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mejms
Joined: 04 Jan 2010 Posts: 390
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Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:46 pm Post subject: |
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My situation is that my wife is beginning to learn English. She understands quite a bit but hasn't tried to begin speaking much until now. I think that it's less likely or at least more difficult, though possible, for a child to learn a language if only one parent speaks it, and especially if that parent is with the child only in his/her non-working hours. I know that my child is really going to learn English if my wife starts speaking with him and with me so that he hears it all the time.
I've known people who had one parent speak a second language and they never picked it up. But kids of two parents who speak a second language nearly always learn it.
Definitely concentrate on the minor language, in this case English. Spanish is always available. |
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MotherF
Joined: 07 Jun 2010 Posts: 1450 Location: 17�48'N 97�46'W
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Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:30 pm Post subject: |
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My children, who are not expats themselves, are about to start first grade at a public elementary school. They went to an IMSS daycare and then a private kindergarten. We choose public mainly because my husband and I believe in public education. What I most want out of a school is a diverse student population, something none of the private schools in our small city can offer. The public school we choose is known as being the school that public school teachers choose for their kids. We'll see how it goes. |
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notamiss

Joined: 20 Jun 2007 Posts: 908 Location: El 5o pino del la CDMX
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Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:23 pm Post subject: |
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ontoit wrote: |
English is the house language, and my wife (non-native speaker) has always been a sport about using English with the kids, something I consider essential because it's the mother who spends the most time with the kids, no?
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Let me be controversial and introduce another point of view. The mother (or whoever the main caregiver may be... father, grandmother, etc.) should (mainly) speak her(his) mother tongue to the children. Even if it were a dying minority language that would do the children absolutely no economic good. Even if it's a sign language that the majority doesn't speak even in her own culture.
The justification for this point of view is that if she is always talking to the children in a language that she doesn't speak fully, she will always be impeded in communicating freely and fully with the child, and this could hamper his language acquisition, and hold back his language development from reaching its full potential*. Moreover, her mother tongue is the language of her heart, the language in which she can most completely express all the verbal elements important for the child's emotional and social development.
*This idea is based on the theory of a critical period for human language acquisition (see feral children and all that), which hasn't been completely proven nor disproven. Of course whether this would be a factor would depend on how incomplete the caregiver's skills are in the second language that she talks to the child in. |
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ontoit
Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 99
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 12:26 am Post subject: |
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In our case, my wife is a motivated non-native speaker. She studied to become an English teacher in college and has always had an interest in culture beyond her home of record. Added to this, I think, is her strong investment in my culture and language because of her relationship with me and her being the mother of our dual-national kids, much as I feel invested in her culture and language because of my relationship with her and my being the father of our dual-national children. |
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kosherpickle
Joined: 24 Nov 2006 Posts: 93
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 11:35 am Post subject: |
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My Spanish is honestly so terrible I am scared of ruining my 15 month old's Spanish development, so I really only use Spaniwh words here and there with him. His father speaks mostly English to him and everyone else speaks Spanish to him. I am being driven crazy by people of both languages weighing in on this and what they think will happen, ranging from insiteful anecdotes to downright rudeness.
This seems like a relevant place to ask, so, can I get some responses about daycare/nannies/babysitters here(Mexico City)? Just... well everything you know, prices, best options, etc. I am frankly terrified and I would stay home if I could but I must work. Family members are only an option after 6pm.
I had some very bad experiences with caregivers when I was a child and I'd like to do my best to get good care for my baby and his father knows nothing about this stuff. |
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Guy Courchesne

Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 12:16 pm Post subject: |
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@kosherpickle Can family members not recommend someone to you? Word of mouth has always worked for me when looking for a housekeeper and now a nanny. I'm paying 200 pesos a day for our nanny, who cleans as well as watches my daughter, but 200 is higher than average. |
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ontoit
Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 99
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 9:55 pm Post subject: |
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kosherpickle wrote: |
My Spanish is honestly so terrible I am scared of ruining my 15 month old's Spanish development, so I really only use Spaniwh words here and there with him. His father speaks mostly English to him and everyone else speaks Spanish to him. |
KP,
If you and your husband are using English with the wee one, then you'll be fine. It looks like the Spanish is taking care of itself. |
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kosherpickle
Joined: 24 Nov 2006 Posts: 93
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:44 am Post subject: |
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My baby is the first baby in this family since the late 70's, so, his family is a bit out of touch when it comes to this sort of thing. My MIL wanted me to hire their maid but that would mean leaving him in a house full of tiny trinkets that look delicious. Plus, my MIL gives her so much work I am not sure how she would be expected to watch him.
Do you trust your nanny alone with your daughter, Guy, or do you have a family member or cams around to check up on her? I have diffiulty with trusting strangers, myself.
I also thought my son was ok with the language stuff but I am getting harrassed by both sides of my family about him not speaking one, the other, or both languages, like, EVER. Apparently he is going to be a mute? I get a bit snippy about it, they ask so often! |
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notamiss

