Job Discussion Forums

[khmerhit]

hahahahahahah---loved teh satanic Butlin's number, mate.

kh

[salmon]

There are those who think this isn't funny. I think it's hilarious.

What did St. Patrick say to the snakes when he was driving them out of Ireland ?

'Are yez all right there in the back ?'

Say no more .........

[johnslat]

Dear salmon,
And some of the snakes reportedly replied:

"Are we there yet?"

while others informed the Saint:

"I need to go wee-wee."

Regards,
John

[Stephen Jones]

There were four babies in the maternity ward that had got mixed up. One was a German, one was an Israeli, one was a Saudi and one was an Indian. After some time they worked out how to tell them apart.

The doctor went into the room and shouted "Zieg Heil!"

The German baby gave the Nazi salute; the Israeli shat on the floor, and the Saudi told the Indian to clean it up.

[Shaman]

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going
back to the place where they first met.

Sitting at a cafe, the little old man says,
"Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe,
went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."
"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.
"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again and relive that moment."

The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them.

Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress. The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence.

Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever
seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.

Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his
own experiences. Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"

The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.
He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret? Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"
The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that f**king fence wasn't electrified."

[khmerhit]

hahahahahahahahahahah

[schely10]

Now THAT was funny, Shaman

[Shaman]

Glad you liked it. More to come.

Shaman

[salmon]

Two good girls were coming out of a marriage guidance course somewhere west of Galway and one says to the other:

"Atracta, did you understand all that ?"

"Of COURSE, I did. Why are you asking anyway ?"

"Well ....... are you a virgin ?

"OH NO! .........Not yet"

[Shaman]

A Letter from a Kerry Mother to her Daughter

Dear Seamus,

I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Westmeath family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though; last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your Father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam safely. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love, Mom

P. S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed

[yaramaz]

Seamus is a boy's name: shouldn't this then be a letter from a Kerry mother to her son? Or is he transgendered and pre-op, having changed his status from son to daughter having neglected to legally change his name?

O these modern times do confuse me!

[latefordinner]

Post post script:

And your brother Colleen finally got a job. A good job too, he has 200 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetary.

[gingermeggs]

Shaman is obviously IRISH!!

[Shaman]

[Shaman]