Job Discussion Forums

[cks]

I am guessing this happens to all of us. Your mother's friend or acquaintance, friend of a friend, distant cousin, or random stranger from discussion board on skincare- discovers you and gets your email address asking you volumes of newbie questions for living abroad. So, you are maybe like me, and you have such a passion for living abroad and you hope to encourage someone else to do it and can't wait to see them take the plunge.

So you have answered hours and hours of emails sending all the info that is found here on Dave's to this person- taking away your precious time from watching True Blood, seeing the sites of your foreign residence, or learning skincare tips. You invest so much time in this person, answering everything from healthcare, visas, teaching in Asia, Europe, ect.... hooking them up with links, friends who teach in a certain place, even offering to help them any way possible if they move to your own locale. So of course what happens after all this time is invested- maybe- one email saying - Thanks for the great info. And then you never ever hear from them again. Or you find out 1 year later that they did move to some country and found a great job, got married to a beautiful Indonesian lady, have a kid on the way, and are living their dream. You find this out on facebook or other means, and they never give you the follow up email- "hey thanks for all your motivation, I am now living my dream in xxxxxx country.

What do I/we want in return? Just feedback or to know that they are appreciative or really serious. 90% of the time they never do anything, they stay home with their miserable job that they hate (you know this because they emailed you about how they hate their job and want an adventure). Or one guy even said, "oh I would be such a failure if I escaped and taught abroad". Uhhh, thanks for the insult! Anyway, I am now trying to filter out who is serious or not. I had another one of these emails from a young, fresh out of college grad. I told her I will invest lots of time and help her if she is serious, but if not check out Daves. Never hear from her of course. All I want is for them to keep in touch in the future and tell me what they are doing- or stop using me!!

Ok, had to vent- boohoo, poor me!

Anyway, do you guys still help out individuals (aside from Daves)?

[Teacher in Rome]

Heartfelt post!

Actually, I do help out lots of people. Not just on Dave's, but in other forums (on a completely different subject). I spend quite a few hours answering questions, taking part in organised live chats etc, because it's something I want to do. I might feel different if it was helping just one person - but as it is, I spread myself thin.

But what I've learned is that it's only a tiny fraction of people who'll ever give you feedback (or thanks). I don't expect thanks, which is probably why I don't get frustrated by the lack of it. Of course, when someone does take the time to thank me, I feel really pleased.

Sometimes people might use you as a source of all knowledge, without ever really having the intention to take you up on your advice. So that's one of the reasons why I don't like to spend hours answering just one person - especially if I don't know them personally.

There's also a lot to be said for deciding how much time you're going to dedicate for free. I have to earn my living, so limit my "non-billable" hours.

If you want to focus your volunteer time, you could also try www.sparked.com - a site where you can give your expertise to charities etc who otherwise couldn't afford to pay you.

[Guy Courchesne]

I really enjoy helping people out...emailing or forum posting is easy enough, but meeting people here in Mexico is always great. I've always tried to live by the pay it forward ideal - plenty of people have helped me in my travels prior to settling in Mexico so I do the same for others who will in turn help other people.

As for not hearing back from people, well that's life and the internet for you. I don't really think much of it if I don't get a thank you note.

[cks]

I have done my fair share of helping people on Daves and many other discussion boards, but the individual emails are getting way too time consuming but I always seem to get involved. Just had to vent!

[Glenski]

Those that I have helped with resumes have always sent their thanks. Some even wrote back much later to describe how well the improved resume passed muster at various interviews, sometimes even after they landed the job.

Most online don't say thanks. Nature of the beast. Always makes one feel appreciated, though, when a note of gratitude is posted.

[cks]

I have had plenty of thanks on Daves, but it is just the private one on one emails away from Dave's is my main vent. We bond and email forever and then it all dies! It will be from a friend of a friend or stranger that found me elsewhere, and I get so excited and have a personal investment in this person and keep hoping they will eventually do something and just keep in touch. But after they get what they needed, they disappear. They stop calling after the fifth date so to speak! I thought I was special! Feeling cheap!!! I guess I will just direct most of these people to Dave's for awhile. I gotta lesson plan and use people on other discussion boards.