Joined: 20 Jun 2007 Posts: 908 Location: El 5o pino del la CDMX
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 1:14 am Post subject: |
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kosherpickle wrote: |
I also thought my son was ok with the language stuff but I am getting harrassed by both sides of my family about him not speaking one, the other, or both languages, like, EVER. Apparently he is going to be a mute? I get a bit snippy about it, they ask so often! |
Oh, this is a parent vs grandparent problem which can be universal even without the language complication. It happens with talking, toilet training, feeding, and almost anything you can think of. 15 months is perfectly normal not to be talking yet, but if the baby's grandparents want to throw their oar in and nag the parents, there is no convincing them with facts and statistics about average developmental ages, or snippiness or whatever. |
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kosherpickle
Joined: 24 Nov 2006 Posts: 93
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 1:19 am Post subject: |
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Oh, I know and they all naaag me so hard no matter what I say. I tell them, "He says UHOH now." and they ask me if it is in English or Spanish. SPANGLISH OK. |
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Guy Courchesne

Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 1:38 am Post subject: |
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Do you trust your nanny alone with your daughter, Guy, or do you have a family member or cams around to check up on her? I have diffiulty with trusting strangers, myself. |
I used the power of the neighborhood network. When I went looking for a nanny, I asked a few people I'd gotten to know in the hood, including the doorman to our building (doormen know everyone and everything). One of the local do�as had a daughter that was looking for such work, whom we hired. So, in one swoop I got to meet the whole family.
I don't use cams and don't check up on her. There's really no need what with everyone in this neighborhood knowing everyone else. And now having gotten to know the nanny well (she's come over many times while I'm here in order to clean, so we yak), I absolutely trust her. |
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mejms
Joined: 04 Jan 2010 Posts: 390
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 1:46 am Post subject: |
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I am frankly terrified and I would stay home if I could but I must work |
Can�t speak to in-laws butting in. That can come in all shapes and sizes. I�m pretty strict about my family being my responsibility.
Stay calm. Take heart. The one thing you shouldn�t be worried about is your child learning Spanish. It�s not too common to find Spanish-speaking children with non-Spanish-speaking parents here, but in the states there are quite a few kids who are bilingual and whose parents hardly speak English.
Kids learn in their environment. That will come from you, from family, from day care if you choose, from friends, from school. He will have lots of experiences outside of you and your husband and lots of opportunities to hear Spanish. Stand your ground with your in-laws and be thankful that your baby isn�t going to struggle at all with the language that most people dedicate their lives to learning. Stand your ground with the in-laws and stop worrying. 15 months is certainly not time to dismiss the kid�s potential for language. |
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Enchilada Potosina

Joined: 03 Aug 2010 Posts: 344 Location: Mexico
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 3:40 am Post subject: |
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notamiss wrote: |
kosherpickle wrote: |
I also thought my son was ok with the language stuff but I am getting harrassed by both sides of my family about him not speaking one, the other, or both languages, like, EVER. Apparently he is going to be a mute? I get a bit snippy about it, they ask so often! |
Oh, this is a parent vs grandparent problem which can be universal even without the language complication. It happens with talking, toilet training, feeding, and almost anything you can think of. 15 months is perfectly normal not to be talking yet, but if the baby's grandparents want to throw their oar in and nag the parents, there is no convincing them with facts and statistics about average developmental ages, or snippiness or whatever. |
Indeed, you just have to ride this one out. The kid will silence them in the end. |
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PlayadelSoul

Joined: 29 Jun 2005 Posts: 346 Location: Playa del Carmen
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Posted: Fri Aug 20, 2010 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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My sons are in a local Catholic school which is considered to be one of the best schools in the state. It is a "beca" school, with the large majority of students being from poorer families. If you walk into one of the classrooms, the students are quiet as mice doing what the teacher has given them to do. My Mexican wife and I were looking for a school that would instill discipline, as well as a good education.
Their Spanish is native and they study in the Harmon Hall kid's program to improve their English. It works for us. In fact, I couldn't be happier. |
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NinaNina
Joined: 10 Jan 2007 Posts: 78 Location: Oaxaca
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2010 1:52 am Post subject: |
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When I taught kindergarten to recent Mexican immigrants in California, the quickest way to make English near and dear to their hearts was through the multiple learning styles. Songs, games, chants, rhymes, patterned stories, call-and-response, brief skits, puppets, dances--you have to bring it all on. I had the advantage of my students being in an English immersion environment, even though the home language was completely Spanish, so I can't speak to that aspect of the experience, but most of my students had playground English with a couple months and more academic (for kindergarten, that is) English by six months to a year. Please also credit children with the silent period, in which they comprehend more than they produce. Suerte!
Serena
Have You Seen the Dog Lately?
http://haveyouseen.blogspot.com/ |
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