Job Discussion Forums

[efemmera]

I read the female teachers post from February which morphed into something else completely and while it was interesting, did leave me with a desire for more info. I would love to hear from any females teaching in Ha Noi on your experiences as both a teacher and as a resident. I am trying to decide if a Noi is a visit or a move and some perspective other than my own would be nice. Admittedly, I am very new here but to be honest, I wasn't prepared for some of the behaviour I have experienced. The staring I expected but I did not expect what I can only describe as cruelty from many of the women. I don't want to go into detail and start culture bashing because that is certainly not my intent. I would be happy for any female to either PM me or post their experience in this culture as it might provide some much needed insight. Thanks in advance.

[grace717135]

Dont take it to heart, my wife is from Thuong Lan about two hours out of
Hanoi , when we arrive in Hanoi the city girls always look down on my wife because she is a country girl. In jewellery shops especially the counter girls ignore my wife when she asks questions so from now on i always ask her to enter the shops first about a minute after my wife has asked a question i approach the counter and miracously the counter girls
almost fight one another to serve me , i act so excited and ask them to take the gold bracelets out and half a dozen gold rings , watches and chains and i let them pile them up on the counter , they almost passout
with excitement thinking im going to buy it all, then i just clearly say "listen carefully, see all these things on the counter well the lady standing next to me , that you didnt want to serve a minute ago , thats my wife Huong but now im going to go to the shop next door and buy just what i see here on the counter. Have a good day". Most of the catty behaviour your experiencing is mimiced from the cheap Korean soapies
the unhappy women submerge themselves in every evening. Dont take it to heart.

[tonyjones01]

grace717135

The point is the shop girls don�t want to waste their time on someone who isn�t going you buy something. Now they know that foreigners will also waste their time.
They�re just reacting to what their job has taught them. Don�t take it to heart.

[grace717135]

The first question my wife asked in the shop was to the only two counter girls sitting on chairs shaping their nails. The question my wife asked was to purchase something they did have in the shop but still they refused to serve or even answer her. Their is a caste system in Vietnam from country to city dwellers. But if you take their reaction when i approached the counter, clearly on the day we were in the shop there was only one focus on the tourist. But i didnt take it to heart, nor did my wife . They have a hard life the Vietnamese and i still enjoy Vietnam.

[beenthere96-2005]

[grace717135]

off the subject matter again. It doesnt surprise me to see in your reply
you try for the "im a teacher and your not" card. If you want debate and
pointed replies, it really does get old and boring. Can i suggest your small amount of confidence on this reply be re-invented and benefit some of your students. Experiences and experiences that could help others ....thats the focus of the website . The original thread is a true experience , the first reply is an experience related to the first , yours is not ...focus .Can i suggest you re-read the original thread and put into words something that you can share to enlighten us. Also i do teach english to Vietnamese in Australia , and will be moving to Hanoi in 2012.

[snollygoster]

Well done- You are on the job with the nit-picking correcting English and spelling (typo?) errors ! But that job is not required here where the subject matter is what is in focus. Lets keep our superb academic application for where it is appreciated.

Caste system? Most definately YES. I am married to a "country" person and often hear the comment about how my career would develop along more suitable lines if I was to seek a divorce and marry a person more ""suitable"to be seen with a higher level executive.

My other half is looked down on by snotty-nosed shop assistants in the classier (expensive) places, who often refuse to even talk to her.
I get a perverse pleasure out of seeing her wave a fistful of money in their faces and walk out after they have ignored her-not spending the money and taking it instead to the market where she can negotiate with "low lifes" like herself, and those people, I mean the ones without too much make-up and fake diamond sparkling things, seem happy to engage in normal business with my low life partner and accept her money willingly.

So, me for won am happy to not cirrect English and get on with the kwestshun at hand, and confirm that there is MOST DEFINATELY a caste system in place that keeps the lower level folks where they should be-uneducated and always feeling beholding to the "nice" folk who work in the "nice" places and have the time to clean their nails all day and ignore the money-paying scumbags by playing with their mobile phones instead of doing what they were employed to do.

[[email protected]]

I'm in the same situation as you Snolly. Girlfriend is from the country as well. We go into a nice store to buy her a jacket. From the get go I feel a bad vibe from the three girls that work there. They actually had the nerve to say in Vietnamese that they didn't think that we had enough money to shop there. My girlfriend who fully speaks and understands Vietnamese just smiled. If I knew what they said I would have gave them a piece of my mind. My girlfriend decided to take the higher road and not speak back and just walk out. For me and my experiences, back at home in the West I would have kept my mouth shut and move on. People here at times need to be put in their place especially when they are acting rude right in front of your face. You might get into a screaming match, but at this point who cares. Their behavior is unacceptable and they need to learn that. Back at home the rule is "Treat others how you would like to be treated." Here it seems the rule is "Treat others how they treat you."

[1st Sgt Welsh]

[[email protected]]

@1st Sgt Welsh

You are correct when you say that there is a danger that you may stoop to their level. It's not my intent to do such a thing and go down to their level, but at the same time when you encounter rudeness on the level I have experienced they have to be told that what they are doing is unacceptable. Will this change attitudes? Maybe, maybe not. I just felt that the line had to be drawn somewhere. Sometimes you just have to speak the same lingo others use for them to understand. (Lingo = referring to the screaming match I mentioned above.) Of course this is only for special circumstances which require special solutions.

[1st Sgt Welsh]

[efemmera]

One of the posters on here pm'd me as a show of support. I seem to have deleted your post inadvertently without responding to you and I can't remember your username so I am just posting to say thanks. I appreciate your kindness.