Job Discussion Forums

[misterkodak]

I'd say the non-muslim lady married to the muslim man won't face as many problems here as say a muslim lady married to a non-muslim man.

[bedwiya]

I taught k-12 in Kuwait for many years. Children of Muslim fathers were automatically put in daily religion classes, even if one or both of the parents were not religious. The only kids I knew who could get out of the class were foreign kids who had parents that were both non-Muslim. Apparently it used to be easier to have the child removed if the Kuwaiti father came in and signed some papers saying he didn't want his child to attend the class, but times have changed. Now it is almost impossible, unless some major wasta is used. Although we did have some Kuwaiti Christians at our school - don't know what they did with those kids...would be interesting to find out.

[scot47]

Kuwaiti Christians ? There cannot be many of them !

[bedwiya]

There are about 150-200 Kuwaiti Christians here. In fact, this father was a pastor - wore a little white collar which showed through his dishdasha - quite a strange sight. Of course the Kuwaitis will tell you they are not "real" Kuwaitis. There were Jews here as well until about 50 years ago, although many Kuwaitis today will deny that as well.

[bluecatbabe]

A friend in the UAE who is technically a Muslim (converted nominally when she married her Muslim ex) has better parental rights over her daughters than she would have done if she were not a Muslim. The husband can demand custody once the child is over the age of 7 (for girls: I think it's younger for sons) but the application can be contested if the mother is Muslim. As it is he doesn't want custody, but she has bribed him in the past to allow her to take her daughters out of the country on holiday - Muslim children can't travel here without the father's permission.

[trapezius]

Not being able to see her children forever is a very real risk a non-Muslim woman takes when she marries a Muslim man and goes to live in his country, particularly an Arab man/country.

[veiledsentiments]

That can even happen to a Muslim woman of another nationality. Loss of her children is an ever present danger for women in a Muslim country.

VS

[bedwiya]

Girls can stay with the mother longer than boys (7 for boys and 9 for girls I believe) although the Shia use different ages and can usually take them immediately or sooner than the 7/9. A foreign wife who converts should technically have more rights to the children as a Muslim - but the national usually always wins out - regardless of the mother's piousness. Even if the judge doesn't give full custody to the father, the children can be given to the FATHER's mother to raise, not the mother.

[15yearsinQ8]

aaahhhh
a little bit of knowledge can be worse than no knowledge at all
as bedwiya and others are adding , there are important other determinents
please consult a family law attorney not dave's for legal knowledge

as for not seeing one's children again, sometimes that sounds like a good idea to me ;)

[tiptronic]

[trapezius]

^ Where did you get those rules from?

As far as I know, there is nothing in the Qur'an saying that custody of children goes to the father after age 7 or that if the mother remarries she loses custody no matter how young the children are.

Could you please provide verses from the Qur'an which back those claims up?

[Dedicated]

Trapezius,

I'm not sure, but these sound like fatwas from Radd Al-Muhtar, a book on Islamic law written in the 19th century. This was a compilation of great fatwas.

I'm currently studying "A" level Arabic (and the Quran) and cannot find these references. However, I stand to be corrected, and will keep looking!.

[trapezius]

Thanks for the info.

I personally don't care for anyone's 'fatwa's. All these Arab (and many other Muslim non-Arab) countries snatch children away from mothers and hand them over to fathers (who in turn hand them over to often cruel stepmothers and/or maids), however, as far as I know there is no ruling in the Qur'an of the sort.

Ironic that there is so much in the Qur'an and Islam about respecting and serving mothers, and the general importance of a mother (Paradise is through serving her), and then you have all these Arab countries and cruel judges snatching LITTLE boys and girls away from their mothers and handing them over to [uncaring and uninterested] fathers.

Where did they get that from? And what happened to the importance of the mother? She is important only until her children are 7 years old? (age of 2 according to above under certain conditions) Really, 7 years old? Is the child molded enough and brought up enough to leave the mother at that age?

It sickens and depresses me.

I stand to be corrected.

[bedwiya]

Also, don't forget that the Sunni and Shia have separate courts (at least here in Kuwait) so the rules may be different, depending on which court the father would go to.

[tiptronic]