[artemisia]

Teaching, especially abroad, is one of those areas where personal experience is invaluable. As long as you have a reasonable trust of the source of the information, you likely to find out things no employer can or will tell you.

I think it's usual to help other teachers along the way and be helped in return. Dave's is one way of doing that. I'll stop responding to someone who continually posts questions but never posts any information for the benefit of others. Otherwise I don't think about it that much in terms of this board. I can understand that investing in others can be frustrating when it all comes to a halt, especially with those whom you've met. However, overall, there are probably only going to be a few people you maintain really long-term contact with.

[tttompatz]

Do I help out = yes (here, by e-mail and in person).

Is it nice when I get a thank-you message, sms, note, e-mail = yes.

Is it expected = no.

Will I continue anyway = yes, it is who I am.

.

[SahanRiddhi]

[cks]

Ok, I just wanted to vent, have some fun, and be sarcastic. I have been doing these personal emails for the past 7 years and just a bit tired. I had a huge passion for it the first 5 years or so. Don't want brownie points, good karma, a constant thank you (although it is nice), but have high hopes that the ones who I spend a month or two emailing, and who I have developed a high interest in this person's goals, to keep in touch with me later and tell me how things are and what they are doing, or where they decided to go. Maybe just one or two of these souls. Enjoy Daves and keep up your good work. I need a short break from the private emails.

[7969]

I help out from time to time. I've emailed a number of people from this forum and sometimes get a reply or a thank you. If there's no reply or thank you I don't really care as most of these contacts are a one time thing. And I save sent emails (or Word file attachments on the subject) so the next time someone appears with the same questions or request it takes me a matter of one minute to edit the email/attachment and resend it. Hardly a lot of effort on my part.

But I don't do it too often and if someone (via a chain of private messages or emails) starts taking too much of my time I just say "sorry busy" and it ends.

[teacheratlarge]

I've helped on other forums, and yes, some people appreciate it, and some don't. I do it because I want to share what I know, and hope others will do the same (it doesn't mean they will). Sometimes you get strange replies, but I just shake them off.

[Ariadne]

Hey, it's not just thanks the OP wants, it's follow up. Did they go for the job in Spain or the one in Egypt? Was the wife able to get a job at the same school? Did you get the right visa or are you still working on the tourist visa? Why did you decide not to pursue the job? Gosh, I'm always curious about the way things turned out. Many posters on Dave's don't ever give an update. It would be even more irritating if I had had an exchange of emails with the person and they didn't fill in a few details.

.

[mimi_intheworld]

I have done this in the past on another couple of boards, to the point that I just wrote a dummy email message that I copy-pasted to each and every person who emailed me requesting information.

On Dave's I have had less opportunity to be the help-provider and more to be the help-receiver (I *hope* I've appropriately thanked and updated on the UAE board), but still. Yes, I answer questions (as I can) when asked. Yes, I usually receive acknowledgement. No, I've never had an update. No, I don't really care overmuch about that.

[Jbhughes]

Well, I can't blame you for feeling how you do Cks. If you have taken the time to help people on such an individual and personal basis, then they should get back to you with at least an update!

Writing on forums, even as a reply to an individual person, will always benefit countless more people (for whom which the search function actually works - on this forum, I don't mean that with sarcasm, and recommend google site search). As this thread shows, most people probably don't expect a thank you as such. Personally, I'll try to give 'em out and don't worry too much about gettin' 'em back.

Little words go so far - now look what's happened, Cks isn't helping those people any more.

cảm ơn nhiều / diolch yn fawr / ahh kuwn chan (that's meant to be the Khmer one!) / kahp kuwn krap (Thai :S) / khawp jai lai lai / salamat

Enough butchering of SEA languages.