Job Discussion Forums

[xiong_mao]

你好！I am a student taking Mandarin courses and would like to eventually teach in China once I have completed my bachelor's degree. I am a young, white woman and have heard that I may not be received well by most while I am there. Some have said that foreign women are not respected in China and that I will be made to feel uncomfortable during my stay. I am currently interning at an Asian non-profit organization and we help a lot of Chinese immigrants. I have yet to encounter this kind of treatment with the people I work with, so I am wondering how reasonable these concerns are. How should a person of my social status and background expect to be viewed should I teach abroad in China? Any insight is appreciated.

[vikeologist]

Generally speaking I don't think this is true.

For sure, it's a foreign culture, and people have all kinds of stereotypes, preconceptions and even prejudices against foreigners in general. I think that China is a very patriarchal society, and men and women are far more different from each other in their behaviour and culture than in western countries.

I find it hard to generalise about how you will be viewed, bit on the whole I think it would be positively. Don't get me worng, Chinese men are usually sexist, immature, baiju-swilling pigs (the Chinese aren't the only ones to react to cultural differences with stereoptypes) and you may well find their attitude to women repulsive, but then again, maybe you wil find them all charming, as they will probably be far more polite to you than to Chinese women, or even more likely, kind of intimidated.

I don't think you'll have any problems with Chinese women. They may find your refusal to prioritise breeding confusing, but ultimately inspiring.

However, as I intimated before; who knows what you will think of China? The odds are if you are open to new experiences you'll think everybody is lovely at first, then you'll think that all the Chinese are terrible, then you'll develop a nuanced view based on your character and experiences will will probably be somewhere in the middle but generally positive.

I don't think you'll suffer from too much sexual harrasment, and certainly less than in other countries around the world.

Don't be scared of coming.

[Ariadne]

I have been made to feel very comfortable in China. University students have always been very polite and friendly. Locals have also been friendly. But, I'm older and married so I'm not looking for dating opportunities. Young women from the West sometimes encounter difficulties in that area. Some of my younger colleagues have met two extremes... men that want to marry them after two dates, and no dates at all.

You are studying Chinese. That will help you blend in a little and get around more easily, but you will always be a foreigner. Just accept it and enjoy the experience. When groups of youngsters call out 'hello' on the street, respond with a cheery 'hello' right back. People will be curious about you and they WILL stare at you, but it does not mean they feel hostile towards you. Look at people, smile at them, engage them.

China can make you crazy. It can also be great fun. Give it a try.

.

[MisterButtkins]

I'll just say that every single foreign woman I've worked with in China has complained about being very sexually frustrated here, and that Chinese men are repulsive.

[Baozi man]

Xiong mao,

Much depends on where you locate. Much depends on your lifestyle.

I was acquainted with an American woman who had become, more or less, the town harlot. She, by her own admission, had a "thing" for Chinese men. That would be akin to having a "thing" for crystal meth. She behaved like a tramp and was thusly treated. She knew she was being talked about, used, and abused by the locals. That was her thing. She was a deeply disturbed individual. She was also probably being taken for a ride by her business partner, a Chinese woman.

If you come here with a sign on your back saying "victim," there is no shortage of people who will victimize you.

Many men treat their own women like garbage. Adultery is the norm. Brothels are plentiful. How you will be received by Chinese women is an interesting question. Being able to speak the language and sharing a common interest will be a great help. If you play taiji in the parks, you can be fairly certain of making some good friends. Just how much racist persecution you will experience remains to be seen.

Location, location, location. Integrity, integrity, integrity.

[zactherat]

I bet most Chinese men would love to brag that they slept with a white girl.

MOD EDIT- they're more likely to try to impress you with their wealth.

Some Chinese guys might think you're easy and laugh about you behind your back, but you'll have to get used to that sort of thing if you want to live here. Especially in small towns (but even the larger places host plenty of small-town mentalities).

[Baozi man]

Not sure "brag" is the right word. Did you brag the first time you used a Chinese squat toilet? One thing for sure, the discussion will feature lots of unflattering adjectives.

[Miajiayou]

It really depends on where you go. I live in the East, and men here are super polite to me unless I am drunk at a bar. Then, they treat me like a prostitute. I don't think that is okay, but I rarely go to bars anymore, so it doesn't bother me.

I have doors held for me, I get a cute little "excuse me" if someone bumps me on the subway, men run to pick up my change if I've dropped it. I think of it as a weird throwback to the 1960s.

I'm a lesbian and don't worry about dating men, but I'm friends with a few tall, handsome, Western-thinking Chinese guys. A lot of my friends date Chinese guys. It isn't really a thing anymore, I don't think.

But, the biggest question, the one that could change everything.. how old are you? If you are younger than 25, you will be treated like a child. It almost drove me out of China, as a matter of fact. I stayed on and am now treated much, much differently by... pretty much everyone.

[eslteach]

[Miles Smiles]

I have met no western women in China who have expressed or shown an interest in entering into any kind of close relationship with western OR local men.

[Non Sequitur]

My advice having worked alongside single Western 20-something women in China, is that you will be ogled by local guys but not to the point of discomfort.
Select a school uni that has several other single women working there. Especially where they have been in residence for a semester or two.
Also select a not less than second tier provincial city or bigger national level centre. Sure after a while in BJ, Shangers or Guangzhou you'll hanker for a more 'Chinese' experience. But in the early times you will have enough supermarkets, clubs and Starbucks to keep you feeling normal.
But (and I can't say this too many times), the first year can be a real trial for a Westerner - especially if you haven't had much overseas experience.
Let yourself in gently.
Best.

[nomad-ish]

i'm a young western woman and have been living in beijing for just a couple months now. i haven't experienced any sexual harassment. staring happens, sometimes by perverted old farts, but overall it's just a being-foreign thing.

i think it'll depend mostly on where in china you go. if you aim for big cities, you'll probably have less problems. if you've already lived abroad in a place where you're a visible minority, like i have, you'll hardly notice it.

as for dating... yeah, be prepared for some tough times! chinese guys will sometimes check me out, but either they have no english ability or are just too nervous to come up to talk to me

[roadwalker]

[Baozi man]

Roadwalker, Since we, in respect to squat toilets, are kindred spirits of a sort, allow me to tell you about the time a wardrobe change was required:

It was a cold and windy day. I was carrying numerous items-- a dvd player, a large shoulder bag, and a fishing pole case. Of course, in this large public plaza, the restroom stalls have no doors, and it is difficult to hang up anything. I completed my task with the expected degree of discomfort.

I was walking along, feeling pretty good when I noticed the distinctive odor of fresh feces. But from where? I felt along my pants, nothing there. I checked my shoes--nothing. But the smell? I glanced down at the nylon feather jacket I was wearing. The front was smeared with fresh, steaming da bian, as was my shoulder bag.

Luckily, it was a nylon jacket which I was able to wash thoroughly. The shoulder bag also presented little problem for clean up.

The real question I never answered: How did it get there? It wasn't my first time. It was, however, the realization of one of my greatest fears.

It's not the toilet itself. It is the lack of supportive apparatus, such as hangers, hooks, and so forth.

[Zimmer]

[I was walking along, feeling pretty good when I noticed the distinctive odour of fresh feces. But from where? I felt along my pants, nothing there. I checked my shoes--nothing. But the smell? I glanced down at the nylon feather jacket I was wearing. The front was smeared with fresh, steaming da bian, as was my shoulder bag.]

LOL I'm laughing with you, not at you..that's a great story .I have a couple of my own just as bad. I realize you yourself probably have no idea how either, but how the @#$% did it get onto the front of your jacket !