Job Discussion Forums

[leeroy]

A while ago I was smoking outside in the school courtyard when an ex-student of mine (Japanese) approached and told me that his friend (female, Japanese) wanted to talk to me. He is Upper-Intermediate, and she Elementary.

So, I walked over and he introduced us. Having been the one "summoned" so to speak, I patiently waited for a question, comment or other typical conversation starter. None occurred - a mute, smoking, Japanese girl stared at me, smiling and unblinking for about 10 seconds without a hint of shyness.

"So..." I started. "Who's your teacher?"

A few equally bland questions followed with monosyllabic answers - (well she is elementary I suppose). After 2 minutes I made my excuses and left. The experience was very odd. A little while later I was pondering why someone would summon me to go and talk to them and then not say anything.

Even for Japanese people, I regarded this to be bizarre behaviour. I can only guess that in Japanese culture men are the ones expected to initiate conversations - by saying "I want to talk to you" a Japanese girl is in fact saying "I want you to talk to me".

Or perhaps it was just a one off and she was a strange person, maybe Japanese culture has nothing to do with it. Any thoughts?

[azarashi sushi]

Reading between the lines, I think probably that the "she wants to talk to you" line really means "she likes you and would like to have sex with you" and therefore she didn't have any concrete questions when you went over and talked to her.

Mind you, the art of conversation is not a Japanese strong point and even the most advanced student has an amazing knack of turning any open ended question into a single word response... usually yes or no. Most Japanese fail to realise that conversation in the wetern sense requires something from both sides.

Anyway, I think if you were Japanese the scenario would have gone something like this: You get "summoned" by the other guy, but you understand that this means she likes you... You go over there and stand there uncomfortably and say nothing. You both smile and giggle alot and exchange a few (emphasis on few) awkward lines ... maybe an hour later you both go off and have sex.

[shmooj]

The saddest thing about azarashi's post was that after years in Japan, I believe it could well be true.

At the very least it could be that she simply wanted you to talk to her or to be able to say to someone later, "Yeah, I spoke to xxx's teacher. He's really nice." when in actual fact all she did was look at you and inhale some nicotine.

Her ENglish level may have had something to do with it.
There were times in Japan where I wished I was so tempted to create a Pre-Elementary class to put certain individuals into.

[leeroy]

[shmooj]

[leeroy]

Although working in a country where "I want to talk to you" means "I want to sleep with you" sounds tempting, in all seriousness I don't think I could handle it.

Alas, I am not quite as tolerant of other cultures as I would like to be. I like conversation too much - sadly I can almost count on one hand the amount of Japanese students I've been able to have a real conversation with. Is the "mute stare and monosyllabic answers" thing really applicable outside the classroom too? Do Japanese people talk to each other or is this behaviour reserved only for foreigners?

I suppose this is all irrelevant really as I don't have a degree

[Dr.J]

Silence is more acceptable in Japan. But it sounds like you got a weird one.

[denise]

A ha!!! I have finally learned how to meet men here! Just stare at them mutely... And giggle? Should I giggle?

d

[shmooj]

[denise]

tee hee hee!!



d

[Gordon]

Denise
Shmooj doesn't have that much money.
Don't forget to cover your mouth when you giggle either.

[homersimpson]

Japan weird? Redundant. Although I love this country, it is absolutely bizarre. "Will you be my friend?" is a question you will be asked more than once in your stay in Japan. On the surface perhaps not an entirely unusual request, until you factor in that the asker has known you for a grand total of 90 seconds. 15-year-old "bikini model" DVDs, underage J-Pop singers in Daisy Dukes, homo-erotic morning calistenics (sic), people bowing to people while talking to them on the phone, naked (male, unfortunately) winter festivals, enjo kosai, mayo on pizza, chicken sashimi, P.E. teachers instructing students how to clap (and then rehearsing it) for the upcoming graduation ceremony, panty vending machines, etc. But, maybe I'm overreacting.

[Celeste]

[denise]

Celeste--

I was actually a bit disappointed by the mundanity (is that a word??) of the vending machines out here, having heard about some of the wacky things that can be found in them.

The most outlandish that we've got are an egg vending machine and a rice vending machine.

I was expecting the egg vending machine to be some sort of wacky contraption a la Mouse Trap--you insert your money and the egg drops down into some sort of obstacle course and rolls its way down to you. Nope--no such luck.

d

[Gordon]

BTW the panty vending machines are supposed to contain panties that were worn by HS girls. Not sure if it's an urban myth, but that is really perverted.

I also have a flower vending machine with bouquets.