Job Discussion Forums

[Looking for my place]

I am carrying this conversation over from the Vietnam forum where the general consensus seems to be that Vietnam is not a single girls dream locale. I am wondering what other Asian countries would have a better appeal in terms of being able make decent friends with both male and female locals and other quality foreigners, to get out and enjoy the night life.

[gajackson1]

off the top of my head??? Singapore & Japan (Osaka, Fukuoka, etc.) come to mind as 2 very strong contenders, only based upon what you wrote & not knowing any more about the gal. Maybe Taipei, as well?

Best of luck to her!

[KayuJati]

Men in Malaysia are fairly respectful to foreign women, considering the restrictions that some of the religions place on male-female relationships. However, since you also mention "night life", you would probably be only interested in Kuala Lumpur and Penang. The other cities, being quite smaller, would have fewer expats and less choice in night life.

[raykaiwa]

Hi gaja,
Can you elaborate on why Osaka and Fukuoka my be an ideal place for single gals? I'm interested in these places and wanted to know more about them.
Thank you..

[eclectic]

what exactly pls would qualify as being more ideal for a single gal? more parties/bars? Im confused.

[wailing_imam]

I think Shanghai/Suzhou/Hangzhou in China would fit the bill.

Plenty of western women in Singapore seem to enjoy the life here However, if you are after a more 'total' asian experience, I'd recommend those cities in China. They are stimulating, comfy and not overtly challenging for single western women,

[Serious_Fun]

What is a 'gal' ?

[kotoko]

Hey,
I'm a single gal living in Japan.. I'm in the middle of nowhere now but lived in Nagoya for a year.

I think you're going to get this with many places in Asia but it's very easy to feel lonely in Japan. If I'm back home (UK) and want to make friends, you can go to a bar and people will talk to you easily. However, when I moved to Nagoya I used to go to American style bars all the time and it was so hard to make new friends. People are very fickle.. if they can't use you then it's hard to make friends. Guys in the bars were either older Japanese guys who were a bit leery or Western guys looking to pick up Japanese girls. Japanese girls at those bars were looking to pick up Western guys. No one was interested in having a Western female friend.
I was an exchange student though so slowly made more student friends.

From next year I'm going to be in Taiwan though.. I hear that it's slightly friendlier but we'll see!

[Gilka]

I have lived in China for two years, not always single but always unmarried. I've had lots of local friends and also young, single, actually-cool-and-not-weirdos-who-couldn't-cut-it-back-home expat friends. While prejudice in China definitely exists against unmarried women past 24 or 25, you'll be spared most of that noise as a foreigner.

I dig it

[gajackson1]

I wonder if the OP ever found her dream locale???

In any case, I picked those two from spending a fair bit of time between them while living in Korea. (SoKo has had an up & down DJ scene, but for snatching up wax for the crates, Japan rocks, and well worth the weekend hops). I had good friends, both local & expat, and there is solid nightlife, and pretty easy opportunities for dating - although mileage will vary. For quality of living, I liked those 2 better than Tokyo proper, as well.

She sounded like she must be at least somewhat outgoing, and the attitudes of people in those 2 cities in particular seem to be somewhat more youth-minded & relaxed, in comparison to other choices.

[Glenski]

Bars are overrated as places to meet quality people. Join some activity or club (mountain trekking, gym, church, pottery class, etc.) instead. At least the people there are not usually outright on the lookout for dates, nor are they drunk when you try to strike up a decent conversation and get to know them.

Since "Looking for my place" has not been back in over 6 months to continue this thread, perhaps it's not even worth replying to anymore (to get more of a feel for what she wants).

[gajackson1]

True, Glen, but RK's question/response (and directed to me, at that) was near the end of June, which was why I stopped in to elaborate.

I'm admittedly a bar/club person, when it comes to social-nightlife (and festivals, and combined events, like snowboarding-dj retreats), but I'd like to give my take on that? (the statement 'Bars are overrated as places to meet quality people.')

First, it depends on the qualities of the people you are trying to meet. Like many places in the world, there are enough drinkers - and therefore bars/clubs - to allow for a place to have a certain niche or 'character' if you will, that appeals to certain kinds of people. The hedonistic types drawn to Gas Panic would probably be quite different from the patrons of the bars in the Four Seasons. Some of the coolest, most intellectual, sharpest people I have met in the world (deputy ambassadors, NGO heads, thinktank leaders, etc.) I have met in bars. Off the top of my head, the bar at the FCC in PP comes to mind, as well as a few watering holes in Bern & Brasilia.

I think? hope? your stereotype/generalization of people being on the lookout for dates, drunk, and/or unable to have a decent conversation or unwilling to have you get to know them is based upon your own personal experiences (although this would mean you've had rather poor luck, mate!). From what I know of you on the boards, you've also lived & traveled a fair bit. In my time, I've certainly seen/met people like that, and been in bars where that seems to be the theme, but again - I don't think it is the general standard globally.

Finally, I DO agree on other activity outlets/social groups for meeting people (and have repeatedly said as much in other threads) - but it also comes with disclaimers. You need to have an interest in the activity - if you are just joining for social/dating purposes, you aren't really being honest with others (unless it is some sort of intl. friendship group, like in Moscow). But these types of things don't guarantee 'quality people' - it is just a sort of refining/filtering process.

Maybe that's why so many people try the online options? But *plenty* of other threads on that in other places.

Cheers!

G.

[khmerhit]

Phnom Penh is quite user-friendly for women these days, unlike the naughty 90s.














C A M B O DI A
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[Looking for my place]

Wow, yes I have not been on here for awhile. To clarify, what I want as a single girl is a place where there are opportunities to be social with both other foreigners and locals. I have been to places where the locals are very friendly, taking you to their sister's birthday party, out on the town, hiking, etc and other places where they are friendly to your face but still keep a good distance away leaving you to always explore on your own which can get to be very lonely. I have also dated locals and love the authentic experience I get but I understand that Western women and Asian men are not a common mix. Anyway, I am finally venturing away from South Amercia and am taking a short contract in Japan to check out the whole Asian scene.

[Perilla]

Hong Kong perhaps? ... zero hassle from locals and plenty of restaurants, nightlife, expats, etc. The main snag, from a single 'western' gal's point of view, might be that most 'western' males seem to develop a bias towards Asian girls once they get here. But that applies in all Asian countries, not just HK.