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Trouble with HS male student
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feebleweiner



Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Posts: 17

PostPosted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:07 am    Post subject: Trouble with HS male student Reply with quote

I'm working at two SHS and one in particular is crazy

This kid calls me oppai(sp?) or boobs sensei, if I walk by he'll whisper things like "sex me" and thrust. �He was fixing his pants, which I totally don't get why ppl think it's okay to drop and fix in front of everyone but yeah I turn away. �This lil turd intentionally walked over to the side I was facing and adjusted himself. �

He has his whole crew throwing papers and spit balls at me, he'll write things like I heart sex and he has gotten away with it because he does all this when the JT is on another side of the room.�

I'm NOT going by him looking for attention. �Sometimes I'm a row away he's saying his *beep* bit. �I'm three rows away and I have papers thrown at my butt. �

It may seem simple now but I don't know....

I've spoken to the teacher about it and nothing. � Mention it to my co and not a big response. �

Today that kid made the gesture to eat *beep*. �I'm not dressing over the top, I don't get extra with the kiddies. �All this makes me really uncomfortable. �

I don't think there is any way to approach the kid without making it worse. �The teacher don't seem to get it and it's embarrassing to mention cause all the JTEs are male. �Co doesn't seem to think it's a biggie. �How would you handle it?
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Glenski



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 12844
Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

PostPosted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 4:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's my male POV.

I used to teach in a HS (not an ALT, but FT solo teacher). A 1st-grader made some lewd remarks straight to me a few times. Once, I asked his hobbies as part of a regular lesson, and he said "watching adult movies". I shrugged it off. Later, he came to me as students were filing out of the class, and he said, "Can I see your pen!s?" I told him in a firm voice that that was not a nice thing to see. Obviously, the kid had hormone problems and was trying to get a rise out of me. He made one more remark like the second one, and after I spoke to his homeroom teacher and football coach (great disciplinarians you should depend on), he came to the office and made a formal apology. Never had problems again.

Talk to the kid's HR teacher. Find out if he has a sports coach, and mention it to him. If you get no satisfaction, then pull the kid aside and tell him the next time you get any guff from him or his buddies, you are going to contact his parents. Have the address in your hand at the time.
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flyer



Joined: 16 May 2003
Posts: 539
Location: Sapporo Japan

PostPosted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 5:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Glenski.

I feel for you. In my experience at teaching some schools seems to have the whole discipline thing under control and others seem to be all at sea.

Its not your fault, try some of Glenski's ideas
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Tamatea



Joined: 05 Sep 2010
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 5:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's good advice from Glenski. I would like to add that you might want to consider not attending his class until the situation has been resolved.
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Vince



Joined: 05 May 2003
Posts: 559
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 6:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Feebleweiner, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. You might start by telling a reliable female administrator, giving her a detailed list of the incidents, and asking her to explain to you the school's policy on sexual harassment (I know, but I'd ask anyway just to make the point). Glenski's advice is also excellent, but be careful about contacting the parents without letting the administration know (probably would have been a problem where I worked).

At the vocational college where I taught, I saw a few instances of sexual harassment toward female foreign teachers. It wasn't as bad as what feebleweiner has been experiencing, but still clearly over the line. Female teachers coming to Japan should be aware of the potential for this, so that they aren't blindsided by it and can take action at the first instance.
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kotoko



Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Posts: 109

PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 4:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm going to assume you're also an ALT. Glenski's part about speaking with the homeroom teacher is good for the first step. However, if it continues, I suggest not scolding him in Japanese. If you make a mistake, he'll never let you live it down. A shouting teacher is a lot more scary when you don't know what they are saying, as opposed to a shouting teacher who doesn't have a native accent and is making simple mistakes in their anger. Throw some swear words into it and stuff to make yourself sound and feel more threatening. (If they know some swear words already - the f word is pretty well known) then obv you might want to avoid them.

If it continues still, refuse to teach that class. In Japan the children, as the customer, are God, but if you, the foreign guest teacher, were to be upset, it could potentially be more damaging to the school. You refusing to teach this class would get the message across right up to the kocho, so something would be done about it. IF something isn't done, perhaps you could speak with the BoE?

I had a problem a while back with girls touching my *beep*, and talking about my *beep* instead of answering questions, and also a boy who kept touching me and stroking my arms in a way that made me very uncomfortable. I followed the advice above and it seems to have worked fine.
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Glenski



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 12844
Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kotoko wrote:
Glenski's part about speaking with the homeroom teacher is good for the first step. However, if it continues, I suggest not scolding him in Japanese. If you make a mistake, he'll never let you live it down.
I agree.

Quote:
A shouting teacher is a lot more scary when you don't know what they are saying
Whoa! Who said anything about shouting? I certainly wouldn't advocate that, even if I were perfectly fluent in Japanese!

