds a lot of truth i think. there are always two sides to the coin. funny how no one responded after that one til now... i hope your mom is doing okay.

i was interested in this thread b/c after months of reading the boards i'm about to set sail on my own adventure. my numbered days are now spent with the realization of the planned obsolescence of life as i know it. i'm contemplating all the things i know i'll miss (and won't) and the inevitable litany of questions trying to understanding my decision to leave a 'good' job in the us. who cares if you are bored and restless, under worked and over paid if you have i have job secruity, good healthcare and a growing 401K, right?

but i'm also 25. no mortgate, kids, car payments.... isn't exploring and learning what i'm SUPPOSED to be doing now ? i'm seeking life, adventure, dreams and stories to tell my kids. but i've also traveled enough to know that the excitment of new lands and people only lasts so long before the drudgery of even something as wonderful as travel hits you. i can remember being on a trip once and thinking 'this will be so much better when i'm reliving it AFTERwards. right now, it all kinds sucks. ' perhaps i'm not the intrepid traveler as some of you.

but anyway....it doesnt' matter to me if this is a short-term love afair or a long one. i'm open. either way its all good.

4nic8r · Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 68

This was an interesting thread... glad it was brought back up.

Having not been back in home in abut 5 years, I almost wonder about the reverse culture shock going back home. I don't really talk to my family, maybe once a year, so don't really have a clue what's going on back where I live. I know it's not a good thing.. but.. there's a big world to see.

Biggest thing I did notice.. the last time I went home.. was trying to explain what it is like to live abroad, experience things etc.. it all fell on deaf ears.. I gave up after the 3rd day of being home. Nobody had a clue what was going on outside of their neighborhood, let alone the world..

pamantha · Joined: 05 May 2004 Posts: 15

I definately agree, it is impossible to convey life abroad. I guess its true for anything the other person hasn't experienced.

johnslat · Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 6:25 pm Post subject: Small worlds

Dear 4nic8r,