Job Discussion Forums

[ntropy]

[ntropy]

That BEEP was meant to say W H O R E before the censor caught it.

[nomadder]

Hey Denise ignore my question on the other thread as you answered it here. Well as you know I�m in Guatemala and spent 3 years in Japan so here are my thoughts on the Latin American culture (so far) which includes Mex and Guat vs. Japan.

I too am thinking of work in South America eventually and I fear I will only sign on for a short stint in order to get back to Asia. Yes there is the money thing and also I hope to travel a bit in Asia again before the money runs out and I go back to make more in Japan. But maybe I should savor L.Am down to the last peso before heading back. Not sure.

Yes the culture is more interesting than in Japan and of course you already know the language is much easier and people generally a little easier to talk to yet when I meet Japanese travellers I still feel a bit nostalgic. On the other hand I could have forgotten all that I disliked before and be super bored and frustrated there. I plan another 3 years only though. I also plan to get more serious about language study there. Focus on other concrete things like teaching, writing, hobbies, even karaoke rather than fleeting, frustrating relationships and the like.

I agree that learning the language gives you a deeper connection to the place but also Japanese study can be frustrating. So after all this I would say, stay in Japan as long as you can handle it. TAke a trip if your budget can handle it and then go to CHile. See what you think. You can always go back to Japan or go to another place if you tire of South America. Meanwhile save that yen while you can.

Also one hassle here is worrying much more about personal safely esp as it gets dark and deserted so early. ONe look at a newspaper can scare the h*ll out of you. Obviously it�s hard to ever save money here so I would come to really savor the place and enjoy the culture. And I sort of miss Japanese food. Mexico�s cuisine is pretty good but elsewhere can be average at times or so I�ve been told. But it is more interesting overall for sure and less robotic.

Also to the poster in Mex. I find the Guatemalans much more interesting, lively and friendly than the Mexicans. Personally Oaxaca City felt bland and not so friendly to me. The landscape is gorgeous though in that state.

[James_T_Kirk]

[Shaman]

I can relate to what you're going through, denise. I teeter-tottered for a full half year on the thought of signing on for a second year in Japan. After careful deliberation, I decided it wasn't for me.

One of the problems with living in a foreign culture is the depths of the low times. They can prove exponentially worse than they usually might under other circumstances.

Beware of overthinking the situation. Being careful is one thing. Yet, analysis left unchecked can lead to paralysis. Just make sure that rationalizing doesn't leave you spinning your wheels.

The good news is that this situation will not last forever.

Good luck. One way or the other, things will definitely get better.

Shaman

[Joachim]

Denise,

I'm in a similar place to you right now. At times I'm not really into Hong Kong - the people are (without doubt) the rudest people I have ever met while travelling and I have travelled a lot!. the weather has been sucky for months now and the hours I work are too long, the students aren't especially motivated and it can be very dull.

I moved here for love and that didn't work out, so sometimes I wonder what I'm doing - it's a plan I have about saving money and preparing for my next adventure - although sometimes impatience really gets to me.

Take a trip somewhere - blow a few hundred grand (Yen) and remind yourself of the best part of travelling.....

[Kitegirl]

Boy Denise, have you ever opened up a can of worms!

My money is on your going. Sure maybe it's a certain time marker that you hit, but if you feel this way now, there's a good chance you're only going to feel even worse if you don't follow your instincts.
Once I wanted to get hell out of somewhere and let pride get in the way. It worked out, but it was lousy reasoning.
My motto is you can start over as often as you like. And know what? You can change your mind too. So you don't like Chile? Move on or go back to Japan.
Life is really too short to not follow your heart. (And I'm only 32 okay!)

Seriously though, a friend of mine felt iffy yet signed on for a third year in Korea and though she stuck it out, it was the wrong move. Continue your big think, and then go for whatever makes you happy now, today, instead of the big picture.

[leby26]

Denise, I know you might try to reason your way out of it and second guess yourself constantly - but please don't compromise yourself sweetie - follow your gut, life's too short to be miserable. Reading your original post (although the drinks might've contributed), it sounds like you already know your answer. Don't be the cause of your own misery by waiting for things to get better on their own - take chances and keep smiling

[denise]

Wow!!!

Thank you a zillion times for all of your kind words! I feel MUCH better after reading all of your posts & realizing that I'm not alone. (And I know I'm also not alone at my school--we all get frustrated, have felt burn-out, etc.).