Quote:
Throw some swear words into it and stuff to make yourself sound and feel more threatening. (If they know some swear words already - the f word is pretty well known) then obv you might want to avoid them.
I totally disagree here! Keep a civil tongue in your head, and be the professional, even if the kid knows curse words. And, if he doesn't know them, you're just wasting your breath anyway.

Quote:
You refusing to teach this class would get the message across right up to the kocho, so something would be done about it. IF something isn't done, perhaps you could speak with the BoE?
Laudable idea, but I think one's employer would have something to say about it, like "If you don't teach, you don't get paid". If you must get to that point, do it tactfully as well as firmly. Just don't come right out and refuse, though. Apparently, talking to the OP's boss has not worked yet, either, so perhaps going to that person's boss (not the BOE, who could probably care less about a dispatch ALT's situation) would be better.
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fluffyhamster



Joined: 13 Mar 2005
Posts: 3292
Location: UK > China > Japan > UK again

PostPosted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 3:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't think it hurts though to be contemptuous (in English, that is!) sometimes, if a student really is being boorish - they'll be able to tell from your tone of voice that you don't think much of their behaviour, which could get them to alter it for the better (for a while at least, anyhow).

That being said, I appreciate that it might be hard for a female AET to shrug off a male youth who could be quite big and intimidating for all I know! But I'd still try snorting derisively or something - I mean, these kids are or should be treated as, well, utimately kids still, and you're a grown woman and should be treated as such - respectfully! (Not that their "advances" would be any less inappropriate if aimed at girls more their own age!). Become a bit more steely-eyed and make 'em quake in fear of your warranted disapproval, I say! Twisted Evil
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kotoko



Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Posts: 109

PostPosted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 4:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glenski, thank you for your comments.

By shouting, I meant getting angry, not screaming and yelling at him. Voices do need to be raised- his behavior is bang out of order.

And as for the swearing, it is not meant for him to understand. It is meant for the op to feel more threatening herself.

Thankfully, the ALT world is not yet at the stage where if you refuse to teach a class due to bad behavior, money will be docked. We are still seen as foreign guests wheeled in to make classes fun and exciting. If the OP were to warn her supervisor, or someone higher in the school that she did not want to teach the class due to sexual harassment, I think it would be a very very rare case that she would be the one punished for it herself.
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Cool Teacher



Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 930
Location: Here, There and Everywhere! :D

PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glenski wrote:
Later, he came to me as students were filing out of the class, and he said, "Can I see your pen!s?" I told him in a firm voice that that was not a nice thing to see.


Shocked

Do you mean "Not a nice thing to say?"

If you make that kind of joke the student might repeat it to other students and then you could get a very disrespectful nickname.

Quote:
Obviously, the kid had hormone problems and was trying to get a rise out of me.



Embarassed

Agian this is a bad choice of words if you use them to the student, "You're not getting a rise out of me!" would have put the other students in stitches where I am from.

The advice is good though. You should tell the homeroom teacher, sports teacher, vice-principal (they are more effective than principals, I feel) and also arrange with the teacher staff that you will call their parents if this goes on.

Sounds like a terrible situation and not one that you should have to put up with. If they were adults what he is doing would be illegal harrassment.
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southofreality



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 579
Location: Tokyo

PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:25 am    Post subject: Don't fall for this... Reply with quote

Hasn't anyone noticed...

1. The OP's username?
2. The OP only posted once?

Sophmoric troll attempts rarely get such serious responses.

Kinda funny, though.
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seklarwia



Joined: 20 Jan 2009
Posts: 1546
Location: Monkey onsen, Nagano

PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:39 am    Post subject: Re: Don't fall for this... Reply with quote

southofreality wrote:
Hasn't anyone noticed...

1. The OP's username?
2. The OP only posted once?

Sophmoric troll attempts rarely get such serious responses.

Kinda funny, though.

If the OP had only signed up the day they posted, I might have agreed with you. But to sign up with that name 6 months ago and only start the thread now... that seems an awful lot of forward planning just for a troll thread.

9 posts in 6 months... the OP seems more like one of the many posters here who visit and/or post very rarely and normally only when they need advice.
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southofreality



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 579
Location: Tokyo

PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 6:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some of OP's old posts talk about living in some remote island in the Caribbean and having trouble with a COE and then coming to Japan on a tourist visa to start work. Now, OP's working in schools in Japan?...

Dunno, seems fishy to me. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong...
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Cool Teacher



Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 930
Location: Here, There and Everywhere! :D

PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 6:56 am    Post subject: Re: Don't fall for this... Reply with quote

southofreality wrote:
Hasn't anyone noticed...

1. The OP's username?
2. The OP only posted once?

Sophmoric troll attempts rarely get such serious responses.

Kinda funny, though.


I think feebleweiner is genuine it's a funny name for a girl though.
Confused
Are you a girl feebleweiner?

I think it would be unethical for a teacher to make up stories about their students so I don't think it can be a troll.
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Cool Teacher



Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 930
Location: Here, There and Everywhere! :D

PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any update on yout troublemsome HS student feeble? Confused
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