Job Discussion Forums

[lostinparis]

a couple more from my classes...

the think-out-loud-er: cannot work on a grammar worksheet and think silently, feels the pressing need to read all of the questions and answers to himself OUT LOUD and disturb all of the other students.

the translator: constantly interrupts other students who don't understand and re-explains everything you just said in the student's native tongue

the know-it-all: jumps in to answer every question you ask before other students, even when you specifically ask another student first

and i second gugelhupf... those mobile phone people! i think they even bring the phone to the bathroom and pick up when they're on the pot!

[denise]

The sloooooooooow talker Bless their dear sweet little souls, but sometimes you wish they would just give up! You ask a simple question, like the ol' standby, "What did you do over the weekend?" Pause. "I... go to..." Paaaaaauuuuuuussssse. "...movie. I watch..." Meanwhile, you've got 10 other students just sitting there waiting for the lesson to begin, and you're watching the clock, not wanting to waste time but also not wanting to be rude and interrupt the student.

d

[dmb]

I'v had a firestarter

[Celeste]

I have taught hands down pants boy. His problem was... well anyways, his mom solved it with a pair of snug fitting corduroys and a belt.

I have also taught fingers up nose girl. Still haven't figured out a way to discourage this. I don't shake hands or do high fives in her class anymore though.

I have also taught steals and eats chalk and erasers girl. The day she started stealing things and shoving them in her underwear and lying about it, I was a little concerned too. Maybe the eating thing is trying to conceal the evidence? Weird kid, at any rate.

Oh, by the way, these kids are all under 7 years old.

[jud]

We have a lot of Manager man.

Comes late to lessons, takes phone calls, thinks all rules about cancellations need-not-apply, homework, moi?. Assisted by secretary of manager man. Not a student but very influential.

Feels free to insult the teachers' style, complain about their age, and impart her obviously many-years worth of teaching experience to us.

[Mike_2003]

My sister, a childminder for several years, had the perpetual masterbati0n boy. Meal time, play time, story time, he'd have one hand stuffed down his pants beating his bishop. He was only about four or something, so oblivious to the social repercussions. My sister really didn't know how to tell his parents politely that their little boy was a w@nker.

[Capergirl]

Wow, after reading some of your descriptions, I'm really glad I'm teaching adults and not (rather odd) children!

[khmerhit]

[Shaman]

Ressurrecting old threads seems to be en vogue as of late. I have a new one to add to the Rogues Gallery.

He's a combination of the manager, the know-it-all, and the debator. Say hello to...

The Judge - this particular student will weigh the grammar point taught against his own convictions. If he is satisfied with the explanation, he will respond: "I accept that." (Wow, that's a relief...). If his argument is too weak to stand up, he gives the affected "Ah I see" tone when he says: "Yes, yes, you're right" (There was doubt?)

Shaman

[shmooj]

Am I the only one who meets these from time to time:

Ms Let Me Try It To Make Sure I've Got It: by far the most rewarding. They listen intently to your examples and the language point concerned and then they pause you, gather up their courage and attempt to use what they have just been taught. Then, having done this, they look hopefully at you while you pause, head on one side wondering how to break it to them that although it wasn't quite right, it was darn close and, if they keep going on like that, they will learn English faster than you can teach them it.

Mr My Schedule Is Killing Me But I'll Do All I Can: He's knackered, his family miss him but he is too far down the ladder to risk losing his job at this stage in their lives. He lets slip occasionally that he finished his homework after his project report... at 2am and is very sorry that he was 10 minutes late for his 7 am class. Despite having to rush off ten mins early for that business breakfast, he makes the most of the class and, if he has to miss a class due to a business trip or something, he emails to ask if there's any homework he needs to know about.

Just two examples of students that I really appreciate teaching cos I don't think that everyone in my classroom is a pain in my butt and fits in all the negative categories expressed so far!

[Alitas]

And then then we have the very plain and simple CHEATER.

I had to stifle my laughter when my student handed in a prisitine report, all done in the WRONG LANGUAGE.

(I teach Spanish, it was in Italian).

[cimarch]

How about:

The VIP: "You can't tell me what to do", "Do you know who my father is?"

The Barbie doll: Typically 5-7 years old, VERY cute, designer clothes, expensive hairstyles, not a thought in her head. Gives you a bright, beaming but slightly confused smile if you say anything to her. Tears come to her eyes if you ask her a question and she doesn't know the answer (i.e. any question)

The Gamer: Answers every question with "Let's play games". Punctuates your explanations with "Teacher, play a game". Occasionally lets out a tortured groan and moans "gaaaaaame".

The Best Friend: Follows you everywhere when not in class, wants to talk to you all the time about incredibly boring topics. You get the feeling he doesn't have many (ok, any) friends. Laughs at his own (surreal) jokes with a grunting, snorting laugh. Wants to meet you outside school. In extreme cases may follow you home.

Mr. Whizz: Can't sit still for a second. Feels the desperate need to cruise the room every 5 minutes. Sometimes crawls along on the floor.

The Troll: Has decided that the floor is more comfortable than his chair. Sits under his desk, occasionally having a conversation with Mr. Whizz as he goes by.

The Engineer: Likes to build things. Whether it's a tower of books/erasers etc. or a new way of propelling a wad of paper across the classroom he's behind it.

Gadgetman: Always has some new toy, translator, mobile phone, pen, personal organiser, mp3 player etc. to show off. Not happy without at least 3 people looking in his direction at all times.

The Dictator: Class monitor, very proud of the badge of office. Patrols the classroom and playground and delights in finding (and reporting) infractions. Kisses ass incessantly.

The Parrot: Can repeat or recite reams or textbook material. Panics when asked for an original answer or asked a new question first. Some also repeat EVERYTHING you say when learning a new text, even explanations of new vocab.

The Scribe: Has no idea of what happened in class but has it all down on paper. Writes without a break from the moment you begin talking. Usually has several thick ring-binders full of notes and a massively developed right arm.

[Capergirl]

@Shmooj...Must you be such a politically correct misanthrope? You're ruining all of our fun.

[khmerhit]