Job Discussion Forums

[zlzabayle]

As a rookie, this is my biggest concern. I'm very close to my family. They've always been within arms reach. How did you guys deal with homesickness? How often do you fly back home to see your family and friends? Do technological developments like Skype help at all?

[spiral78]

I'll chime in from one extreme end of the spectrum: I've never been 'homesick' in my life for my 'home' country or my family, starting with my first week away when I was six and couldn't understand why other kids were crying for their mommies at night. I go to visit family once a year - but sometimes even less, I admit. It simply doesn't feel like my place.

I'm entirely sure that I'm not typical and not having children is a factor. For me, I simply could never contemplate moving back to anywhere in my home country, ever.

Hopefully you will soon get lots of responses from more typical ranges of the 'homesick' spectrum from 'never' to 'all the time.'

[Glenski]

Maintain a lifeline of contacts. People will eventually stop responding so quickly to your emails, but they may not stop altogether. I write a monthly newsletter (4-5 pages with pictures) and have done so for the past 12 years. Keeps people informed so that when you do return home, the first question on their lips isn't a generic "How's that country you're in?"

Blogs are another avenue.

Like spiral, I do not get homesick. It got into the game around 40, so that explains things, I hope.

Feel the need to see your friends/family? Plenty of free opportunities with things like Skype.

[zlzabayle]

Glenski and Spiral, thanks for your prompt responses. Glenski, I really like that idea about the monthly newsletter and having a blog. I think the big trend right now is video blogging. I noticed there is a whole slew of JET video blogs and video blogs by teachers abroad on YouTube.

I think I am a big softy when it comes to family. Seeing that you guys don't get homesick, I guess it just varies for every person. That must be a very liberating feeling. If I had that mindset, I wouldn't look back. But the fact is, I'm not like that.

Well just like I've said in other posts, I'm just going to have to see where this goes. Boo hoo, I miss my mom. Jk.

[liebkuchen]

Usually, I'm in the no problem camp- skipped off to uni on my own at 17, 400 miles away with a weekly phonecall in the pre-email days. Then I lived at the other end of the country for a few years. Again, very happy.

13 years later, I'm 3 1/2 months into 10 months in China and I'm finding it hard. Its not that I miss the chronic overcrowding in my house, the constant fighting or my old dreadful job and I really, really like China- I'm so glad to be here and having this experience- but I'm inexplicably very homesick. I am on depression meds so maybe I'm just not the same person as I was when I was younger.

I've just had my sister over for a week- she had a miserable time/was miserable- not a sinophile but when we were at the airport I really badly wanted to be going back with her.

I skype, email friends and have a blog. For me, I suppose the biggest thing is the forbidden fruit of home. Because I can't have it, I seem to want it even more. Which is perverse.

[naturegirl321]

Not homesick. going home is actually hard. Time seems to stand still, like nothing has ever changed. It's kind of awkward when I'm there. Even with all the technology, I don't really keep intouch with my siblings, just my mom, daily emials and Skype on Sunday.

Then I go home and there's nothing to really talk about. My brothers and sister call each other, so know what's going on with each other, but that's not the case with me.

Ironcially, I went to university abotu 30 miiutes away from home and cried a lot. fast forward to a couple years later and I was living on the other side of the world and haven't looked back.

Like spiral and Glenski, moving back home isn't appealing at this stage.

[Glenski]

[SahanRiddhi]

Given the wages that EFLers make in most parts of the world, one trip home can easily blow a whole year's savings -- and then some. Annual trips are not practical for most. Better take that into account when making your decisions.

[Aristede]

[artemisia]

Although I miss family and friends, I don�t usually find this too difficult when abroad as there�s emailing, phoning and texting to keep you going. I�m much more likely to pine for places � perhaps a certain beach, even a cafe or second hand bookshop etc. My first sojourn abroad as an English teacher was in Japan. I was excited to be there, even though I didn�t like the job I had. However, there were adjustments I had to make regarding my �imported� expectations. When going to parks, for example, I had never realised I could miss green, green grass, the lushness of plants and the scent and sight of certain flowers (particularly ones I associate with spring), and a sense of space around me so terribly. After the concrete jungles of Japanese cities, my attempts to find scenic places away from the multitudes were often met with disappointment.

After toiling up some mountain /high hill (there are many!), I�d find at the top of it ........ a concreted carpark; out away from it all in the middle of nowhere in the �bush� and rounding a corner to see ....... a drinks machine and a huge group of people. There were compensations � I loved being able to see and touch something from the 8th Century and I did find scenic places but it took a while. When I made it to Hiroshima, it was fantastic to later spend time cycling around Miyajima Island � very green and lush.

You may miss and feel �homesick� for the familiar, but after a while, you adjust and the �shock of the new� starts becoming familiar, too.

[Sashadroogie]

Homesickness is merely a product of bourgeois false consciousness. It is impossible to suffer from this delusion in the Motherland of Workers.

[naturegirl321]

[Perilla]

I think the homesickness/culture shock thing is hard to predict - it's something that can take you by surprise in terms of how hard it hits you or whether you manage to avoid it.

When I went to Korea in the late 90s I was already a well-travelled and reasonably mature 35 year old, so I didn't expect much trouble. As it turned out I suffered quite a lot from homesickness and culture shock. Looking back I think this was in part due to the fact that:

1. I was very happy and settled in my home situation before going to Korea (except that I didn't have a decent job - hence the move to Korea!).

2. Korea was very different to places I'd previously been (mainly South America and Europe).

3. I was working in a small rural town with no other expats.

That said, within two or three months I was nicely settled and ended up loving my time in Korea.

Still, IMO, if you think you're going to get hit hard by these aspects it may be worthwhile aiming at a location with plenty of fellow expats for your first destination.

[contented]

I'm living in my 3rd country abroad and I do find I miss things like efficiency and great customer service or Western logic sometimes.

In my current country of choice I experienced depression (workplace depression) after a year and a half of being here. At that point I did just want to pack up and go home, but instead I knew it was just a part of culture shock (more of culture shock at work instead of culture shock of the country since I was fine when not at work) and I had to get through that phase. I went home for a 2 week visit and cleared my head. After arriving back to my host country I worked for the remaining summer in a store and disassociated myself with TEFL work and coworkers. I got the break I needed and by the time the school year began I was able to start again and feel much better. The depression passed and I feel like I have achieved something in staying the course.

Skype is a great way to keep in touch with family and that's probably why I'm not homesick. I can talk with family and friends anytime.

[Guy Courchesne]

I talk with my folks every couple of days by Skype and my girlfriend talks to her parents all day every day via twitter and skype. It's like they live with us!

We get home to Canada every 12 to 18 months or so. My girlfriend gets homesick sometimes, especially around Christmas whereas I'm quite happy only going back as a visitor.