Job Discussion Forums

[7969]

Take your dumps before expected trips. I've traveled thru most of China and spent minimal time on squat toilets. Usually works.

[Non Sequitur]

There must be more the collective wisdom can offer OP than this.

[AliceB]

Steering away from the above digression: I'm a young white woman in China, and so far (touch wood) I have had no problems at all. Yes, you'll get stared at in the street, but that happens to all foreigners to some degree. With regards to worrying that you won't be recieved well: I have found the exact opposite. Everybody wants to help me out, everybody wants to talk to me, because I'm so funny with my pale skin and big bum and wonky Chinese. There's a lot of gender inequality in China when it comes to things like pay and job security, but this is more a problem for local women than foreigners. There's no groping on packed buses, no 'show us your minge!' heckles in the street, very little street crime (in my city, at least): I am quite comfortable walking home alone after dark.

The question of respect is a bit thornier. At work, I'm treated well by all my colleagues. I don't get talked over in meetings or asked to make tea for the whole office. However, I occasionally get the impression that the school's owner regards me as a decorative fixture who just happens to teach classes sometimes. I do more promotional work than most of my colleagues, presumably because the school wants to show off their young, pretty white teacher - though in fairness, the tall black guy I work with also gets treated in a similar way. The owner takes members of staff out to dinner a couple of times a semester, and I am invariably summoned to sit at the top table next to him. I don't mind particularly (it's not like he sits there with his hand on my knee), but it's odd.

A few gender-specific annoyances: yes, the dating pool is tiny. Most Chinese men don't speak English, and many of the foreign men out here are essentially sex tourists. (Incidentally, MisterButtkins: I presume you aren't interested in dating men, so your dismissal of 800 million Chinese men as 'repulsive' seems a little uncalled-for. It's certainly not supported by my experience.) It's hard to get tampons, and if you're on the Pill you'll need to bring a year's supply from home. Most public toilets don't have doors, so you'll be trying to avoid eye contact with the woman peeing directly opposite you. Bras are sized for Chinese women, so if you're above a C cup you won't be able to buy them here. But for me, these have been fairly small blots on an otherwise positive experience. Find a decent-sized city, find a good job, be open-minded and polite to everyone and you'll almost certainly enjoy yourself here.

[7969]

[jibbs]

[platinum peyote]

[dean_a_jones]

[Guerciotti]

I must defend the lady. Though not all and probably most foreign teachers are not sex tourists, in my experience there are more than a few. Two of the three uni teachers I work with are best described as sex tourists. They would, of course spend most of their time chasing tail at home but they're here because in some ways it's easier. Their world revolves around chasing girls and drinking. Work merely funds their social life. If they can't find a willing gal they pay for it. I know a few other foreigners with the same modus operandi.

That ain't pretty but it's the truth.

There I said it.

I also don't get the clothes problem. I wear XXL or XXXL and like others I see larger Chinese men wearing nice clothes, but I have no idea where to buy those clothes.

OP: My students would kill me if they could replace me with a female foreigner. Well I guess not, but you know what I mean? Then they would kill you with kindness. haha
Seriously, unless you're mean as heck they will welcome you. Speaking Chinese is a big plus in your favor; they really appreciate that.
G

[Non Sequitur]

As a male I appreciate the clothes size comments.
Where do bigger Chinese men buy their clobber?
I bought 4 packaged dressy shirts from Carrefour Qingdao. They were labelled XL.
I'm a 44cm neck - biggish but not huge.
I couldn't get into those shirts.

[Miles Smiles]

[TexasHighway]

Guerciotti wrote:

[nomad-ish]

[Kurochan]

Hi --

I've been in China for several years, and the most negativity I've gotten is not from Chinese men but from Western ones. While there are cool foreign guys around, there's definitely a contingent of men here who, given a chance, will be quick to talk to you (if they are willing to talk to you at all!) about how much they dislike white women. They're usually bitter about their past experiences and have unrealistic expectations of how successful with or attractive they will be to local women.

Friends of mine have noticed in the past couple years we see a larger number of foreign women dating local men, especially Chinese men who are foreign-educated or have worked abroad. That's good, because there really are cool Chinese guys -- especially young men who have studied abroad, are more open and knowledgeable about sex, less likely to smoke, etc. Since these guys who have studied abroad have better salaries than average, they are more confident about approaching a foreign woman for dates than Chinese men who haven't had studying/working abroad experience.

So, don't be scared by people who say your social life will be totally dry. It is true that many foreign men here seem to be looking specifically for an Asian woman, but are guys who have a set idea of the race they are looking for worth dating anyway? It's the portion who are just looking for someone they really like who you'll be looking for anyway. If you are open to dating local men, that will widen the pool.

As for being badly treated because you're a woman, I haven't had that happen. I've had a few smug, pompous guys supervising me at my job who seemed to look down on me because I am female, but that happened in the US too.

I'd say come to China and see what happens. Everyone's experience will be different based on personality, location, university, co-workers, etc. Someone who had a bad experience will tell you it's bad; someone who's had a good experience will tell you things here are good. It's best to check everything out for yourself.

--K

[Kurochan]

Oh yeah, for anybody out there, the brand GuJin has large bra sizes, both in circumference and cup. They exaggerate the size, though, so if you are usually a B, you'll probably buy their C. Their prices are reasonable (75-250 RMB, depending on style), they have good sales, and you can find their brand in a lot of department stores. They last for three or four years, so they're a good investment. My 175 HKD Marks & Spencer bra disintegrated after a year, and these are much better than that.

[Baozi man]

The Marks and Spencer bra that disintegrated was probably made in a Chinese counterfeiting factory owned and managed by one of those "cool" Chinese guys you are hot to date, foreign educated, no doubt.

Foreign women should understand that most Chinese guys are adulterers. After a few years of marriage, they are going to find a mistress. You will be neglected sexually and emotionally. In the case of a foreign woman, the marriage will probably last a relatively short time. Once your husband's lust for strange flesh is sated, he will drift into the arms of someone with whom he shares a common language, culture, and world view.

This is probably more true if you return with him to your home land. He will find his way to Chinatown prostitutes who will joke with him in Mandarin and behave in a way that reminds him of hs mother.

I have seen some really gross, disgusting foreign women in China. if you think a Chinese guy is going to love all 110kg of you, you are, roughly put, nuts.

Same for the guys. 25-40 year old Chinese women don't "fall in love" with 60 year old 250# foreigners. You're paying for it, whether you want to admit it or not.