I'm not one to break a contract, but maybe telling myself in advance--like, before I ever set foot in Japan--that I would stay for three years wasn't the wisest thing to do. I didn't allow for the possibility that I might not like it. Rather than rigidly sticking to my three-year plan, I think I just need to see how next year goes and then decide how much longer to stay.

I also need to make sure I've properly diagnosed the problem: is it Japan that is bringing me down, or is it the weird man situation that I'm in? Men tend to affect me way more than they should, and maybe my current situation is coloring my view of everything.

Damn, here I go thinking too much again, even after being advised not to! (And damn good advice that was, too!)

Thanks again, everyone. You've really cheered me up.



d

[yaramaz]

I feel like I should jump in since I led this thread on the Turkey forum a few months ago... but I am not sure I want to re-open up my own can of (halaal) worms. Yup, symptoms are all there: nearing 30, contract renewal, good money, series of futile and underwhelming relationships that went nowhere, the inability to really be myself and do things I really want to do due to culture, language, religion...

I went through a serious long dark tea time of the soul this winter and was quite prepared to pull a midnight runner on several occasions. It was that bad. But spring has sprung and the grass is riz etc, and things are looking up and elsewhere... I have conclusively closed the book on my grey little B'Ataturk lair and will move somewhere more.... mmmm....easy. I think a big problem when you are living in another country is isolation and alienation. I chose one of the most austere, conservative, religious cities to move to. Hm. On a short jaunt to Ankara this weekend, I felt like I was in a foreign country: Chinese food! English books! Middle ages women not covered from head to toe and scowling through headscarves! Drinking beer in public! They are small details but they lifted my spirits considerably.

I think this winter and its series of brutal coincidences hit me harder than necessary because I was so isolated with so few resources available to keep me balanced. In the past, I took art classes to stay focussed-- a few hours on the pottery wheel is a great thing. Cant do that here. Can't go running in public. No swimming pools for women anywhere nearby. No dance classes or funky cafes or bookstores. Dry. Dry dry dry. Cant really do anything here except business, prayer, gossip...

Denise, maybe you just need to move around within Japan. Maybe somewhere bigger or smaller, greener or livelier. A change of scenery might help.

[Aramas]

I'm planning on heading to South America at the end of the year, so I've been researching it for a while now.

According to 'other' South Americans, Chilenos are second only to Gauchos (Argentinians) as the snottiest and most anal population on the continent.

I heard a joke about a Brazilian girl that ran home to her mother crying, and told her she'd been r@ped by an Argentinian. Her mother asked how she knew it was an Argie, and she replied "He made me thank him afterwards!" (I heard that from a Brazilian, so don't blame me).

The most 'user friendly' countries seem to be Brazil, Ecuador, Colombia and Peru. Ecuador and Colombia would be the easiest for work visas, which are effectively impossible in Brazil - I'm unsure of the situation in Peru at present, but it can't be as bad as Brazil.

As for Japan, I can't imagine why anyone would go there in the first place unless their passion was something Japanese in origin (eg martial arts, manga, sushi etc). I want to get away from the herd mentality so shacking up with a hive mind would be step in the wrong direction for me.

[dmb]

Yaramaz, you say you are moving on somewhere more easy. Do you know where yet?

[struelle]

[red]

[yaramaz]

dmb, I am not sure yet but it will definitely still be in Turkey... just not looney tunes Ataturkburg! I am applying for a few jobs in Istanbul and Ankara. We shall see. I'm not ready to give up on Turkey yet. It's a pity my school wasnt in another city-- I am actually really happy here. Nice enough kids, great pay, sane hours, very supportive colleagues. My flat is lovely too, except I share it with a sullen, grouchy spinster who hates me. It the life outside the school walls that gets to me. Some days I just cant bear to go outside in the evening because... there is nothing there. Two years of uninspiring nothingness gets repetitive after a while. Grey. Grey boulevard. Concrete block flats as far as the eye can see. Stupefyingly dull shops: mobile phones, kuru yemis, hole in the wall graceries, fake flower shops, bakery, smokey testosterone-laced okey salonu, kebab kebab fekkin kebab... Nowhere to unwind, nowhere to hide. Headscarves glaring from all sides, men leering, boys following, chanting rude things, selpak kids hustling at your knees...

So, yeah, maybe Ankara or Istanbul. Or Izmir. We shall see. When are you coming back to the land of Ataboy?