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bringing a spouse
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naturegirl321



Joined: 04 May 2003
Posts: 9041
Location: home sweet home

PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The problem with teaching couples is that if one person doesn't like it, then the school loses two teachers.
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artemisia



Joined: 04 Nov 2008
Posts: 875
Location: the world

PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

But the OP's husband is not a teacher, right? Nor teaching inclined which makes TEFL teaching abroad and having to support a partner more complex unless you go somewhere that pays really well.
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mfelix87



Joined: 20 Oct 2010
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Artemisia, you are correct: my husband is not a teacher. Therefore, I am expecting to have to support him on my salary. Also, in reference to your question earlier, I am not currently an ESL teacher.

TEFL is something I have always wanted to do, and since job prospects are low here and we are already living off the bare minimum, I have been seriously considering taking the leap. I know I won't be making a fortune teaching--for me, that isn't terribly important. I just want to teach, make enough for myself and my husband to live a comfortable, if meager, existence (i.e., not starving to death or going into massive debt) and take in a new culture. But so far the outlook is not so good Sad
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Glenski



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 12844
Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I repeat a very important question:

What exactly did your husband figure he would do for work overseas?

You mentioned "I" five times in your last post plus one "me", yet we have heard practically nothing about his feelings in all this. It's possible to support both of you in many situations, but not all, and having a spouse sit at home unemployed with no/few job prospects and no command of the local language will not make him very happy about your new life. What is his plan or feeling in all this?
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Zero



Joined: 08 Sep 2004
Posts: 1402

PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

naturegirl321 wrote:
My hhubsnad left after 10 weeks in Korea. Just saying, money wise, we're fine, pride wise, we're not.


Is he coming back?
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mfelix87



Joined: 20 Oct 2010
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glenski,
My husband is quite supportive of the idea. Of course, he has reservations, especially regarding money and language, but overall he is positive about the idea. He currently works a low paying job that he doesn't particularly enjoy. There is a regular threat as well that the place may go under, so I wouldn't call his work reliable or a career by any means. I've always been more career-oriented than he is, I have more specific goals and a college education, and he has always shown support for me career wise. (It is probably worth noting that we are both in our early twenties and don't have much tying us down right now.) My main concern is not so much about how he will fill his time while I am working; of course, his happiness is very important to me, but I don't anticipate this being much of a problem, at least not right now. At the moment, I am trying to figure out if the two of us going abroad is even financially feasible because, at this point, the two of us are assuming that I will be the sole bread winner.

I think it is worth noting as well that I am not planning, at this point, to teach abroad for my entire career. I have been thinking about teaching abroad for a few/several years, then coming back to the states to get a state teaching credential. Part of the reason I am interested in getting the MA TESOL from CSUSB is that it is geared both towards those who want to teach abroad as well as those who want to teach ESL students in the states. If I go this route, then my husband would be able to begin working again.

To wrap up, I came to this board to get advice from experienced TEFL teachers moreso about TEFL jobs, not so much about my husband, since I talk to him at length about this regularly (although I do appreciate the advice/questions I have received thus far).
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artemisia



Joined: 04 Nov 2008
Posts: 875
Location: the world

PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi mfelix87

True, your focus is TEFL but when you're new to going overseas, issues can crop up that you haven't always thought about or prepared for in advance. The other thing is that there may be opportunities (like study overseas) that you haven't factored in.
I always find it useful to get a broader picture of something especially if it involves my going somewhere noticeably foreign and with (perhaps) less than stellar conditions. With a first job abroad that is often the case but not always so. I guess your asking about possible work for your husband raised the issue that due to a lack of quals and language skills, getting local work would be pretty difficult for him and therefore what could he do.

I think your plan is pretty solid. Getting the MA TESOL from CSUSB does sound like it offers you quite a few choices in the short and long term. I also think you could support yourself and spouse in the ME (and probably Korea) from what I've seen of those advertised jobs but am less sure about elsewhere. Just looking at as many TEFL job boards online as possible would hopefully give you some idea of salary and conditions abroad.
All the best with your plans. Smile
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Zero



Joined: 08 Sep 2004
Posts: 1402

PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mfelix87 wrote:
Glenski,
My husband is quite supportive of the idea. Of course, he has reservations, especially regarding money and language, but overall he is positive about the idea. He currently works a low paying job that he doesn't particularly enjoy. There is a regular threat as well that the place may go under, so I wouldn't call his work reliable or a career by any means. I've always been more career-oriented than he is, I have more specific goals and a college education, and he has always shown support for me career wise. (It is probably worth noting that we are both in our early twenties and don't have much tying us down right now.) My main concern is not so much about how he will fill his time while I am working; of course, his happiness is very important to me, but I don't anticipate this being much of a problem, at least not right now. At the moment, I am trying to figure out if the two of us going abroad is even financially feasible because, at this point, the two of us are assuming that I will be the sole bread winner.

I think it is worth noting as well that I am not planning, at this point, to teach abroad for my entire career. I have been thinking about teaching abroad for a few/several years, then coming back to the states to get a state teaching credential. Part of the reason I am interested in getting the MA TESOL from CSUSB is that it is geared both towards those who want to teach abroad as well as those who want to teach ESL students in the states. If I go this route, then my husband would be able to begin working again.

To wrap up, I came to this board to get advice from experienced TEFL teachers moreso about TEFL jobs, not so much about my husband, since I talk to him at length about this regularly (although I do appreciate the advice/questions I have received thus far).


MOD EDIT
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Glenski



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 12844
Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mfelix87 wrote:
Glenski,
My husband is quite supportive of the idea. Of course, he has reservations, especially regarding money and language, but overall he is positive about the idea.
Ok, that's good. Still doesn't answer the second question, though.

Quote:
He currently works a low paying job that he doesn't particularly enjoy.
Other than the low pay, why doesn't he enjoy it? Also, what makes him think he'll enjoy working at a similarly low-paying job in a foreign land?

Quote:
My main concern is not so much about how he will fill his time while I am working; of course, his happiness is very important to me, but I don't anticipate this being much of a problem, at least not right now.
Again, this is you talking about him. Please answer my question about his feelings for trying to find work overseas and especially what he thinks he can actually do.

Quote:
At the moment, I am trying to figure out if the two of us going abroad is even financially feasible because, at this point, the two of us are assuming that I will be the sole bread winner.
I think you are learning it all depends on where you go, how much you need to pay in your loans, and how cheaply you feel comfortable living.

Quote:
To wrap up, I came to this board to get advice from experienced TEFL teachers moreso about TEFL jobs, not so much about my husband, since I talk to him at length about this regularly (although I do appreciate the advice/questions I have received thus far).
I am not trying to be nosey here, but I think you don't fully realize the enormity of what you are asking advice about.

Finances we can tell you all about if you pick a country.
But, bringing along a positive-minded husband who has very little in the way of job prospects can be more than a burden (financially, if nothing else). It can be a severe strain on your marriage. So, I urge you to answer just those questions I've posed to give us an idea of how to help advise you. That's why we answer, you know, and you haven't really given much of a positive outlook for the two of you based on the little you've written about your husband.

artemisia wrote:
I think your plan is pretty solid.
I am not so optimistic, and you agreed with me earlier. Remember what she wrote about her current situation:

We are currently poor. Straight up poor. We had to move in with my sister because I haven't been able to get a job out of college (unemployment rate in my area is a steady-to-rising 15%) and I don't qualify for unemployment benefits. My husband works a very low paying job as it is.

Take poor with student loans abroad along with a spouse with poor to zero job prospects, and I think you are looking for a strained marriage if nothing else.
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artemisia



Joined: 04 Nov 2008
Posts: 875
Location: the world

PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

MOD EDIT

Glenski:
Yes, I agreed with you but I did also say getting an MA could give the OP some options in my previous post. If someone is going to go ahead with pursing EFL teaching abroad then it makes sense to become as highly qualified as possible. What makes this a more complex situation than more usual ones is having a dependant you have to support on a TEFL salary - and that's not straightforward at all. However, qualifying and pursuing work where there really is work seems to me to be a more solid plan than staying in an impoverished state in your own country.

No-one can really know someone else's situation or the complexities of another�s relationship. Mfelix87 has made it clear she�s really just interested in information about her professional situation. That�s fair enough; it's her business after all.
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Glenski



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 12844
Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

artemisia wrote:
Glenski:
Yes, I agreed with you but I did also say getting an MA could give the OP some options in my previous post.
Depends. In Japan, is usually won't help with entry level jobs. I say "usually" because in the past couple of years, things have gotten very competitive here.

artemisia wrote:
No-one can really know someone else's situation or the complexities of another�s relationship. Mfelix87 has made it clear she�s really just interested in information about her professional situation. That�s fair enough; it's her business after all.
I can fully understand this point, but her own situation isn't the only one at stake here, and so I have asked for a wee bit more just to be able to give a more realistic answer than, "Well, you can get XYX jobs with your background", only to have to add, "But your spouse will practically be guaranteed to be miserable". Knowing more may help. No guarantees, though.
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spiral78



Joined: 05 Apr 2004
Posts: 11534
Location: On a Short Leash

PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glenski: I repeat a very important question:

What exactly did your husband figure he would do for work overseas?

You mentioned "I" five times in your last post plus one "me", yet we have heard practically nothing about his feelings in all this. It's possible to support both of you in many situations, but not all, and having a spouse sit at home unemployed with no/few job prospects and no command of the local language will not make him very happy about your new life. What is his plan or feeling in all this?


Again, this is you talking about him. Please answer my question about his feelings for trying to find work overseas and especially what he thinks he can actually do.

I don't think the OP is under any obligation to answer pointed and repeated questions about her partner. It's not really the purpose of the forum to advise on these matters.

OP To wrap up, I came to this board to get advice from experienced TEFL teachers moreso about TEFL jobs, not so much about my husband, since I talk to him at length about this regularly (although I do appreciate the advice/questions I have received thus far).

Fair enough.
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artemisia



Joined: 04 Nov 2008
Posts: 875
Location: the world

PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 10:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mfelix87 has been very clear that she's specifically interested in professional information about getting work to support herself and her husband and where in the world she might be able to do this. Clearly the initial questions she asked about possible work for her husband, while they're abroad, were not a particularly pressing issue as I myself first thought.

It is possible she can support herself and her spouse with an MA in TESOL in some parts of the world. That is really the only important point here and I can see no benefit to her in answering personal questions about her husband's wishes etc. I would not want to discuss such issues on a public forum about TEFL jobs. I don't know who would.
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Glenski



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 12844
Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 10:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

spiral78 wrote:
I don't think the OP is under any obligation to answer pointed and repeated questions about her partner. It's not really the purpose of the forum to advise on these matters.
There is no obligation for any of us to answer any questions here, if you want to be that strict about things.

I'm just trying to get enough background material so that everyone can provide the most thorough advice possible.

Will she be able to support the 2 of them on an MA-based salary? The answer is "it depends on where you go and what job you can land". I think that for any more specifics, a country would have to be selected (not just a region), and those in the know there can help out.
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spiral78



Joined: 05 Apr 2004
Posts: 11534
Location: On a Short Leash

PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 6:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The questions posed that I find inappropriate are not related to her job prospects.
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